Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

"others. However it's not great when some posters Google your history and then try and accuse you of being a troll or a man, just because you voice different views."
No- it's crap when people drag your past posting history up. But hardly unique to feminists, surely?

I got totally trolled once online for saying something a bit feminist (moderate). Something like "hope you get raped you bitch" or suchlike.

So I wouldn't say it is necessarily feminists who are aggressive.

Because we're pissed off that we're still dealing with the same old crap!

Some people have always said FWR is scary.

I think feminism itself is quite scary because it's a political movement with big aims and some very challenging ideas, which threaten to upset the applecart for the majority, as most of us live our lives intertwined with men's lives, whether as partners, sons, colleagues, friends etc.

There seems to be this idea that feminism should be a kind of all-welcoming club that exists just to go 'Yay! Go you!' to anybody who says 'I'm a feminist' without ever having thought through the implications of that.

It's scary having our assumptions challenged. It's uncomfortable having to think about why we do things/don't do things that we've always just taken for granted as normal. Once we start to see things from a feminist perspective it can upset all sorts of cozy applecarts in our lives. It can create conflict with the men in our lives who we love. And we can never go back to not-seeing.

And we're basically just a bunch of mammals whose automatic reaction to fear is to lash out or run away. I don't think feminists are agressive, it just feels threatening to have your views and beliefs challenged. I don't think people are hounded off here but it can feel like that if you've 'run away' (backed out of a thread) because of this perceived threat.

@Bertrand

You're right it's not unique to feminists. Just that it happened on this board and not elsewhere on MN.

Thanks Lass Actually, you are right. Staunch can mean extreme in all its forms. I really should look beyond the past and not give such a knee jerk reaction.

Titania - I was getting confused as to who was arguing with who

Me too. I am glad I was not the only one.

"You're right it's not unique to feminists. Just that it happened on this board and not elsewhere on MN."

It's happened to me twice on education and once on a thread about dogs! I don't think that means people interested in education or dogs are aggressive. Well, maybe dog people..............

Go on littertray and tell 'em you are not spaying your kitty. I'll pick up the pieces.

Sorry, I'll be in there helping with the demolishing!

It is interesting though, that it is only on FWR that this sensitivity exists.

Elendon

Yes I also associate the word with the Troubles and sectarianism as that's how I have heard it used. But I understand that others will not use it this way. I wasn't having a go at anyone, but saying that it how I understand that word. It's all got a bit weird.

Well I guess that "as for not having a go at anyone" other interpretations are available. Seachange was upset by what you said.

I didn't mean to upset anyone, but I will consider myself well scolded.

Thanks for the support Assigned. Please accept my heartfelt support.

Scold's Bridle then?

@Bertrand,

I think there's an assumption that a feminist board, by it's nature, should be inclusive to all women and their opinions, even if there is disagreement. So when there's name calling etc it can feel a bit off putting.

I guess that's the nature of the internet.

Thanks Elendon

I had to look that up! Such an education on here!

A rather passive aggressive reply Assigned

I suppose it would be asking too much for you to apologise to the poster you claimed was being aggressive? It wasn't her fault that you didn't understand the common meaning of the word or that you refused to listen to her.

I think there's an assumption that a feminist board, by it's nature, should be inclusive to all women It's not. Only people with doctorates need comment. Otherwise fuck off.

Sorry to be clear I was referring to your " I didn't mean to upset".

Looking it up would have helped as well to find loads of examples of people enthusiastically calling themselves "staunch supporters" of whatever their pet cause is.

I see you have a bee somewhere about me publicly flagellating myself, But I'm done. I suspect it won't satisfy you. I will try to live with that.

It's not. Only people with doctorates need comment. Otherwise fuck off.

Lots of people without doctorates post on here and I think it's fine for people who do have doctorates to mention it. That's a totally inaccurate and unnecessarily aggressive post.

Because we're pissed off that we're still dealing with the same old crap!

Yeah, makes me very angry, that!

Though I have to say, all things considered, feminists are still much nicer than men have any right to expect.

You can't trample someone's human rights with feet for hundreds and thousands of years, refuse to change anything when asked nicely, and then complain that the people you oppress stop asking nicely and get a bit more forceful.

We have every right to be a lot more aggressive than we actually are, really.

You weren't alive hundreds or thousands of years ago. Neither were the men that you appear to be so angry at.

Assigned you have sort of handed on a plate a perfect example of the sort of thing non regulars on FWR complain about and why they don't post here.

You were wrong ; you were unnecessarily rude to another non-regular poster (who has now gone ) but you can't bring yourself to say so without this nonsense about being "scolded".

I have a bee in my bonnet about the hypocrisy. Lots of complaints that it is so unfair that this part of the forum gets criticised yet only 1 poster (YetanotherSpartacus) made any attempt to give support to the other poster; not even the self- defined staunch radical feminist.

I don't know who has a doctorate here, I don't. I greatly appreciate the posters on this board who are well read and can introduce me to new ideas and reading suggestions. They help make FWR challenging and stimulating which is part of why I like this board. I also greatly appreciate the posters who might not have read much at all but who provide unique perspectives because of their particular life experiences. They help me see beyond my bubble. I can't think of many places on the net that have the quality of feminist discussion that happens on MN, both in terms of ideas and PARD. Perhaps the people who are criticising FWR have suggestions for other forums that do it better?

Sometimes the discussion moves beyond my comprehension, e.g. the discussions on epistemology that happened a while back, but I didn't take that as a personal slight, I just moved on to other threads. I think it would have been fine if I'd said on one of those threads 'I don't understand, can you give me an example or suggest a beginner's guide?' I didn't because I didn't have the spare brain capacity at the time to start wrestling with that level of new theory, but I'm glad the threads were there because lots of other people got a lot out of them.

What usually happens after these sorts of threads is someone suggests a 'beginners' thread. Lots of posters who are genuinely interested in feminism but are feeling a bit daunted express their support and FWR regulars put time and energy into making the threads useful. Then a bunch of snipers, who were never that interested in feminism in the first place, come along and declare the beginners threads patronising.

I dunno what the answer is. Posting in genuine good faith and being prepared to have your assumptions and beliefs challenged, without automatically seeing that challenge as an attack, would go a long way. Feminism is not comfortable, it's scary, because a lot is wrong with the world and the way women and girls are treated so a lot needs to change. Cozy, comfy, unchallenging 'feminism' is completely pointless. If you don't believe change is needed, why even bother adopting that label?