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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Men bashing

512 replies

PirateQueenie · 01/05/2017 14:57

Hi all,

I don't have a real purpose to this thread other than to just voice my confusion and possibly hear some other opinions.

I would identify as feminist - although for want of a better word, I would rather say I'm an egalitarian. I enjoy reading these threads, and comment on some. But what really disheartens me is all the man-bashing Ive seen. I have a male partner who is my world ♥ wonderful male friends and family members, and when I read some of the things on here I can't help but feel very defensive of the men in my life.

Is this the new wave of feminism? Or am I missing something? When I was growing up (with my mum as an avid feminist), I never heard "men this" or "men that" it was always about how women can strengthen and empower themselves WITHOUT putting men down.

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 02/05/2017 13:06

I think I posted this elsewhere, but have you seen what Joe Biden has to say about locker room banter and college campus rape?

vesuvia · 02/05/2017 13:16

OP wrote - "I would identify as feminist - although for want of a better word, I would rather say I'm an egalitarian."

Has it been proved that egalitarians never engage in "man bashing"?

Railgunner1 · 02/05/2017 13:25

i don't hate men.
however, i don't think they are our meaning of life.
and since being a woman means you're almost always on a losing side in life, i really have no time thinking that me doing/speaking something 'hurt poor men's feelings' Hmm

Datun · 02/05/2017 14:23

Brilliant thread. So many considered and intelligent answers from informed women.

It was the wholly consistent and sheer clarity of the feminism boards that made me start to see the negative behaviour, attitude and viewpoint that links a lot of men together, and makes it stop being about 'people'.

And the poster who said once you see it, you can't unsee it was absolutely right. Once you let that filter work, everything is seen through a different lens.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 02/05/2017 15:03

Yes, Datun, I'm always heartened by the sense and intelligence of FWR. I'm often struck by how a combination of different insights creates a truly amazing critique of the topic at hand. We are greater than the sum of our parts.

Elendon · 02/05/2017 15:10

You're welcome GuardianLions.

I also agree with the poster who said that once you see it you can't unsee it. So, if you don't want to go there, stay in your corner and keep the rose tinted lens on.

Elendon · 02/05/2017 15:32

If you're anti porn or not comfortable with it, and want to explore that reason why more then Rage Against the Manchine is a great blog to read.

I'll leave this link here because I think all young women especially should read it.

rageagainstthemanchine.com/2008/04/12/why-porn-isnt-cool-3-real-people-have-feelings/

ssd · 02/05/2017 15:38

I totally agree op

DJBaggySmalls · 02/05/2017 15:41

But neither OP or ssd can give any concrete examples of man bashing. or refute the comment about how this thread is woman bashing.

enoughisenough12 · 02/05/2017 15:51

A great thread and thank you for all the thoughtful comments on this thread. I'm a much older feminist - I originally read Dworkin in my 20s and she was an inspiring woman who challenged our thinking. It was so exciting to be a feminist in the 70s and 80s - there was a real sense of 'smashing the patriarchy' and yes, I had the dungarees and Doc Martens (in pink Grin ) covering my hairy legs!

WellErrr · 02/05/2017 16:12

ssd can you give us any examples?

If it's as rife as you seem to think, that shouldn't be too hard.

GuardianLions · 02/05/2017 16:13

Star enough
Sorry for being tangential - but I notice that Andrea Dworkin still seems to be jumped on straight away by the blokes even now... I just noticed that in this thread and another on the go, males want to swiftly cast her as dangerous and beyond the pale, lest some feminist might have their eyes opened and see their structural oppression in all its shiny glory!!! Shock! Horror!

I wonder what terrifies them more, these men - the idea of women not shaving our legs or women thinking critically about piv? Because whatever it is, they don't miss a beat to try and put women off from reading her.....

sillage · 02/05/2017 16:20

"I Blame The Patriarchy...A website that banned men from posting irrespective of their views. Ahh dear old Twisty. Ho Ho"

There were regular male posters at IBTP, cadnowyllt.

Perhaps Twisty banned you because you have a tendency to shove your head up your dickhole when speaking to feminists?

cadnowyllt · 02/05/2017 16:31

Sillage

I never posted there or tried to. As far as I could make out, male posters were blocked as soon as their sex was revealed. However, I didn't visit the website all that often.

cadnowyllt · 02/05/2017 16:39

Sillage

Here's some text taken from IBTP....

"Dudes make lousy feminists. Therefore, by popular demand, this blog endeavors to cultivate dude-free discourse. Any comment that expresses views proceeding from any discernible male-identified perspective, even if it is superficially pro-feminist, is not suitable for posting here. Generally speaking, this means:

If you’re a dude, don’t post here.

Don’t use the comments section either to ask feminists to explain feminism to you, or to explain feminism to feminists, or to explain anything to anybody. The Unique Male Experience of Patriarchy is not an appropriate topic, so don’t be this guy.
By the way, this blog doesn’t care if this policy pissed you off. You’re obviously an asshole."

sillage · 02/05/2017 16:39

Then maybe you should shut the fuck up about things you don't know anything about. Like feminism.

cadnowyllt · 02/05/2017 16:43

Feminism ? - I never write about Feminism.

sillage · 02/05/2017 16:50

Sounds like good wisdom to fend off masturbators like you.

And yet, a few rare male posters like norbizness were welcome there for years because he didn't shove his head up his dickhole before conversing with feminists.

cadnowyllt · 02/05/2017 16:51

Looks like someone is in need of their afternoon nap.

sillage · 02/05/2017 16:56

yawn

You, like far too many narcissistic men, think you drop witty one-liners but they're just trite, rehashed turds.

Xenophile · 02/05/2017 17:04

ssd

Have you found examples yet of man bashing? Or is this yet another thread where you come along and make a disparaging comment about this part of the forum and then fuck off until next time?

Xenophile · 02/05/2017 17:05

sillage

Twisty sounds like someone I'd like to be better acquainted with. Thanks for 'introducing' here Grin

WellErrr · 02/05/2017 17:34

OP - cadno is about to give a masterclass, so pay attention.

Men like him don't like it when women get together and discuss things that make them uncomfortable. So they push in, undermine, insult and derail.

For some reason, women who don't hold men as the centre of their universe really get up the noses of people like him Wink Grin

birdbandit · 02/05/2017 17:39

I think what you are experiencing is called internalised misogyny. Where you feel uncomfortable about women speaking out against men.

You say you know some good 'uns, so talking about men as a collective, like the Borg or something isn't correct. But you just did just that, the individual comments on the treads don't represent a singular thought we all share.

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