Argh "maiden" name

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

What can I use instead of the term "maiden name"?

"Unmarried name" does not sound right. "Previous name" ditto.

Never should have changed the bloody thing in the first place.

Actually the baby is tagged with the mother's surname at birth, it isn't until registration you make the decision what surname to give them. You can't blame most women for making this decision, it's pretty culturally engrained.

I didn't know that regarding babies being tagged with the mother's surname at birth. I certainly don't blame women for doing so; as you say it's ingrained, sometimes I'm sure there's pressure from the fathers as well, it just seems that babies "automatically" get given their father's surname (by automatically I mean it's almost an unthinking decision). I don't think there should be such things as a "married name" or "maiden name" - that this is something pretty much exclusively women think about shows it's sexist. There's no reason men can't change their surnames upon marriage or after becoming fathers if they want to share the same surname.

I can well understand why you felt like that after you split up. It should definitely be up to you what surname your third child has and it's not anyone else's place to tell you what it should be! For me, I'd rather my mum had never changed her surname when she married and we didn't share a surname than having the same surname because she'd changed hers, although I'd rather she hadn't changed then given me her surname when I was born.

In the shamefully rare instance that a man changes his name to his wife's, what does he refer to his original name as? It's just occurred to me there isn't a male equivalent of "maiden".

Maybe when a couple has kids they should all change their name to something new chosen by the parents.

Angelo yes somehow "master name" does not really cover it.

Just say I have kept my name because that's what it is.

I kept mine, despite the comments of 'what does your husband think of that',

I changed to Ms. From Miss. for accuracy- as I'm no longer a Miss.

Saying birth name makes sense, but saying kept your own name makes it a more obvious that changing it is weird.

As a side point I'm always really curious the woo har this causes, but other traditions like, being a virgin when you marry, the man spending 3 months salary on ring is not an expectation, even by those who think you should have changed your name. One or the other people, don't just highlight the non- followed traditions that make us look like non conformists.

Is this really all you have to think about? Does it really matter?

Just say I have kept my name because that's what it is.

Quite. With regards to "Ms", as I posted before, given men only have "Mr" (in fact even boys only tend to) I think it should be the only title for women anyway.

I kept mine, despite the comments of 'what does your husband think of that'

This kind of comment must be exasperating to hear. As if it's anything to do with a man what a woman does with her name, never mind the notion a man should be offended if a woman doesn't change her surname to his if she marries him. A woman's identity completely irrelevant, the man's not only important but considered a slight if the woman doesn't adopt his. Ridiculous.