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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Rapist copied scenes he'd seen in pornography

296 replies

NoLoveofMine · 25/08/2017 23:16

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-41039754

OP posts:
QueenLaBeefah · 27/08/2017 13:36

Well you're not after support from us are you so why are you upset that you didn't get it?

thesleepystorm · 27/08/2017 13:37

Thank god I'm not after any kind of support from my fellow "sisters" eh?!

Good because I couldn't support anyone condoning and enabling the exploitation of women, female or not.

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 13:37

Not #allwomen yes #allfeminists

thesleepystorm · 27/08/2017 13:38

Also coin you will find that there are loads of feminists who support sex work and porn. Sadly.

stitchglitched · 27/08/2017 13:40

Coin what about the poster who asked for support with her abusive partner? She currently has a social worker trying to help her end the relationship safely and you saw fit to go onto her thread and blame her and say how sorry you felt for her abuser.

I know this is a public forum and everyone has different opinions but yours are so harmful and damaging that were this my site you would be banned.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 27/08/2017 13:40

You were given expressions of sympathy on the Macron thread which you rejected. You told posters to stop feeling sorry for you. You rejected even considering the idea that what you were describing was sexual abuse- in your own words pre-teen sex with adults was "fun and enjoyable".

You then came on here and mounted a defence of the porn industry.

What "support" are you looking for beyond looking for posters to agree with you?

CeeBeeBee · 27/08/2017 13:52

I don't believe anything Coin has written either. It's as if they have come on here to deliberately derail a thread and piss the feminists off.

There is plenty of literature containing studies about the harm porn does to users and women as a whole.

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 13:53

You don't have to believe me. Your opinion of me doesn't pay my bills. But at least accept what I'm saying as a woman who works in the industry.

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 13:54

There may be plenty of lite it my experience is that bar injury (which can happen in any job) it's not harmful to women. It hasn't been harmful to me. Being on the dole would be harmful to me. And yes it's all about money.

QueenLaBeefah · 27/08/2017 13:55

Nope

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 13:59

You're not going to accept what I say because you want to believe all women in the sex industry are victims. I rest my case.

QueenLaBeefah · 27/08/2017 14:00

I didn't not accept anything you say because it all sounds made up. I rest my case.

QueenLaBeefah · 27/08/2017 14:01

*didn't (not didn't not)

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 14:03

Wow. Woman works in the sex industry. That sound so unrealistic.

QueenLaBeefah · 27/08/2017 14:04

Not especially, no.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 27/08/2017 14:06

coin

There have been people on here trying to be supportive towards you

QuentinSummers · 27/08/2017 14:06
Confused What unrealistic is that you write off so many things that are blatantly not ok as ok. Either you are making stuff up or you are a severely damaged individual. I'm not sure what support you were hoping for on this board, but people cheerleading your lifestyle isn't going to happen. Because it's not ok for anyone to live like you do. If you do.
CeeBeeBee · 27/08/2017 14:07

Your experience may not have been harmful to YOU but unless you know every single porn actress in the world, you can't say the industry doesn't damage them when there is plenty of evidence to show it does.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 27/08/2017 14:07

Woman works in the sex industry. That sound so unrealistic

No one has said this

QuentinSummers · 27/08/2017 14:08

I'm reporting now as I'm getting too close to troll hunting

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 14:08

Well you seem to doubt me. I've not said anything out of the ordinary. In fact by state quoted on here I'm pretty typical for a sex worker. Previous history of childhood sexual abuse, teenage mother, been raped as an adult, history of abusive relationships. What have I said that is so unbelievable? That I'm happy in my job? Do I skip off to work every day. No. Do I enjoy having sex with men I don't want near me no. But it's a choice and its MY choice. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I certainly could earn as much.

Missymoo100 · 27/08/2017 14:19

Sophaclestge fox
So I have a question to the cheerleaders for porn as harmless fun, (got and missy I think, if you're still here?).
Please don't put me on this bandwagon, I'm not!
All I said was that porn isn't in itself a cause, that there must be something wrong with the man to search for more deviant forms. I don't think pornography is harmless, as I said in some of my other posts.
I was criticised yesterday because I said NAMALT sort of thing. Looking back I was a bit hot headed, but I do think that even though it wasn't intentioned to mean "all men" it can still be off putting to people interested in feminism who man bashing doesn't appeal, and some of the earlier comments seemed to carry that sentiment.

Alittlepotofrosie · 27/08/2017 14:24

If coin wanted to derail the thread, then she's done a marvellous job.

Back to the subject, pretty much all porn is harmful to society and extreme stuff like rape porn is even more so. The fact that some women choose to make porn and supposedly enjoy it doesnt negate the experience of thousands of women who are trafficked, coerced and forced and don't have a choice in the matter. Its very easy to find videos where a woman very much looks like she's actually being raped. Even if she consented then it doesn't really matter if the end product is giving the impression that women don't really mind being raped. Its still just as damaging.

But i don't believe personally that anyone who isn't damaged on some level can enjoy making the sort of porn that the man in the link accessed. Its terribly sad that for some women the choice to put food on the table involves being anally gangbanged and ending up in hospital, and even worse if she somehow believes she's making an empowered choice. This sort of thing normalises violence against women and if this is how our young men (and women) are learning about sex, they really don't stand a chance. I worry about what society will be like when my young children are teens. I think we are sadly a long way from it being unacceptable to buy a woman's body for your own sexual pleasure.

Missymoo100 · 27/08/2017 14:24

In fact on the contrary, I read somewhere but can't remember the source that viewing porn causes a reaction in the brain, repeated viewing then desensitizes the brain to that stimulus, therefore the viewer goes on to seek more deranged forms- sometimes happens in porn addiction. This maybe translates into actual sexual preference- ie the viewer then wants to do more deviant acts to get off because normal stuff doesn't just cut it anymore. So no I don't think porn is harmless and ive never said that. I do think the individual would have a propensity tho in the first place.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 27/08/2017 14:48

That makes sense. The porn is validating extreme thoughts which might otherwise have been kept only as thoughts.

The individual is seeing these being acted out- well , maybe it is not that bad and at the same time being encouraged to even more extreme thoughts.

There has been talk on this thread , as there always is when the subject comes up, of real jobs which are dangerous and difficult and "sex industry jobs".

One of the worst jobs in the world must be the one analysing porn to try to identify locations/ children.

It must be enormously rewarding when their efforts lead to the rescue of women and children but what horrors must they endure to get to that?