Should I complain to the school?

[junerat]

My DD4 is due to start school in September. It is a brand new school - her year will be the first ever reception class, and I'm really excited about helping to "build the ethos" of a whole new school. I really, very much want to be an active part of her school community, not just someone who moans!

I am also very sensitive to feminist issues, and my DD is too - she will always notice when there aren't enough female characters in a book, for example.

We have just been sent the induction packs for her new school. They have a house system, with the four houses named after local famous historical figures. Every single one of the four houses is named after a man.

I sort of understand (but still hate) it when a school has been established for x number of years and has a patriarchal system, but this a brand new school, and they seem not to have taken the opportunity to start off on an equal footing.

When I met the headmaster, I mentioned to him that the "girls' uniform" didn't include trousers, was my daughter welcome to wear them? He was fine and flexible with this, so I do think he's a reasonable person. Though it is a part of an academy trust, so very, very likely not his decision re: house names.

It may be too late to change the names of the houses (literature has already been printed), but if it is an academy trust, could speaking up stop this from happening at the next school that opens?

My husband thinks I'm talking absolute nonsense and it's a total non-issue, but I hate that my daughter will see four male "role models" as the pillars of the school, and not even a nod to the (very eminent) female historical figures from this area.

I categorically do not want to forge a poor relationship with this school though and do not want to become "that parent". Any thoughts?

Bollocks is exactly the word I was going to use too. He specifically said he wanted to use less well known figures who were born in the county, then justified including a man born outside the county on the grounds that he's very famous! Er...

I am not going to leak this to the press. I don't think (sadly) they'd be interested, and I am 92% sure that I am the only parent who cares about this locally, so it would be bloody obvious who had leaked it.

I do like the angle of "protecting them from future accusations of gender bias", but I'm not sure I can ask again for them to change the house names without becoming "that parent".

I will draft a reply where I point to the studies showing young girls think of themselves as inferior, plus the one showing how few female characters are represented in children's literature (if I can find it), and urge them to reflect on their own unconscious bias, and to communicate some solid steps that show women in successful leadership and entrepreneurial roles.

I can't contact anyone else at the school as there is only one central email address currently. He refers to it being a "staff decision", and the two teachers in situ at the moment are both female, so conscious he might take the line "the other women were happy with it so...".

Why not suggest that a great school project would be to research important local women? The children could then choose the house names (from a vetted list of options to avoid Boaty McBoatface or them choosing a serial killer ).

Would it be an option to have two names per colour? Like Boys Red is called XYZ and Girls Red is called ? That's what they did at my school (well, all the names were men, but house names for boys and girls were different).

It's fantastic you challenged this and are thinking of how to tackle it going forward junerat. I think the idea of suggesting pupils study some inspiring women, local and beyond, would be a good one given they're unlikely to change the house names now (not that I think they've given acceptable reasons). It would be something if this could be used as an opportunity to study women who've excelled in fields beyond those often known of - Ada Lovelace, Hedy Lemarr, Rosalind Franklin, Amy Johnson, Eileen Nearne and many others.

TooDamnSarky it's reassuring to hear of the governing body at the school you're a governor at and thanks for the link on Florence Nightingale!

The reply is a let down.
It says they can bend the rules for a man
And we will be studying the national curriculum (every school does Flo and Mary)

May I suggest Dorothy Hodgkin - I can never quite understand why people remember poor Rosalind Franklin, cheated out of her Nobel by death (and had she lived, quite possibly by sexism) but forget the woman who did get a Nobel in the same field and had a long and successful career, inspiring many other female scientists (well, and men too).

Well done junerat, but how frustrating.

I almost worry more about the impact this sort of thing has on the boys. It's shit for the girls, but the message it sends to boys is even more insidious.

I definitely would follow up, even if it is in the knowledge that nothing might change.

I would stress that this is an opportunity to ensure gender equality is properly considered in all future decisions, whether curriculum-related, or not.

And yes, good thing you didn't post this in chat - you'd have been told you were 'over thinking' it, by the perennial under-thinkers!

I think you have been fantastic to tackle it. And this stuff DOES matter.

I wrote to my DD's teacher this week pointing out the incorrect use of the word vagina (instead of vulva) in SRE and have been fobbed off. Trying to decide what to do next.

I too think you've done a great job OP. You sound rational and logical (whilst remaining inwardly infuriated).

And I may be wrong, but this could really work to your advantage. If you can get them to spend time and resources investing in the achievements of women, you have made a brilliant mark.

Right, here's my draft reply. Comments and suggestions please. I wanted to get something in there about potentially changing the criteria if the current criteria didn't throw up any women, but I couldn't quite get the wording right.

