Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

I think the op was 'why' not 'show me'

No I didn't misinterpret it. But of course you are always right. It's not surprising that you have such an issue with feminists really

I think the op was 'why' not 'show me

So you aren't actually going to address my comments. Just dismiss them because the op didn't say "show me"

I'm actually glad to have examples. But I'm now caught between a rock and a hard place. The example given seem to me to be the sort of thing that would not raise the mildest of comment on any other board. They would be considered mild in Style and Beauty.However, I know if I say that , I will be accused of dismissing or minimising.

It really does seem to me that feminists are held to much higher standards than other posters.

Those examples are tongue in cheek.

I certainly wouldn't take them seriously. No one thinks that people's husbands should die, however misogynistic. And no one thinks women can't be the breadwinner.

Can't say I go on style and beauty much.

I would be surprised if when talking about stay at home dads. Posters start suggesting they are all misogynists and their wives will be grateful when they die early. Seems a bit strong.

I think in that case the posters probably meant it as a joke. But it can be hard to get across your meaning in text form (that's why these are useful).

Actually, I think it's like a poor argument against any group that is disapproved of. Same as those who judge other groups like Christians or Muslims. Gasp, sex before marriage - You are all hypocrites! Somehow if you are in a group that someone disagrees with, you ALL have to be perfect, lest the whole group is damned.

Ooh x post with datun

I just said they are probably joke posts. But it can be hard to tell, that particular thread wasn't a lighthearted thread. There's no to indicating the posters is taking the piss.

Bertrand asked why feminists on fwr sometimes come across badly. I've given some examples.

Those two posts jarred with me a bit and I used to spend quite a bit of time on fwr, so I'm possibly more used to the style than others. There's a chance other posters dislike the tone of those and similar posts.
You see it a lot on other threads people make an effort to put lighthearted in the title or add a to their comment because they know how easy it is to take something the wrong way on a forum.

I dislike a lot of the shit that is going on 'The Left' at the moment. I used the quotes because that term is used as though it's one homogeneous group, and is certainly referred to by 'The Right' as such and vice versa.

I read a lot of political material, right and left and they all talk about the other as though there is a characteristic quality and one defined movement. It isn't. I am left wing but disapprove of Antifa and identity politics. Doesn't mean I'm anti-Left. Doesn't mean I am to be thrown out of The Left Wing Club. If some left wing people want to patronise me and say I'm not left enough, let them crack on, I don't care. I'm still left wing.

And the 'The Left' and the 'The Right' men are fairly united in their contempt for 'The Feminists'. Funny that.

In relation to Horrid's examples I think we need both irony and sarcasm flags in the emoticon box.

But the comment on there talked about other women having 'little jobs', who couldn't possibly sustain a family. This is feminists' talking. No-one could think they talk like that in all seriousness! And there were loads of comments from women who were the main breadwinner.

I realise that sometimes words on a page can be misinterpreted. But it's a little unfair to apply misinterpretation as the issue to FWR, when other boards are downright insulting. With no misinterpretation necessary.

So feminists are being held to a higher standard than other posters? An
example from this thread. A poster had said several anti feminist
things. She then quoted an urban myth as fact. I said "it's political
correctness gone mad"
And I was then accused of mocking someone because she disagreed with me. Is that fair?

In fact other boards frequently have ODFOD, are you on glue, you sound entitled, and the ubiquitous .

I don't think I've ever seen a biscuit here, and those phrases are simply not employed. Or if they are, they're very rare and usually applied to an MRA.

Irony flag would be amazing.

You don't really need it on what's app groups. Because you have a small group you know well and you all get it.
But on these threads (and loads of others too) the regulars get it but it's wide open to miss interpretation by the rest of the internet.

But therein lies the problem. You can't seek equality on a feminist board then make sexist comments. It looks like hypocrisy and comes across as man hating. However, on a style and beauty threat it's easier to dismiss it as 'just banter'.

There's also much more tolerance of women saving questions then that men. Then when men offer an opinion it 'mansplaining'.

Threats to "rip of men's balls off" is okay yet violence against women is, quite rightly, challenged straight away.

