White women- it's all your fault

[WeldMeDaphne]

I will preface this by saying that I am indeed a white woman. And I realise this affords me a lot of privilege.
Among a lot of the rhetoric around the Events unfolding in the US (mostly Charlottesville), I've seen a number of open letters to white women about our complicity in the neo-nazi and white supremacist movement in the US and elsewhere. Clearly those women marching last week on the nazi side were white, but there was a lot of suggestion that those white women not marching but associated with men marching (wives girlfriends etc) were just as culpable as the men wielding torches and assault rifles. I guess I would like some help understanding how this is a white woman issue rather than the white men being responsible for their own actions? I get that one of those pieces said those men are going home to pie cooked by their doting wives but I just feel as though a man who holds those views and has no issue with demonstrating them publically is unlikely to be a caring loving husband?
I am fully prepared to listen to all view points and I totally understand that the people on these marches are white, but they're mostly men, right? Sonhow is this women's fault?

I could post about about my partners upbringing he's a good man but had a bad upbringing. You know what got him out of it and down the path of study was seeing how other families behave and thats when he started to work hard at school and then went to university. He has worked with people to get of drugs and alcohol addiction. He was born in a society that didn't want Blacks, Irish or dogs living in their accommodation.

It wasn't an easy start for him it was brutal he had to run away and see what it was like. If he had stayed he would have ended up ill like them.

The families across the road with their racist bullying antics. They wanted to intimidate us. One of the families son started throwing banana peels on his van and spitting food on it. He confronted him about that the look on his face was priceless.

Good families usually have at least one bad apple.

I have 4 children not on my watch angels have no pockets most of my money goes into educating my children. Showing my children love and empathy. Making sure they all get the same treatment and one is not favoured over the others.

Blaming the parents for the way adults turn out is ridiculous.

If they enable that behaviour then they are just as bad. If a mother was to give their adult child money for drugs are they not making them worse. I know its easier said than done but you cant enable bad behaviour if you don't believe in it yourself.

Blaming the parents for the way adults turn out is ridiculous

It's really not, most of the time. You raised them, who elses fault is it?

Who is denying this? I do however deny that what happened in Charlottesville has anything to do with me.
It could be true that you are not a racist. But what happened in Charlottesville is symptom of a bigger problem. It's one of those flare ups like herpes. Trump becoming president was part of the putting the foot down to make sure racism continues. All the random racist things that happen in America is not as random because they are from the same ideology and belief. Some differ to a degree but most are the same and the American system thrives on it.

But how do you know what happens in my workplace? I do find it perverse how all white women are put into your racist category simply because of the colour of their skin.
I apologies for lumping all white women and it was my carelessness while writing and not proof reading.

@MorrisZapp nope! Not getting lost. You will have to deal it.
I get shouted down regularly for poking my beak into cultures I don't understand. Women of colour all over the world are subjugated, oppressed and treated in some cases as mere property. But when I have an opinion about that I'm asked to butt out and stop judging the culture of others. By the women themselves.
Have you ever stopped and thought about why you were asked to butt out? Or maybe they were already annoyed by someone else who butted in the wrong way and you are being judged in the same way. If they said you don't understand the context, maybe, they meant it and it does happen and it could be true. If they said the best way to solve the issue would be different, that could be true too.

As long as another person does not butt in to say look at how well we have done with ours. You should let as us butt in and sort you out. By the way, I didn't pluck this out of thin air. I have come across it on feminist board.

@LassWiTheDelicateAir
Yes! A lot of people think racism is over because they can share some spaces with black people and they made Barack Obama president. The constant threads that where asking how could women vote trump stems from this belief that women should be able to see misogyny and vote against it. While forgetting the part racism played in all that election. With some white women standing side by side and seeing racism as bigger issue. The some of the people who asked "the why" where in denial of the racism or the magnitude in persuading decisions compared to misogyny. The some of the women probably don't even see the problem with misogyny but see what immigrants and black people are taking from their children.
Or maybe, the devil you know is better than the one you don't know.

Quencher, what would you like white feminists to do in order to address misogynoir?

what would you like white feminists to do in order to address misogynoir?

"White feminism needs to examine the way it has supported white supremacy and take corrective action" quote from website I will paste on this post "Feminism that does not include welcome, and respect women of color has no place in this world". Reading those two quotes why do you call it white feminism and not feminism.

Have a read of this:
everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/white-feminists-anti-racism/

That cartoon offers nothing in terms of what we can actually do to include woc, when we aren't actively excluding them anyway. Everyday feminism is the biggest crock of shit, a total trans fest and full of intersectional bollocks.

I won't accept the white feminist insult until someone can tell me what I've done - or failed to do - that makes me exclusionary or racist.

This thread is now longer about events in Charlottesville at all.

