Why are feminists so aggressive?

[BertrandRussell]

This, or something like it, it always being asked. People say that the FWR board on here is scary and hounds out people whose faces don't fit. That women are always being told they can't be feminists if.......And so on. And so on.

In my experiences, you are much more likely to get an aggressive response if you express a feminist point of view than the other way round. Is it just me? Or am I missing something?

There have been plenty of interesting feminists threads recently, where everyone seems to be holding their own- but the same old accusations keep coming up.

"The main thing I really dislike is women being called handmaidens and cool wives"

Do you object to the terms, or do you think that women never behave in the ways that attract the terms?

Dervel, that's a brilliant post.

I have a recipe for home made baked beans that is utterly delicious. And try the Hairy Biker's sausage casserole before rejecting the idea completely.

Do you object to the terms, or do you think that women never behave in the ways that attract the terms

I object to the terms.

Also fwr is a pretty rad fem space, so the bar is often set very high. Sometimes women get the handmaiden label slapped on them for something pretty minor. Or vast swathes of women get the label slapped on them.

As with most things, attacking / criticising the person and not their arguement or view is a poor way to conduct a discussion.

"The main thing I really dislike is women being called handmaidens and cool wives"

Do you object to the terms, or do you think that women never behave in the ways that attract the terms?

As far as I'm concerned anyone resorting to using them about another poster has lost the argument and I will disregard any further posts by that poster on a thread.

It's difficult.

What do you do if women behave in awful ways? Are women not allowed to be angry with or outraged by the behaviour of other women?

Well put Dervel

Also it is bloody fashionable now to be anti-feminist.

I don't feel the need to conform to a feminist menu, whether rad fem or whatever. But I do consider myself feminist. I have also made some 'un-feminist' choices, such as being a SAHP, shaving my legs and other things that some feminists have a strong opinion about.

As far as being aggressive. Er, fuck off to that . If I decide to respond aggressively to a poster that is pissing me off, surely that reflects on me, not other feminists. We are not all the same. If you substituted "women on MN" for feminists here, I'm sure most posters would agree that not all "women on MN" are aggressive. Some are certainly, but mostly on the AIBU board.

And actually, a lot of critics of the FWR board on this thread are pretty aggressive in their language, with "staunch" feminist and the like.

assigned
I used the word 'staunch'. It means 'very loyal and committed in attitude'.
I'm sorry if you find that offensive.

What do you do if women behave in awful ways? Are women not allowed to be angry with or outraged by the behaviour of other women

Of course you are, but actually have the arguement with them. Dismissing them as handmaidens or cool wives is lazy. Actually lass put it best.

As far as I'm concerned anyone resorting to using them about another poster has lost the argument and I will disregard any further posts by that poster on a thread

I think the fact things are in print means there's loads of opportunity to take things the wrong way. I remember one posters commenting to me that she had "seen me on lots of threads like these"

Initially I felt a bit threatened, like she had her eye on me or my card had been marked. But she probably just meant literally what she said, she had noticed me posting before on similar threads. Just an observation, but for 10 seconds it felt a bit threatening (ok threatening is definitely an exaggeration here, but you know what I mean).

"Of course you are, but actually have the arguement with them. Dismissing them as handmaidens or cool wives is lazy."

Yes, I know. But sometimes, when you've had the argument......

And it's frustrating that all this have the argument, don't use lazy blanket terms, no insults, always be measured and calm, never be mocking and so on and so on always seems to be one way traffic......

Synonyms for 'staunch':
stalwart, loyal, faithful, trusty, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, reliable, steady, constant, hard-working, vigorous, stable, firm, steadfast, redoubtable, resolute, unswerving, unwavering, unhesitating, unfaltering
"a staunch supporter of the cause"
Damn me and my aggressive language.
These words describe many feminists on this board and I admire them for it.

Because there is so much that is desperately wrong and so few people who realise it or understand it. I don't think any feminist means to be aggressive but it's so hard not to be angry.

I don't find feminists aggressive but I do find people calling me a feminist as an insult
If I see some misogynistic post on social media then I will comment on it, never in an aggressive way though. I tend to get abuse back.

To clarify I mean they think calling me a feminist is an insult.

Indeed Eleanor. There's a great deal of aggressive misogyny on social media.

There's quite a lot of anti feminist aggression on here, to be honest.

Actually staunch is usually used with people in the Orange Order, DUP hence why I find it an aggressive term.

And really, you might consider reviewing the tone of your posts if you are concerned about aggressiveness

What is aggression? Is it the use of a high pitched voice? A loud voice? An emotional argument?

Regardless of what is being discussed, I find it easier to listen and put across my POV if discussion is calm.

I'm a feminist, but I've walked away from discussions with other feminists because I get a bit overwhelmed when it gets too emotionally charged.

Indeed Bertrand and much of it has the same tone as the MRAs and antifeminists online. Mostly STFU you uppity bitches

''Feminism is cancer''.
Expressed frequently on social media, and you can buy it on a T shirt. Can you imagine saying it being said about any other movement? It would be classed as hate speech.

Assigned, I've only ever heard staunch used in relation to staunch catholics, the opposite to what you associate the word with.

Yes, I know. But sometimes, when you've had the argument

I know it's frustrating. But you did ask why feminists get accused of being aggressive. This might be part of the problem.
If you don't fancy having this discussion then don't. But calling women handmaidens just gets their backs up and entrenches them even more.

Again
"I'm a feminist, but I've walked away from discussions with other feminists because I get a bit overwhelmed when it gets too emotionally charged."

If you substituted feminist with 'Women on Mumsnet', it could equally be true but wouldn't be a problem then. We don't always have to agree and sometimes, someone with get upset, lairy, whatever.

Some people just don't like feminists though. Some men don't like women too and the language used against them is quite similar

Always the same these threads. The question is asked, people respond, then are asked to provide examples and if a specific one can't be provided they're dismissed. And even when an example is provided from the same thread there is an attempt to dismiss.

I actually think it's incredibly goady to start threads lol this and I think (though happy to be corrected) that the OP has started similar threads before. Given that they invariably head the same way, I find it puzzling if not goady.

Ok Kitten but my point is the same, that it's a negative word for 'commitment'. Not sure what your point is?