Would be interesting for a female feminist to post on here as a curious male on a few post and judge the reaction.

Personally I've been called a 'punter' on a discussion about prostitution, a troll for disagreeing with an opinion on another and seen comments suggesting an inocemt person was guilty of an offence because they were a man.

If you argue passionately in favour of prostitution as a man, why object to being called a punter?

But it's a little unfair to apply misinterpretation as the issue to FWR, when other boards are downright insulting. With no misinterpretation necessary

I completely disagree with this. You see loads of threads with "lighthearted" in the title. And sometimes "I can't believe I have to point out this is a lighthearted thread"

Other threads can be intimidating too. Style and Beauty can be a scary place (for me at least). AIBU is well know for its forthright nature, it's not for the faint of heart. EU threads are a bit of a haven for those that think Brexit is utterly foolish.
It's not just fwr that has a reputation.

Because I'm arguing about females having a choice. Not because I'm a punter.

I don't think I've ever seen a biscuit here

I've biscuited someone here. I don't do it often because I just get cravings for sweet shortbread with sticky raspberry jam. The only time I eat those damn biscuits is in B&Bs when they always seem to be the biscuit of choice. I don't even think about them normally, but every time I see one here I want one.

Was it seashell or someone who talked about staunch? I think she was a bit hard done by, by the way.

You can't have an irony icon. It defeats the object of being ironic.

Frankly if I'm not sure someone is being sarcastic, and sometimes it's hard to tell, what with Poe's Law, i'll know they're not, if I know the poster, and if I'm really not sure I'll do a quick search.

Or ask.

Frankly if I'm not sure someone is being sarcastic, and sometimes it's hard to tell, what with Poe's Law, i'll know they're not, if I know the poster, and if I'm really not sure I'll do a quick search

Yeah, but not everyone is as articulate as you or comes from the same cultural background / understanding. I'm quite conscious of this because I actually do have postgraduate quals in antiquated feminist theory and I recognise that whereas I feel very at home here, even though I'm not a modern rad fem, others might not. Selfishly, I enjoy the high level of debate and can usually keep on top of it, but I'm understanding that others might find this a struggle.

I completely disagree with this. You see loads of threads with "lighthearted" in the title. And sometimes "I can't believe I have to point out this is a lighthearted thread"

There is rarely a thread on here that is designed to be lighthearted. (With, ironically, one exception at the moment.)

Most of the opening posts are an attempt to point out oppression, sexism, and the flattening of women's rights. Not lighthearted stuff. Sometimes people let off steam on the pub thread instead.

Sometimes people will post an ironic or sarcastic comment, to make a point.

I honestly can't imagine many posts on here that would suit a "light-hearted" caveat.

You can't have an irony icon. It defeats the object of being ironic

Fine but don't be shocked when people who aren't regulars miss it. And fwr comes across in the wrong way.

The question was asked - why are feminists perceived as aggressive on fwr (or something like that). A possible answer is that some joke posts aren't being seen as jokes.

Bit annoying that the solution to this problem is not that posters should consider sticking a on the end of joke posts like they do almost everywhere else on mn
But that the whole of mn need to get on board with the joke and alter their sense of humour accordingly.

YetAnotherSpartacus

I was just about to say that I have no academic feminist background whatsoever. Just an interest. And it motivates me.

But I take your point.

However,
Selfishly, I enjoy the high level of debate and can usually keep on top of it, but I'm understanding that others might find this a struggle.

That isn't what people are complaining about, is it?

I didn't think it was about intellectual debate, but more about feeling unwelcome due to not being the right kind of feminist. Or disagreeing with something based on your opinion, not your intellectual ability.

There is a thread going on here at the moment about Munroe Bergdorf. Many of the women on there have a highly academic background in all sorts of things, which leaves me completely at sea.

I have made one or two comments, but I'm very conscious that I am out-educated, by almost all of them. So I'm reading with interest, and commenting where I can stand my ground. But I don't feel excluded, or intimidated because of it.

The Bergdorf thread is a derailed dog's breakfast ...

I think people are at least partly complaining about the high falutin' nature of FWR. It's not the only complaint, but I do see it as one amongst many.