Men bashing

[PirateQueenie]

Hi all,

I don't have a real purpose to this thread other than to just voice my confusion and possibly hear some other opinions.

I would identify as feminist - although for want of a better word, I would rather say I'm an egalitarian. I enjoy reading these threads, and comment on some. But what really disheartens me is all the man-bashing Ive seen. I have a male partner who is my world ♥ wonderful male friends and family members, and when I read some of the things on here I can't help but feel very defensive of the men in my life.

Is this the new wave of feminism? Or am I missing something? When I was growing up (with my mum as an avid feminist), I never heard "men this" or "men that" it was always about how women can strengthen and empower themselves WITHOUT putting men down.

No one frikking ever says that. The absence of NAMALT after every single sentence does not mean ALL men,down to the very last one.

NoLoveofMine that seems fair, if he gets beaten up, put in hospital or stabbed to death I should be happy he was a feminist to the end.

But you'd be happy to have a sister,friend,daughter,coworker beaten up,put in hospital or killed because men can't be arsed to challenge patriarchy and misogynistic behaviour?

I really can't see where people have said "all men" repeatedly on this thread.

PrincessLeia80 clearly your DH should make a judgement about his personal safety before challenging anyone.

NoLoveofMine that seems fair, if he gets beaten up, put in hospital or stabbed to death I should be happy he was a feminist to the end.

Yeah. I never run any kind of risk just walking down the street answering back to street harassment, your poor husband might get beaten up for telling another man he's sexist.

Exactly Rebel. Women have been beaten up for just ignoring street harassment, but poor men are at risk for challenging misogyny, apparently.

RebelRogue yes I'd rather have my daughters grow up with a loving father than someone I've never met be abused, selfish yes so feel free to abuse me! Also I've not seen a long list of women sticking up for Martyn Brown who's case was the reason I responded to this thread.

I've not seen any list of men standing up for the rampant misogyny, rape, sexual harassment, sexual assault that women and girls put up with daily. Tell your husband to work on that, yeah?

Princess 2 (ish) women a WEEK die at the hands of their partner or ex.

PrincessLeia80

Maybe it's not clear, but when ever anyone on these threads talks about men, it's a gimme that they're not talking about all men. There's even an acronym as it's so widely known, NAMALT - 'not all men are like that'.

It's just assumed. It takes too long otherwise to preface each and every comment with the acronym.

Ok well he'll start with his name, but he's unsure how he should go about getting others to add to the list? Should he go house to house, advertise in the local paper or walk through town wearing a sandwich board?

Any of those options would be better than whining "not all men".

Leia i get it now. "good" men don't know what to do,and in reality it's impossible for them to speak out/fight against patriarchy and misogyny. Poor men,poor your husband.

It is so hard for men. They are the real victims of misogyny - the poor good men don't know how to show they're good men. We doubt them, other men beat them up :(

We should all speak out about patriarchy the definition of which is a system of government in which men hold the power, maybe Theresa May could do speech! I misunderstood this thread and stook up for my husband who I see as a decent person but clearly I'm wrong. As he hasn't been killed defending females or spent his free time protesting for our rights he should be imprisoned as a potential abuser.

" I misunderstood this thread and stook up for my husband who I see as a decent person but clearly I'm wrong. As he hasn't been killed defending females or spent his free time protesting for our rights he should be imprisoned as a potential abuser"

I am sure your husband is a decent person. What does he do to challenge other men about their misogeny?

Theresa May may be PM currently, but there are only 30% or so of MPs that are women, and the numbers have never been higher than this. The percentage is similar for local govt, for the Scottish and Welsh assemblies, for MEPs and the House of Lords. Internationally women make up around 9% of President/Prime Ministers of the 193 UN member countries. Now, remind me how this means that men don't hold power?

Where he's aware of it he will protested to an extent. He has challenged someone where he felt they were being abusive but I've also seen him walk away when potentially threatened.

I wish women had the luxury of walking away when we feel threatened.

If men were to stop being so aggressive would that lead to an increase in female aggression?

I'm completely boggled by this. What point is this making?

If men were to stop being so aggressive would that lead to an increase in female aggression

Several times I've seen people, mostly men, who say that if we had a matriarchy, women would abuse their power in the same way that men do under a patriarchy.

But as I understand it, oppression isn't done for the sake of it. It's done to extract something from the oppressed. So men extract emotional, reproductive and sexual labour from women.

What keeps it going are the gainz.

Which would mean women would have to be motivated by what they can extract from men.

And I don't mean to be detrimental to men, but I'm wondering what those gains would, or could, be?

As he hasn't been killed defending females or spent his free time protesting for our rights he should be imprisoned as a potential abuser.

Today 00:04 PrincessLeia80

NoLoveofMine that seems fair, if he gets beaten up, put in hospital or stabbed to death I should be happy he was a feminist to the end.

Princess, I'm not sure why you have taken this to such an extreme. No one has suggested that your husband tools up and sets forth as some kind of vigilante.

Just calling out sexist comments/jibes when he's in the pub with his friends. Giving a cool reaction to sexist jokes.

It's not difficult to become known as one of those men who isn't impressed by that sort of banter.

Being aware of inequality in his job, especially if he is in a position of authority.

Simply being aware of inequality will often just inform the way you behave around others.

calling out sexist comments/jibes

Exactly stuff like this. The "little" things are hugely important. When his friends say stuff like "typical woman" etc my DP will now say "what do you mean by that?"

Too few men are willing to risk ridicule by doing this sort of thing.

But it's going to take a smidge more than lip service and echo chambers

newdaddie, if you genuinely believe you are a feminist ally, what does this comment mean?

and as for only picking up in your comments about prostitution, by all means let's go back to your little listicle and work through it. what would you like to discuss instead? which part of the echo chamber do you think would benefit from your clarity? how about your minimising of the gendered nature of domestic violence?

Call out other men on their sexist language/attitudes
Yes women too
Stop hitting women
Yes women shouldn't hit men either

(in your original post, there are strikerhroughs which haven't reproduced in the copy/paste, which makes it look a little more overt, but i'm not a fan of the Pa strike through so I haven't manually put it back in).

if you want to be a feminist ally, then honestly, you have some way to go. Perhaps you care about that, perhaps you don't. I don't know.

Exactly stuff like this. The "little" things are hugely important. When his friends say stuff like "typical woman" etc my DP will now say "what do you mean by that?"

YY.