Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

Would not disagree with any of that post kesstrel

Just about everything people complain about of FWR threads happens on most other boards

Especially aibu and brexit!!

That was to zebra who I’m agreeing with 😀

Even I'm not going anywhere near the Brexit boards.

I did try kittens

But you just get yelled at by everyone!

I think its the board the mods forgot

And it goes

Poster A....Im fed up with leavers being called racist cunts

Me.... no one has called leavers racist cunts

Poster B .....leavers are racist cunts

And im like....whhhhyyyyyyyyy

Sorry

I got sidetracked

Even lurking on the brexit board stresses me out

Oh yes, Rufus, brexit.

I'm really surprised people single out FWR so much (actually I'm not, because it's feminism innit? Seems to upset {some} people so very much) - but whenever I read AIBU I mostly run away because I'm so shocked at some of the hostility, and sometimes, spitefulness over there.

I've always felt at home in FWR.

Donn't forget the Vaccination board - I cut my teeth on the Vax threads on Mumsnet a decade ago. My god, they were vicious.

I wandered into a random conversation about those motion detector thingies that go off when a cat enters your garden and the fact that children can hear them and it ended up with people screaming at each other and multiple people expressing their desire to kill cats because they shit, which apparently shouldn't be allowed.

FWR is a tea party with naice sandwiches in comparison.

the fact that children can hear them

It drives ds1 mad

I wonder if he has grown out of it yet

But yes...it does seem to be mainly FWR though to be fair there is rarely a week goes by without a ‘people are so mean’ thread on AIBU

I am not saying women should "be more kind" because how many times has that been used to shut down womens voices but as someone who is really quite new to this side of feminism it is off putting to get aggressive responses. I'm not abandoning my principles because someone was rude or snarky on the internet but it has put me off getting more involved and I know of other women who have felt pushed away for asking questons. I think a very small group use the "screw kind" as an excuse to bully. That's not the same as straight talking or just being blunt which I can respect.

Yes, this.

I have no problem being pretty direct, or even having an adversarial conversation.

But when someone come to say something and their wording is a little awkward, or they are clearly new to the subject, they don't toe the line about whatever they are supposed to think, whatever, and people jump down their throats, make obscure sarcastic comments, are extremely rude, try and draw them into traps, that's not respectful, and it's not arguing, and it's not being frank. Often all of this is even before they have any real idea what the person is actually trying to say.

I'm not sure why people imagine because before someone told them to be nice, and it was unjustified or an asshole comment, that makes it ok to be an asshole to other people who have no connection to those events.

Nobody is ultimately obliged to be nice to anyone else on here, but the long waffling 'justifications' I always read on here in response to criticism just seem to be excuses to me for the most part. I genuinely think that a large number of regular posters on here are significantly more sexist than most men if I'm honest.

That's their own prerogative but why not just own it rather than try and justify it with arguments that the large majority of women don't identify with.

I genuinely think that a large number of regular posters on here are significantly more sexist than most men if I'm honest.

Ha ha. Good one

Significantly more sexist.

Feminism speaks to unearth, and describe, the centuries of injustice to women, in an unarguably male dominated world.

Calling feminists "sexist" is MRA talk. So pick your side, and be upfront about it.

And before anyone calls that post aggressive, MRA is a movement grown in the 70s as a rebuttal to feminism. There are, it seems, men who object to women having equal rights to men, and they are on the opposite side to feminism, which fights for equality for women.

Really enjoying all the threads on FWR this evening outlining why FWR is so bloody horrible.

I suppose "You could try fucking off and posting somewhere more to your taste" will just get me in trouble, right?

Well it is the obvious answer, isn't it BeMoreMagdalen. Of course if people wanted to stay and engage, that would be fine too - they can rest assured that on Mumsnet, guidelines apply, and any feminist posting anything too ferociously vicious will probably be deleted. This is guaranteed if it involves any "misgendering"

But here, personal attacks aren't allowed, violent threats aren't allowed, and we're all anonymous. What's not to like for a discussion forum?

But your arguments may be up for rigorous disagreement. Or possibly some sarcasm. Maybe the odd meme.

It seems like some people may be interpreting other posters just not particularly clicking with them or wanting to be their friends as "nastiness" or "sexism", which is just silly.

zebras, shit yeah, I don't mind the different voices. I just get tired of the ones that aren't really engaging, they're just belly aching about the women here being rude. I guess if that's what you think lifts women up and protects their rights then you can make your case. I reserve the right to put my energy into other pursuits than being a performing monkey for them as think if women were always 'civil' they would get further in protecting their only recently gained rights against the persistent onslaught of those who seem keen to roll them back.

People think I'm rude? You know what I'm gonna say, yeah? I'd rather be rude than a fucking liar.

Totally, bemoremagdalen

My first sentence was to you - the rest aimed at people who moan at the FWR forum being.... feminist. I don't know if people that do this have come across feminism before - but there is a certain amount of anger involved - anger at women suffering centuries of dismissal and oppression, our voices never being heard - and I wonder if they've ever actually watched or read Germaine Greer?!

www.shesbeautifulwhenshesangry.com/

I don't expect universal agreement when I post something but where there is disagreement, its almost always well-reasoned, articulated in a polite and not personal way, and you can engage with it

That's not necessarily true. Women can also be aggressive, totalitarian, and judgmental too. Certainly on here as well.

We each come from different backgrounds, and each have our own varied experiences; and we all have different personalities and characters.Just being female does not make you beyond reproach or question.

Sometimes I feel a little unsure about posting on here...not because I think feminists are aggressive but because some of the posters on this board are extremely articulate and knowledgeable. I often struggle to explain theoretical ideas I may have

i think we are all individuals, and some 'feminists' are actually quite aggressive. By aggressive, I mean angry and forceful and not open to disagreement or alternative viewpoint without personal insult.

If we want more women to understand the issues then I think respectful debate is vital. That doesn't mean compromising, I changed my mind on a lot of things by listening to strongly held, passionately expressed views from women, but I think there is difference between disagreeing and debating, or ignoring if you don't want to engage, compared to getting accused of being a troll, handmaiden or told to fuck off for difference in opinion which I have experienced in the past and which for a time closed my ears to things I really needed to hear.

If you are proud of your ignorance, well, you have to expect to be mocked for it

This is an example of naked aggression. Self righteousness is never becoming whoever wears it.