The good thing is that I've shown this thread, the blog about trying to organise the other meeting and Maria's blog about Hyde Park to a friend who has been pushing back at me over this stuff.
"Wait, what? To have a meeting for women it has to be all I'll be the one wearing a red carnation and carrying a copy of The Times? I can't believe it."
"Well, I have been trying to tell you. Lesbians have to have secret groups on Facebook now as well."
"I need to look further into this. Send me some links."
So, the need to organise in secret is something that can tip otherwise disbelieving women over the edge. Thanks, ACQuee, you did me a favour there.