Why would you focus on gender as a trans thing and not join with feminists to eliminate the proscription of gender roles so that you could be happy with both your sex and your personality?
So good, she said it a third time :) It's my persistent point of irresolution with this whole caboodle.
This is a quote from my friend Helen, who is male:
It’s not 'because we are actually women' that makes it OK to be who we are. We are all valid and worthy and perfect however we are regardless of our sex. Our personality, our choices, our empathies and our identities are worthy even if they are on the wrong side of the [gender] line. The line is made up. It’s not the natural order. Men can be anything. Women can be anything.
My position exactly: What's wrong with being who you are - all of it, personality, sexuality, 'gender', bio sex, fat ankles, the lot?
She made a sensible point here, too:
... there is no need for the words man and woman or male and female to mean anything so let’s screw with patriarchy by really fucking around with those words and divorcing them from genitals.
Versus
gender is bullshit but genitals are real so let’s say that men (people with outies) can have any personality and so can women (people with innies). So let’s keep the words to still mean sex but fuck around with patriarchy by saying that it’s ok for men to be feminine and for women to be masculine. Or both. Or neither.
If we can stop arguing over the semantics then maybe we could concentrate on the actual issues:
1) Toxic masculinity
2) Male violence
3) Rape culture
4) Discrimination in the workplace
Sadly, the weight of evidence points to a majority of the transgender movement embodying toxic masculinity and rape culture - so we're not likely to see a widespread agreement here.