I also wondered if it would strengthen my point if I mentioned that I am of the same ethnic/religious heritage that was especially included for, and yet would still rather he was excluded in favour of a woman, but I am atheist and do not observe any cultural practice of this heritage, so it would feel a bit insincere.

Dear headteacher

Thank you for taking the time out of what must be such an exceptionally busy time to provide such a thorough answer to my query.

I am sure you can understand that I am still disappointed that women have been omitted entirely from the house system; with 50% of your intake being female, it is sad that they are not able to see a single role model who looks like them, let alone the 50% it should be.

I understand it can be more challenging to find female historical figures - particularly those with a local connection - but this a symptom of the very problem I'm raising - that women are often omitted from history. I see it very much as our generation's responsibility to right those wrongs and ensure that we start every new venture on an absolutely equal footing. I note from your well-researched email that you have "bent the rules" to include ; it is a shame this could not have been done to include one, or both women (or indeed others) to provide a more balanced house system.

I apologise if this seems like a storm in a teacup, but I am sure you are aware of the studies that show that even by age six, girls consider themselves to be inferior to boys, and how children's literature relegates leading female characters to a mere 31%. (I have provided hyperlinks to these studies within the email) Girls are systematically being cast as secondary characters, not leading roles, and this absolutely does reflect on their ambitions.

Of course I understand reluctance to change house names once they have been communicated to parents, but I would relish any opportunity to work with the school in future to ensure gender equality is properly considered in all school decisions. I genuinely would like to help, rather than to sit on the sidelines, moaning.

Kind regards

Junerat

I think it's great but would be even better with a couple of suggestions of suitable local women. Can Google help?

Well done though. The final paragraph is particularly good

I applaud that. The only thing I might add is the suggestion upthread that girls and boys have different house names.

I will have a ponder about the criteria sentence. Perhaps something like:

If the criteria of being county-based didn't provide suitable women, it might be more inclusive to change the criteria rather than end up with an entirely male shortlist.

I think it's great but I would tweak the last paragraph; I really don't think it's too late to change the house names.

Very good, you might also mention that girls' self esteem peaks at aged 9. And maybe suggest that if there are no women to be found to fit the category then surely a different category (you might suggest one) should be thought of.

Do they have class names yet? Might a compromise be to name the year groups after women and the houses after men. Sadly that would end up with 7 women against 4 men .

Your reply is excellent. I wouldn't be able to resist including:

I'm surprised and saddened to hear that you were unable to find any women at all who were born or strongly associated with who became famous in their own way.

Excellent. The only 2 things I would change is take out the word moaning at the end. You're not moaning you're pointing out a deficiency they should be delighted to know about.

And I would replace this:

I apologise if this seems like a storm in a teacup,

With something like:

it's a shame these things are perceived as an unimportant, but...

Do not apologise. You can acknowledge how these things might be seen as trivial, without ever buying in to that viewpoint.

• sorry I don't know where that 'an' came from

Or better yet

It's unsurprising that these things are perceived as important when I'm sure you know that... studies show that even by aged six...

Thank you all - opinions noted and incorporated. I wanted to get "unconscious bias" in there somewhere too but haven't managed it yet. Suggestions gratefully received!

I thought the idea of different house names for boys and girls was interesting but ultimately discourages boys from looking up to women, so it wouldn't be my first choice.

I am going to sleep on it tonight and have a final read through before sending tomorrow morning.

Datun I'm coming to you next time I need a letter writing!

I'm pondering whether you ought to point out that he is conflating gender and sex in his reply to you...

I thought the idea of different house names for boys and girls was interesting but ultimately discourages boys from looking up to women, so it wouldn't be my first choice.

If that meant different houses, it'd be too 'othering' and wouldn't work if sports etc were house-based.

Don't say this:

"it is a shame this could not have been done to include one"

Say:

it is a shame this could not have been done I think that this could instead be done to include one or both women (or indeed others) to provide a more balanced house system.

And for heaven's sake stop apologizing!

I apologise if this seems like a storm in a teacup, but I am sure you are aware of the studies that show that even by age six, girls consider themselves to be inferior to boys,

Of course I understand reluctance to change house names once they have been communicated to parents, but I would relish any opportunity to work with the school in future to ensure gender equality is properly considered in all school decisions.[End of letter] I genuinely would like to help, rather than to sit on the sidelines, moaning.

It is not too late. It's only a few bits of paper that will need changing. And you are not making a fuss about nothing.

But frankly I think it's going to be a long seven years. Is it possible to decline the place and reapply to another, less Victorian, school next year?