Children grow up with the accent of their peers, not their parents. The thought that you can control how your children turn out as adults is a fantasy. You ignore the role that society plays. Do you you believe that everyone in Nazi Germany was a bad person?
You can enable them to develop, you can guide and steer them. But you cant control them. Especially not as adults.

Right wing women are being recruited online by anti feminist propaganda, driven away by their rejection of liberal 'feminism' with its self loathing and guilt laden rhetoric.
www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544134546/the-women-behind-the-alt-right?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20170820

Here is an archived link
archive.is/Y6eJC

what would you like white feminists to do in order to address misogynoir? Simple, stop being racist. (It's not directed at you but general).

I know that some feminist are more likely to see and sympathies with issues affecting women of colour abroad because it's in your face and sometimes more shocking.
Also, I know that when it comes to bias against women of colour around you, it might be difficult to think beyond oneself and assume every body is being treated the same because the women in your circle or those you see on tv are doing ok. We all go to the same hospitals and school and taught the same curriculum which means we are all ok. Shut up and stop complaining there is men to fight. Look at the poor women abroad suffering from FGM. Blacking complaint about how they are represented or paid less becomes just a feminist issues rather than section of it with racism in tow clouding your judgment.

I also, think that asking me the question and me answering is probably to the wrong crowd. I would assume you are a better person than most and probably those who make efforts.

that makes me exclusionary or racist. You probably may never know because of It can be ingrained bias.

I also, think that you are not personally being attacked. It's a whole group doing it which is is being attacked.
Your way of think is another racial issue that could take whole thread to explain. Don't just look at your self and what you have done. You could be a drop in the ocean of racistness trying to do good and in the right way.

Everyone on this thread might be rightly complaining. But you are all looking at your selfies as individuals of model feminist.

If you look at all my threads in regards to black women. It has never been about I but the collective black woman. I have never seen it as an I problem but a we problem. Never about what I have done but we as group. Unless I was being petty.

There's nothing I can do then. I'll just ignore the articles as they are addressing racist people, not me or anyone I'm friendly with.

I don’t see color,” “All lives matter,” “Why do you have to make it about race?” This is one too f the worst phrases I always here spouted about by people who claim not to be racist.

This thread is now longer about events in Charlottesville at all. Yes it is. It's just part of a much bigger problem. It's symptom and no one is silencing you if that's what you are claiming. And if you can't see it the. You have a bigger problem on your hands.

This is one too f the worst phrases I always here spouted about by people who claim not to be racist. "One of the worst phrases I always hear" sorry was concentrating on something else while typing this.

#NotAllWhiteWomen.

what would you like white feminists to do in order to address misogynoir? Simple, stop being racist

Done. Wow, that was easy!

I'd like to know why american politics and race issues have anything to do with women half way around the world of any colour, to be honest.

I'd like to know why american politics and race issues have anything to do with women half way around the world of any colour, to be honest. Do you mean Europe? China, India, Asia in general, Australia, Africa as continent, south America as continent, the way women of colour are viewed by the media in general, Have huge guess, think of one common denominator if that helps.

Do you think that racism is the sole preserve of the United States, grandOle?

'This thread is now longer about events in Charlottesville at all. Yes it is. It's just part of a much bigger problem. It's symptom and no one is silencing you if that's what you are claiming. And if you can't see it the. You have a bigger problem on your hands.'

I'm aware that there is a much larger problem of racism, as I am sure we all are. Charlottesville is a symptom of wider racism, but it is also evidence of the existence of an extremist white supremacist group who are recruiting and organising over the internet.

I don't feel silenced at all. I'm just wondering why we are talking so little about that group, because I think they're not something like herpes that intermittently bubbles up to the service. They're a group that is growing fast among younger people.

I would just like to add it's not the role of women of colour to tell other how not to be racist.

I would just like to add it's not the role of women of colour to tell others how not to be racist

No, but the tone of several posts on here seems quite close to saying white women simply by existing are part of the problem. There has been quite a lot of lecturing at white women going on here.

There has been quite a lot of lecturing at white women going on here.

You know you sound like an MRA, right?

I've never heard an MRA say that.

MRAs love lecturing white women.

Do you think that racism is the sole preserve of the United States, grandOle?

Of course not. But when you are talking specifics, like red neck white supremacy in the US and then talking as if it is the responsibility of women in the UK or China or Italy or anywhere else, you've descended into nonsense.

James fields mother, a disabled victim of his dv, is repeatedly being blamed for his violence on sm. Even ms media reads as if she is at fault. A victim of his repeated violent attacks who reported him to the police and got no help. Yet she's responsible. A vulnerable, disabled woman guilty for the crimes of her son. In all the sm threads I've seen on this I've yet to see hate thrown his way, despite him being the violent murderer and abuser.

You're suggesting MRAs never get all indignant at women 'lecturing them' and holding them to account for the behaviour of other men??

This is simply, observably, NOT TRUE. There should be a word for this