Son not welcome at sewing workshop

[Cheryl39]

Just tried to sign up for me, my 16 year old daughter and 18 year old son to join a one day sewing workshop and the tutor was very unwelcoming about my son joining. She said the workshops are mainly attended by women and the group as a whole might be uncomfortable talking about women's issues with a young man present. I feel really sad about this and so have not signed up.....is the tutor being discriminatory......what are your thoughts?

I'd have to google knitting things though so id know what a hard knitting this was.

Maybe if I take a lot of interest in women's issues, order some magazines, post some comments I'll get approached and asked I want to knit 1 purl 1?

Not going to lie I got an offensive old lady catalog with bra strap adjusters, magnifying glasses and tools to help you get a bracelet on and threw it straight in the recycling. Was that my invite?

It wasn't a stitch and bitch feminist sewing class was it?

The sad thing is that not allowing men into a sewing group will perpetuate gender stereotypes. The message will come across that sewing is only for women. And that is a problem.

Personally I wouldn't worry about hobby groups being all female spaces. Bathrooms, changing rooms, hospital wards, I can see some argument for. Although I think, personally, would feel safer with , good quality unisex spaces, in terms of allowing personal privacy, unisex spaces. Women only spaces can sometimes feel more unsafe if a place is almost deserted. I'd rather have more people around, generally, than a separate space for women. I prefer family friendly changing areas to female only ones for example.

Lurkedforever1 what are you talking about.....no body is suggesting that ....but if you want to attend beauty salons and wear pretty dresses then that's great.... I regard myself as a feminist perhaps a very gentle one with a different approach than yourself. I find your comments dissmissive and don't think you have added anything of value to this thread.

That might have been it noni

Just for the record i am not touching anyones penis if i can help it

With the exception of dh and A he isnt a mysogynist and B I'm not keen on touching his at the best of times

Shame you mentioned need his name. I wonder what would have happened if you'd just booked the course for three people and then turned up? Surely the course organiser wouldn't be able to turn someone away?

Don't know why 'need' randomly appeared in my first sentence...

Today 19:03 Enidblyton1

Don't know why 'need' randomly appeared in my first sentence...

That'll be your lady brain.

cheryl I'm on about your suggestions to be gentle and sensitive. I fail to see the logic, or indeed the feminism, behind the idea we should behave in a way that feeds into gender stereotypes to win people over to feminism.

noni it was indeed. It contained the special arms length penis removal tool, which you then needed to pass on to rufus.

Cheryl - sorry if you've already answered, but have you said how the group was actually advertised?

Did it say 'Women's Sewing Course' or just 'Sewing Course'.

I kind of think that's the point here rather than whether men are welcome in feminism etc.

toosexy it's not just dv, as said already it is hugely important so otherwise isolated members of some ethnic minorities can attend

This still doesn't make sense. What is about a sewing class that makes it important to be women only to "isolated members of some ethnic minorities can attend"?
And why this sewing class, and why not any other activity you can think of?
That's pure bullshit I'm afraid.

Men want access to the PRIVATE SPACES WHERE WOMEN JUST TALK AMONG THEMSELVES

I actually find it really fucking offensive that you think "sewing classes" is one of those private spaces. How fucking stereotypical can you be?

Little ladies doing their little sewing classes talking about vaginas. Fuck off!

Too sexy - we have some groups near us (east London) which are aimed at Muslim women who have little English and little opportunity for interaction outside the home. It's usually things like quilt making and cookery.

I think the idea is that these are things that they'll feel comfortable taking part in and are more likely to attend.

Thats entirely different. Thats a great thing.

This isn't that.

OP, is it a paid workshop and was it advertised as women only?

What exactly is the issue you have with it? Bare in mind that things like girl guides and the WI - places where women could traditionally expect to have womens' only spaces are disappearing by being forced to be inclusive of men I thought it was Scouts that were now for boys and girls and Guides was just for girls? I used to run a Cubs group but might be a bit out of date. The Brownies used to moan that we were "pinching" their girls, as if we went out and kidnapped them.

Can we stop conflating like 6 problems into one?

Men stealing space from women: big problem.

Refusing entry to commercial spaces for no good reason does not solve that problem in anyway. It's not even related. Not anything vaguely feminine counts as a womens space, and the fact that you count it as one is stereotyping and offensive. Aren't we a bit past the sewing = girls thing?

So, OP, is your son going to go to this workshop or not?

Did you speak to the workshop organiser to see what could be done?

Are there other alternative workshops for him with a less rigorous entrance policy?

Because I am very much getting the sense that something in this thread is being made out of whole cloth. That would be a good sewing class

Before I retired I was head of HR in a local company. For anyone who thinks men aren't uncomfortable in predominantly female groups I can't agree. We had one particularly handsome young man who ended up in tears as he complained about the inappropriate remarks and touching and how he was supposed to take it all as a laugh. No one would have thought one of his female colleagues should have put up with it. You would be surprised at some of the senior, well educated women who were complained about.

Toosexy- bingo

The class was advertised as a one day sewing workshop....that's all. He wasn't trying to attend a women's only group.

Lurkedforever1...I was asked by someone else for an opinion on how to get more people involved in feminism and my answer was not referring to women only.....I believe PEOPLE are more likely to join and contribute to campaigns when others don't go straight for their jugular..or dismiss their opinions by twisting their words or by being glib. Listening to others, welcoming debate, and being less aggressive in the way we reply to people is respectful and tolerant. It is not a feeble approach nor are qualities of gentleness and sensitivity just attributes of women. Feminism can surely benefit from people that want to fight and challenge others and from people that like men, don't see them as the enemy and want to work with them.

This thread is utterly ludicrous. It's like every vacuous criticism of feminism packed into a condensed form, with signature excessive ellipsis use.

Feminism can surely benefit from people that want to fight and challenge others

Can you clarify this? Who are these others?

It's not meant to be a trick question, to be honest. I'd just like to know, in terms of actual behaviour, what exactly you are fighting?

I find this abstract notion of feminism a little difficult, sometimes.

What specifically, OP, would you say your top three priorities are, in terms of feminism?

This thread is utterly ludicrous. It's like every vacuous criticism of feminism packed into a condensed form, with signature excessive ellipsis use

This thread is also ridiculous in that so many posters seemed incapable of taking on board the OP was referring to a commercial , one day, sewing workshop and turned the discussion into men invading women's spaces.

For those of you who have managed to insert casual ageism into this conversation,

stop that.