People calling you love, sweetheart, etc.

[Ineedagoodusername]

This has annoyed me all my life and now at almost 40 it's still happening and I'm behind fed up. It's usually men. Anyone ever come up with a good retort? Got called sweetie by the fucking chef carving my meat in the carvery the other day. Was speechless! I'm short which seems to increase the likelihood of me being patronised.

Beyond fed up not behind.

Just reply in the same vein

"Thanks honeybun"

Hate it. Not just from men. Young women do it, too. And worse, they do 'hun'. I'm not your 'hun', cunt.

Actually, as 'cunt' is my patronising endearment of choice, I might start responding with that to anyone who calls me 'love', 'lovie', 'dearie' etc

I'm not fond of it but will let it go if it ssems like it comes from a good place. The merest hint of condesention and I challenge it. Also at work, I expect people to use my name. And i am most definitely never a girl!

Does my head in. Really makes me twitch but have never found a good retort. I hate confrontation. I worry I'll come unstuck and then the sweetie/darling/love utterer will
Come away thinking they were in the right.

I really hate it.

If you call me love, I may keep an outwardly neutral expression but inside I'm shouting "Fuck off! I'm not your love!!!!"

Good call. I have no issue with using the word cunt. I've not noticed it lately from women but you are right. I have been tempted to say "what did you just call me?"

You could always respond with 'thanks, sonny'. Equally condescending.

I don't really care about that sort of thing at all. I am also guilty of calling my students such things as it seems to make them more relaxed and I can't always remember their names. This is to both males and females.

I did say "what did you just call me?" to someone answering a health service call the other day. He just pretended he hadn't heard the question, though he didn't call me love a second time. And he was already irritating me by misunderstanding what should have been a simple request. Some youngster in poundstretcher the other day called me sweetheart, which gave me the rage, but I also find it difficult to know how to respond.

There'll be someone along in a bit though probably that tells you that you are very lucky if this is all you have to worry about.

Haha! How would they possibly know thsts all I have to worry about! ;)

Next time I am going to say what did you just call me and when they say love or whatever it is I will respond and say "please dont".

I wonder whether saying it with an air of puzzlement as if it's just ridiculous rather than annoying would help you to feel better about it.

Though I read something the other day about "just say no" around sexual assault, and how actually culturally it's difficult to say a straight no to someone who invites you for a coffee or a family event or a child's play date that you don't want to go and you end up making all kinds of excuses rather than just saying no I don't want to to avoid hurting feelings or causing hassle, so no wonder it's difficult around sex. It just made me think my advice above came into that category rather than just saying straightforwardly please don't call me love.

Hate it. Not just from men. Young women do it, too. And worse, they do 'hun'. I'm not your 'hun', cunt.

Can't comprehend that level of aggression about another female calling you Hun. It's a national tic, there's no malice.

I'm a bit about some men using those terms. Some are definitely being friendly and there's clearly nothing else behind it it's just how they learned to chat, and some are being creepy and or patronising.

Yes Gina especially older men. It's creepy and patronising and leery. Feels like they are putting me in my place.

The young assistants in my local Costa all say love, hun, sweetheart when asking what you want or giving you your change.

I think they've been told by management to do it as it seems so contrived! Drives me mad.

" what can I get for you darling? " fuck off

Not keen on it, but it really does depend on the situation. It's extremely common in shops whether the person is male or female and, unless they are a bit sleazy with it (sometimes they are!) I don't mind too much.
It happens to men too - DH came back from a shop recently, laughing that the young woman serving him had called him sweetheart, poppet, my love, and a couple of others all in a short space of time.

Thing is I've never felt the need to call anyone anything like that. Dont even call my kids names like that.

I usually just add on what they've called me to my response - they call me 'love', I call them 'love'. I use this when telling security guards i'm in charge of what to do. Though I think I might change it to 'sonny' now

I'm not fond of it but will let it go if it ssems like it comes from a good place.

Yup. If it doesn't, I tend to say, My name is Mary, please address me as Mary. Usually works.

I don't mind doll/hen/pal unless it sounds patronising but I generally don't like anything else. Never challenged it though!

I do think it depends which part of the country you're from. I'm from Yorkshire so very used to 'love'. I use it and don't mind being addressed by a fellow northerner.
However, my husband is southern and when he uses it it sounds awful!

Where in the country are you?

Everyone here (north of England) is 'love' and it's used by and to men and women alike.

I like it. It doesn't even register, tbh.

X-post with bigfans I'm Yorkshire, also.