Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

Sorry ^kitten*, that was to your comment on another thread. I'll switch it over.

Being angry and aggressive is rife on the internet, and not something more common in feminism online.

I generally ignore people being angry and aggressive, because they're revealing a personal failing, not a political statement.

So much public discourse becomes about attacking individuals you don't agree with, rather than a hashing out of the ideas themselves. I do feel it's unfair that radfems are often backed into a corner, so I can quite understand why many are quick to go on the defensive, and also why they will become so very close knit when they find each other.

Like I said I don't always go along with the radfem line, but I do try to make sure that if I'm debating/discussing something I'm qualifying that I or my position isn't necessarily the correct one, discussion is just as much about me learning and being exposed to new ideas and perspectives as it is about asserting my own views/values.

Something else I think is worth pointing out, is that a lot of these ideas are a real devil to get your head around, not basic ones like should people be equal? I'm more thinking about how easy it is to get lost in the weeds when you get to unconscious bias and questions about socialisation. As we've all been socialised a certain way and anything that goes against the current will seem counter intuitive and possibly an attack on some positive values we hold dear.

It's like Gallileo getting hammered by the Catholic view that the earth is the centre of the universe. It took centuries for him to be validated. Feminism for which parts I am on board with is a challenge to the view that men are the centre of the universe, and I am quite happy and secure to have that view challenged. Not because I want to wear a stupid "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt or have some imagined social capital, but because I am firmly of the view that the status quo means the entire human race is only really functioning at half capacity.

Now looking at how far the human race has come, and imagining how far we could go if we take the limiters off makes me actually quite excited and positive about the future. Wether I agree/disagree with any one idea or individual I hope at least my opponents in any individual discussion know that I recognise our common humanity, and always strive to respect that fact.

My point is...I should have read the thread more carefully. I was just musing how interesting that word is as I realise it's only used against 'the other side'. Totally irrelevant to the flow of the thread. Sorry.

Being angry and aggressive is rife on the internet, and not something more common in feminism online.

This.

No Karate don't be sorry, you are right, it used that way too. I meant that it's used as an insult to the commitment to something that is disapproved of by the person.

I find something deeply ironic in the fact that I am so much more careful about my use of words on feminist threads than on any other subject. It's surely a topic where women should be able to be themselves, but I, for one, can't be. Because the slightest hint of exasperation, or disagreement, or even, as has been shown on this thread, attempt at weak humour is pouncen upon as as example of the nastiness and aggression of feminists as a whole.....

There's a Monty Python sketch about the word "staunch"......

One person's exasperation, disagreement or "weak humour" is another person's condescension and/or aggression...

Shakey-are you talking about scaryclown and the responses to her posts?

"One person's exasperation, disagreement or "weak humour" is another person's condescension and/or aggression..."

So, what's the answer?

Is it the Black Knight one?

No- it's in a snippet with the old ladies- "ooh she's a staunch" " yes she is-she's a staunch" and so on. At a time when certainly in my memory, staunch was only used about Loyalists or Republicans......

Oh well, I was using it in terms of the dictionary definition. But now I can see that people will take it the wrong way, so I'll use another phrase:
Feminists who are steadfast in their beliefs and have largely made their minds up on most issues.
I am undecided on many aspects of feminism, but I am definitely a feminist.
assigned I have not objected to aggression, but I do not like people being patronising.
It belittles other women and sounds like the patronising person is saying 'you are too stupid to join in with this conversation, perhaps you should run along now'.
I object to this because it's men who often patronise women as a way to keep us in our place.
I think we should avoid it when we talk to each other and rise above it.

Ah I see I have been totally piled on.

I'm lost, but to me, the word 'staunch' is an accolade mostly (unless it is paired with a negative practice).

No you haven't been piled on. Read your own posts fgs, you are being very passive aggressive.

I agree with you that being patronising is not constructive. I also don't 'conform' to one type of feminism' although do agree with a lot of rad fem stuff. I haven't been told to run along or been patronised, far from it. I find the FWR boards intellectually challenging and I have always been welcomed, and that stands for me posting under a variety of usernames, as I am a prolific namechanger.

I dislike the term patriarchy, I wear makeup, shave my legs, have been a SAHP, changed my name., have a joint back account Still haven't been patronised, Certainly there are some feminists who have strong views about these things. Which is fine with me

Sometimes words have connotations for individuals that others could be expected to know about. "Staunch" appears to be one. But explanAtions have been given and accepted. Move on?

No I'm being piled on for the use of the word staunch! Not for being passive aggressive
If you think I am passive aggressive it's your interpretation of my posts. It's easy to misinterpret things in writing. I'm being straightforward and honest about what I think. Sometimes I've asked rhetorical questions. Is that what you find passive aggressive?

And a non-regular poster has been patronised on this thread. She was not a regular. It definitely happens on FWR.

Ha ha ha.

" it's your interpretation of my posts" - and you don't see the irony of this, given Staunchgate?

No I really don't! You misinterpreted my use of that word too.

Why are feminists held to much higher standards than any other group on Mumsnet?

Anyway, time for a bit of real life.
I'm outta here.

Some examples of posts from other threads in fwr that I think don't come across well.

The thread is about a telegraph article about men's health suffering when their partner is the breadwinner.

But from the woman's point of view, at least their misogynist husband is going to die earlier

Just unpleasant. This was an article about men whose partners are the main breadwinner. A lot of these men are probably sahp. But these men are misogynists and it's best they die earlier.
This was not challenged on the thread.

And anyway there simply can't be that many examples of this. Women don't earn that much with their little jobs. Not enough to support a family

Another comment where the poster questions how they found enough female breadwinners to complete such a study.
Obviously there are more male breadwinners than female ones, but this post makes it sound like they are as rare as hens teeth and they aren't. I personally know 3 couples where the dad stays at home and the mum has a well paid job.

These are the kind of posts that irritate me. Probably absolutely fine for most though but you asked for examples.