People calling you love, sweetheart, etc.

[Ineedagoodusername]

This has annoyed me all my life and now at almost 40 it's still happening and I'm behind fed up. It's usually men. Anyone ever come up with a good retort? Got called sweetie by the fucking chef carving my meat in the carvery the other day. Was speechless! I'm short which seems to increase the likelihood of me being patronised.

@SummerKelly because I was a barmaid and if I just said 'yes', 'okay', 'anything else?' ... I get asked what's wrong or it comes across as rude/disinterested

And tbh I don't see it as overly personal because if my friends and I were addressing each other they'd be more likely to call me 'twatlord' ...

I can't even begin to imagine a scenario in which I walk into a pub I've never been into before and address the landlady/lord as, 'Hi, give us your best beer Twatlord!'

Pint of Twatlord sounds lovely.

I had a boss in his late 60s when I was about 30, who called me dear. I'm usually really arsey about that but I made an exception for him because it was kind of paternal and harmless. Anyone my own age calling me dear would be "et alive"!

Oh it is sooo feminine and Right to call other woman cunt... lol

This thread could be used in lecture about the class divide.

Moniker

Why does it matter to be feminine? My aim in life is to be feminine. Does the fact that I've grown and birthed 2 children make me feminine? Or my lactating breasts? Or the lack of of Y's in my chromosomes? Or the fact I have a vagina?

Cunt is an insult. A nasty one at that. It's also insulting to women that the worst swear word is our genitalia.

But I don't give a flying cunt if I'm feminine or not.

This thread could be used in lecture about the class divide.smile

Would you elaborate what you mean please?
Does a certain class prefer the endearments? If so which one?

Mamahanji words that We use to communicate with other people Say a lot about our education, background etc
So low and shallow ;-)

And what would you say my education and background is?

I don't have a problem with the word cunt. I do have a problem with someone saying something isn't 'feminine'. I think that is ridiculous. As if being feminine is important in life...

Bertrand- this morning, older male bus driver, to another man "ta love".
Honest! My married male friend who is very Yorkshire and not at all macho uses it to other men. Probably is more commonly used from men to women/ women to men/ women to women though.

Fair enough.

This thread is a rare case of " But men do it too".........!

Ha, I'm on team Mama. I'm middle class, Oxbridge educated, professional - I still swear like a fucking navvy on occasion. Being told I ought to be "feminine" might well give rise to one of those occasions! If that causes the Hyacinth Buckets of this world to have a fit of the vapours, well I can live with that.

I got called lovely in a restaurant in Barry a few weeks ago. I went to order food at the bar but the server (a young 20 something male) was serving someone else. After about 10 minutes (the guy in front took ages) the server says to me "You'll have to join the queue lovely" raising his voice at the end of the sentence. I look behind me and where earlier there was no-one there were about 15 people. I gave him the 'you're a cunt' look while biting my tounge to prevent the words 'call me lovely again and I will show you how lovely I can be. Cunty.' It was the smug condescending way he said it that irritated me.

Being Welsh I don't mind 'love' or 'butt', when its natural and unforced. Anything else is just annoying.

Men tend to call each other butt here, women mostly tend to call everyone 'love'. Although I call everyone 'butt' and I'm a woman.

Incidentally anyone who calls me 'hun' gets called Atilla or Ghengis and I make reference to the Golden Horde. Some people look at me puzzled so I forgive them their stupidity. The ones that do get it stop using the word around me.

I don't mind it at all. I do call people love though. It's very common where I grew up and is used when talking to men, women and children alike. My granddad used it for other men but this usage is dying off.

I love being called "love", it's very common up here in Yorkshire. Makes me feel all warm!

'butt' is another term of endearment?

Bill - Does it make you feel warm when someone younger than you, like your child's age calls you it too?

Does it make you feel warm and fuzzy when a man calls you "love" when you have a professional relationship? Or when he is selling you something? Or mending your car?

I don't mind it at all and even quite like it.

I probably wouldn't notice Bertrand. I have only ever told one person (a woman) off for calling me love but that was because of her tone of voice when she said it.

I really don't care who is saying it.. I've never been in the professional world though so might feel differently if I was. Round here it doesn't mean anything apart from being an affectionate term.

Yep don't mind at all if they're younger, selling me something, mending my car. I just like it!

Butt = mate, pal, friend, buddy. That sort of thing.