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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Bluestocking lock in!

991 replies

QuentinSummers · 29/01/2018 22:00

Posted a whole thing on the last thread and it was locked!

Last thread here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3062013-The-Bluestocking-is-open-for-business
Here's my post replying to Moth
Thats an interesting article moth. Best not on the board or MRAs would be all over it!
I was wondering today, hopefully, if the news about darts getting rid of the girls means the overton window is shifting and maybe p0rn will become less acceptable?
If not all this hooha about F1 girls and the presidents club is just tinkering on the edges.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
NoMorePills · 19/05/2018 18:56

Wow
Today I can see why people call MN a viper pit or whatever.

Can the pub secede perhaps? Grin

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/05/2018 19:38

What do you mean @NoMorePills?

NoMorePills · 19/05/2018 19:44

You mean by vipers?
Active conversations is just a string of criticism ....mostly of women.

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/05/2018 20:52

I'm aware of the vipers reference, just wasn't sure why today in particular. But now I see you mean the active threads, and I can see what you mean about the sheer number of threads picking away at all the various women in the public eye today.

birdsdestiny · 19/05/2018 23:01

I need a drink. Am in an utterly pointless arguement else where on here. How most of you have the patience to keep on keeping on I have no idea.

NoMorePills · 20/05/2018 02:25

Oh dear
Is it the t shirt one?
I'm still awake because I'm supposed to quit sleeping pills
I posted on the addiction boards but no luck
Am thinking that hitting the bottle as a substitute is not the way to go!

Waddlelikeapenguin · 20/05/2018 02:50

NoMorePills Flowers
I'm about to head to bed to hope the 4,7,8 breathing thing will work as it was after 5am before i slept last 3 nights Confused

Very much wishing you sleep Flowers

I clicked on a thread this morning about victoria Beckham (fat fingers then being nosey) to see long lists of people saying the equivalent of "cheer up love" / "give us a smile" etc i was so pissed off i couldn't even post. We went to see a working forge today - no wedding crap Grin

birdsdestiny · 20/05/2018 12:21

Flowers NoMorePills
No it was the hysteria one, I had some real gin instead.

LighthouseSouth · 21/05/2018 17:53

evening pubgoers

it's sunny

how about ....mojitos?

btw is anyone else sick of the expression "comparison is the thief of joy"? Particularly irritating when you've just mentioned something and it wasn't even meant as a comparison! (this is a chat I just had a with a friend, not an MN thing).

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 22:42

Is anyone here?

I'm like a comedy show in the bar tonight, just tried to "break up" with a friend and I don't think she understood what I was saying.

But I was avoiding saying "you're selfish, you get on my nerves and you live two hours away so can we stop doing this".

No idea what to do now!

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 22/05/2018 22:56

lighthouse

She'll be on mumsnet in a few days saying you ghosted her

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 22/05/2018 22:57

Im sorry

There should have been a smile there

Smile

I think the only thing you can do is be busy...for ever

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 23:05

I was trying to do the decent thing and not ghost

It wouldn't have worked because she's just the type who won't take a hint or drop it

I don't think she uses MN but she's antifeminist so won't see this post

I do worry that she'll come over though. I should have dropped her years ago, I tried to say how hard I find it to go out a lot with depression, anxiety, family, work, but she just says "I'll come to you".

She once asked us to check on her house while on holiday and was annoyed when we pointed out its two hours away and said no.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 22/05/2018 23:09

Is there anything you could say thats so reprehensible that she drops you like a shitty stick?

Nothing serious...just 'omg I couldn't be friends with someone like that'

Really sorry...i know im no help!!

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 23:18

No....my last feminist rant really pissed her off but even so....!

I don't know. I'm half wondering if I should try again tomorrow to mitigate the risk of her turning up here. It's quite awkward because she thinks it's a bad sign when I don't want to go out whereas I think it's great because it's one stress to cross off the list.

Melamin · 22/05/2018 23:18

I had someone who used to ring me constantly about her DC, and invite me over for a cuppa, only to deluge me with her DC's school work to read, the tea never arriving. When we went anywhere, I used to 'pick her up' - which involved going in the house and waiting half an hour whilst she talked and got ready. I got caller display so I could avoid her. Then one day she phoned and I just stepped back and pretended I was Sybil Fawlty and said 'yes, I know' a lot. Then I told her to forget about it, have really a nice holiday with her DC, and if it was still worrying her, make an appointment with the school in September. She never phoned again Confused No idea why it worked Grin

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 23:21

Actually when I say "rant" it wasn't that major. It's just I'm quiet and she's very shouty and aggressive and she said something I found so objectionable - on the subject of #MeToo - I got a bit ranty. But while she was surprised, it's her normal thing to be ranty so it didn't worry her.

I feel like there are acceptable ways to break up with partners but there's no guidebook for friends.

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 23:24

X post Melamin

She sounds a character! But I've taken this friend to medical appointments etc....though I have to say she's not been helpful to me in that way but then again given the distances I've never asked!

I did like her 15 years ago. I'm not saying she's a bad person, I just can't figure out how to handle this.

Maybe tomorrow she'll talk to her friends and they will say "that sounds like someone trying to end a friendship".

Melamin · 22/05/2018 23:34

I used to take this person places too and supported her a lot with her child, and in doing many of the things she wanted to do over several years. But it got too one way - there is more to the story which I can't relate, but the one way thing crossed a big boundary for me so the dropping had to be done somehow because there was no way forward.

I had a boyfriend who couldn't take a hint and I had to sit him down and tell him I didn't like him straight up. He took it badly but had another gf the next week Grin

LighthouseSouth · 22/05/2018 23:38

Sorry Melamin, I had thought you meant it was more of a DC based friendship if you know what I mean.

Melamin · 22/05/2018 23:55

I wouldn't worry about 'doing the decent thing'. It sounds like she will not take it as that anyway. If you are quiet, people fill in the blanks with their own ideas of what you are then impose it on you. Ghost if you have to, step back, let it cool, find an 'interest' that makes you unavailable. Leave options open, but don't act on them Wink

thebewilderness · 23/05/2018 00:00

I suggest the "gray rock" strategy and if that does not work the ghosting, aka no contact, always works.

LighthouseSouth · 23/05/2018 00:34

I'll look up gray rock
Still feel she's likely to appear on the doorstep and ask for clarification or something.
Really hoping she'll see it more clearly tomorrow

I really wanted to be decent and thanked her for the fun times etc

thebewilderness · 23/05/2018 02:22

Here ya go:
www.aconsciousrethink.com/6158/gray-rock-method-dealing-narcissist/

LighthouseSouth · 23/05/2018 11:02

oh I don't think she'd understand grey rock either.

I have woken up with a cold and hacking cough. Must be a punishment for dropping a friend!

colds in summer are bizarre.

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