Men bashing

[PirateQueenie]

Hi all,

I don't have a real purpose to this thread other than to just voice my confusion and possibly hear some other opinions.

I would identify as feminist - although for want of a better word, I would rather say I'm an egalitarian. I enjoy reading these threads, and comment on some. But what really disheartens me is all the man-bashing Ive seen. I have a male partner who is my world ♥ wonderful male friends and family members, and when I read some of the things on here I can't help but feel very defensive of the men in my life.

Is this the new wave of feminism? Or am I missing something? When I was growing up (with my mum as an avid feminist), I never heard "men this" or "men that" it was always about how women can strengthen and empower themselves WITHOUT putting men down.

Once again we are talking about prostitution rather than, say, domestic violence.......

There is, it's called Tinder, Affair sites, and most online dating sites. Heterosexual women can get all the free sex they want. It's the men who have to do the hard work, which is why they prefer to pay prostitutes, easy and simple. The problem is that most women go on online dating to find a partner/soulmate; most don't want a soulless sexual encounter.

Therein lies the problem with a barter economy for sex. If men don't want commitment and women don't want soulless sex, then what bridges the gap?

Money should bridge the gap like it does for most things but because we're told that it's immoral what happens instead is lies, deceit, betrayal and abuse bridges the gap.

So. About domestic violence.

Society saying sex is immoral contributes to prostitutes PTSD. I strongly believe that if the societal shame of sex is removed there would be far less prostitute PTSD.

Coercion into the act is more likely to contribute to a sense of PTSD. If there is ever a society in which the balance of power is equal between men and women, rich and poor then, and only then, you might have some case for commercial prostitution as a free and equal exchange.

Lets focus on getting that society and then pick up the subject of commercial sex at that point shall we?

newdaddie there was absolutely nothing in my post that justifies your snarky'unless you are anti sex' comment.
Women dont tun to porn and prostitution because they like sex.

In reality, legalising sex does not work. The fact you cant be bothered to look at the links to PTSD, trafficking and child abuse shows you are not an ally to women.
You are not a nice guy, you dont want to know the reality, you just want the fantasy.

"Unless you think sex itself is intrinsically bad and immoral?"

I certainly think men buying consent is intrinsically bad and immoral...

Anyway. About those 2 women a week killed by their partners..........

Wholistically legalising commercial sex is good imo. Unless you think sex itself is intrinsically bad and immoral?

Oh fgs - can you not see the difference between concensual sex freely entered into and sex only entered into if paid for?

Society saying sex is immoral contributes to prostitutes PTSD

Western society does not say sex is immoral- very far from it. Sex is not immoral if engaged in freely by consenting adults who are not cheating on people they have made a commitment too. I could not care less who or what or how many the partiipants are.

I think it is punters who contribute to prostitutes feeling bad.

I certainly think men buying consent is intrinsically bad and immoral...

A pithier reply than mine.

Once again we are talking about prostitution rather than, say, domestic violence.......

I know. I would say "why does it always come back to that?", but...meh. I know why.

I just feel like I've had too many editions of "men explain the need for prostitution to feminists" for this week - can we have a quota, cause I might be able to deal better with it then.

I just feel like I've had too many editions of "men explain the need for prostitution to feminists" for this week - can we have a quota, cause I might be able to deal better with it then

Especially when followed by "and if you don't agree you are narrow minded anti-sex puritans"

Oh fgs - can you not see the difference between concensual sex freely entered into and sex only entered into if paid for?

The answer to that is clearly no. Many men don't see the difference.

newdaddie, if you have to pay someone to have sex with you, they're not consenting. You're paying them to waive their consent. The money is a proxy for consent.

Most nice man certainly understand the evils of prostitution. That's why they spend so long trying to invent a world where you can have as many prostitutes as you like, conscience free.

Society saying sex is immoral contributes to prostitutes PTSD. I strongly believe that if the societal shame of sex is removed there would be far less prostitute PTSD.

As a former prostitute in a country where it is legal: this is total bollocks. Sex being considered immoral (or not) has nothing to do with post traumatic stress disorder. The trauma inflicted by (and while) being used as an object by the "clients" would be what causes that.

If men don't want commitment and women don't want soulless sex, then what bridges the gap?

For men (and women) to be upfront when they don't want commitment, so when men have soulless sex with women it is because those women also want soulless sex with them.
If no women want soulless sex with a man, he can have soulless sex with other men.

Additionally women and men who do want commitment can carry on getting together with each other.

This way women don't need to be mistreated and used by males who have the urge to treat other people as sex objects.

Oh, bloody hell, we're going to be accused of "piling in" or sneering" or "bullying" in a minute, aren't we?

Or man bashing.

Another thing - I always get the creeps when you can tell a bloke is starting to get turned on - euologising his own titan sex drive and how the only part of himself he could distribute as freely as his jiz is his spare change.

Is that a gold star feminist ally? "I have only ever shagged feminists."

Too true!

What is the biological aversion? Is it because before contraception, every time we had sex we would get pregnant?

There was a risk of pregnancy every time. And obviously pregnancy and labour come with risks for a woman including death, and along with breastfeeding and motherhood they increase vulnerability, and of course raising a child is a huge commitment and restriction on a woman's freedom. So the female biological imperative is to only have sex where there is 'chemistry' ie- complimentary antibodies = healthy child, he is strong and healthy/intelligent/resourceful = good genes. This means women are biologically driven to be picky - unlike men.

I figure any man who needs explaining to him why prostitution is a bad thing is a very long way away from becoming a feminist ally.

Scrumple - thanks for saying that! I was trying to come up with a way of explaining this, but you've done it so much more succinctly, and from a position of experience. And for what you've been through.

newdaddie It's men though who put societal shame on sex and they do it via women. Women are Madonnas (like your wife newdaddie) or for paying for it. There is no inbetween? Have you no imagination of feelings of love for yourself? Embrace your innate sensuality!

If men don't want commitment and women don't want soulless sex, then what bridges the gap?

Not all men newdaddie only men like you. Some women desire soulless sex. Neither make it the 'norm' There are niche corners in capitalism but in the main it's about the norm. Pornographers understand this. Which is why pornography is such a huge earner in terms of capitalism. Pornography has roots in prudery though and those who watch it, in the main, are prudes when it comes to sexuality and sexual relations.

Pornography has roots in prudery though and those who watch it, in the main, are prudes when it comes to sexuality and sexual relations

Pornography absolutely relies on promoting sex as dirty.

Hi scrumples

The trauma inflicted by (and while) being used as an object by the "clients" would be what causes that.

I'm so sorry you have been through this. So angry that you and so many others have PTSD because of males exercising their sense of sexual entitlement.

Thanks for sharing.