Who is the main driver in your relationship? You or DP?

[KP86]

Just curious, if you and DP/DH are both in the car at the same time, who drives?

For us it's DH 99% of the time as he 'can't relax' when I'm driving, and to the honest, it's just easier for me to leave him to it and then I get a chance to relax/day dream/look at phone myself. When I do drive he is constantly on edge and comments, grrrr! He clearly thinks he is a much better driver.

With my parents, it's the same. Dad always drives. Even if they are in Mum's car.

I drive 80% of the time in everyday life and 100% of the time abroad or in new places. DH isn't the best driver and isn't confident in new places.

To put it bluntly, I am a better driver imho, I stick properly to lanes etc, he is more erratic and sometimes unintentionally cuts people up on roundabouts etc. I find it hard to be a passenger with him.

Driving is definitely a feminist issue in my family. DH does most of the driving- he could drive when we first got together and I couldn't- but he finds it weird as his parents always split the driving when he was growing up (his mum can no longer drive due to MS). I drive all week and drive our DD around and think nothing of it, but I don't like driving DH around... Not because he's in anyway critical, quite the opposite, but I think because he helped teach me to drive I always feel like his pupil and it makes me nervous.

In my family growing up however, my my didn't drive as she had a massive phobia. She had a liscence but wouldn't do it until I was about 10 or 11 and she had hypnotherapy. However she never drives my dad who is a very critical back seat driver. My 27 year old sister doesn't drive and I didn't learn until I was 25. Definitely in our family it was seen as a male persuit. My nan didn't drive either and my grandad and dad both were very unsupportive of my learning to drive saying I "wasn't a natural driver".

My dad and grandad aren't/weren't massive mysogynists (quite the opposite in many ways) but when it comes/came to driving they definitely are/were. It's a weird phenomenon and having not grown up around it DH finds is very strange and is very supportive of me driving.

Depends on whose car we take, if it's mine he's not insured because I'm quite precious about my car.
If it's his we take it in turns, long journeys we share If we go out as a family we take his as mine only has 2 seats, so again share.

My dad even tries to drive in my car, in a city where he doesn't live and so is very unfamiliar! For him I think it is definitely a feminist issue, although I suspect he would say it's because he is being protective.

He's not ancient, by the way - only 52!

Apologies for the typos. Fat fingers.

I drive (I'm a woman). My dh doesn't drive. It's definitely a feminist issue because I often get angry at him for not driving when every other man in my family can drive. Thats how I think. I've definitely been conditioned into thinking this way and feel like all eyes are on me when I'm in a tricky situation parking or manoeuvring when dh is sitting next to me. It's like I feel people are thinking "why is she driving and not her husband?" writing this down makes me feel very stupid, but i grew up with my dad as the sole driver in the house.

Me. I can't cope with DH driving. He makes me feel sick and I can't relax if s behind the wheel

I do. Husband tried the back seat driving thing once and I left him on the side of the road
He also had a habit of going hypo very quickly. It happened to him once when he was driving and it really scared him.

Me.

Always have been. He learned to drive after me, he's younger than me. I love driving and find it easy.

DH does most of the driving; not just with me, but with everyone. He gets terrible car sickness as a passenger. In the years before he learned to drive, and it was just me driving, we'd have to stop every half an hour so he could steady himself.

He does think his penis make him a better driver than me, though. He's not stupid enough to say so out loud.

Radiant your last sentence made me laugh. I reckon that sums it up for most men (in my experience, anyway!)

With me and ex DP, I did most of the driving, particularly long distance driving (largely because I was more experienced). I still remember when we got the car (his mum's cast off), his dad gave us the grand tour of all its bits, looked his son up and down in an assessing sort of way, gave a little shake of his head and said "Lurcio, let me show you where the oil and radiator fillers are..."

Me, I'm a control freak and get sick if I'm the passenger too though now get sick driving as well, horrible leaky diesel car I'm also the one that gives pillion rides to all and sundry. Which seems to raise more eyebrows when hairy arsed bikers get off the back. DH only drives if I'm really sick, then I lay down in the back pretending it's not happening and trying not to be ill. I also drive my Mum, MiL, Uncles, Aunts, etc.. there is no end to my control freakery, my DA is exactly the same though, we have to take two cars or I'll ride the bike if she's involved.

Kill bill why would it be a feminist issue that you DH doesn't drive? I don't see that him not driving compared to every other male in your family is a feminist issue. Surely your attitude is sexist because you think a man should drive?

Me. I do about 99%, and DH will occasionally do some when we're on very quiet familiar roads. He learnt to drive quite late and lacks confidence, while I've been driving for much longer and out of necessity, more frequently than him. He's technically very good but worries too much and doesn't enjoy it, whereas I really love driving. I'm a far better navigator too though so that's a slight issue.

I really like doing long journeys with him in the passenger seat, he feeds me Haribo and has road rage moments at bad drivers, which makes me feel a zen-like calm in comparison .

I do all the driving. Dh doesn't drive even though he can, he has a licence, is insured on our car, etc. He just doesn't like it. He's also a crap navigator, can't give directions and can't read a map because it makes him travel sick.

It's not an issue in our house, but a lot of my friends and family seem to think the man should drive when they're both in the car. My aunt had to ask someone how to fill up the car when she got divorced, her ex had always done it, she'd only ever done short journeys. When I learned to drive my dad was adamant that I should know how to do it all, I know way more car maintenance than I will ever do (there is an excellent garage round the corner from work, they do it all for me). He also took me on a 3 hour motorway journey, involving a number of big roundabouts, the day after I passed my test because he knows so many women who are scared of motorways or big roundabouts. Mil won't drive herself to us, because there's no way of getting here without a big roundabout, we only live 10 min drive away.

If he needs his plumbing done or his kettle rewired, I do it because I like DIY and electrics so he'll get on with his knitting

You sound like a great family ShowOfHands

We split it 50/50. I am glad my DP is happy to share as my DM is now scared of driving because my dad always drives. Same with PIL.

Me. Can't fit the kids into dhs little car, and he's not insured to drive mine (it more than doubled the price to add him on). Even on the odd occasion that we escape without the kids and go in his car, I tend to drive.
I hate driving my car (it's big, bulky, and slow), whereas his is like driving a go kart in comparison, so it's quite fun.

Me. Dh only drives to the 24hr garage very early in the morning to get a newspaper or to the train station car park. And back again. Driving when lots of people are out on the road makes him nervous. I have the bigger car. I have driven all over the U.S. and Europe. Wouldn't dream of getting in a car with dh behind the wheel. Too scary.

DH drives, I don't know how.

I grew up in a place where lots of people don't drive (full of hippies plus lots of buses), then was a skint student, then moved to London.

We moved the Greater London/Surrey borders just after I got pregnant and I feel so trapped! As soon as the baby is born and old enough to leave with DH for a few hours I'm getting driving lessons.

Equal to a degree. If I am not well dh will drive. But quite often I am happy to drive. He drives all day as part of his job so he does like to be chauffeured at nights.

It depends whose car we're in. DP has the nicer car so we probably go out together in his more often, so he drives.

But if we go in my car then I'll drive.

With my parents, my dad always drives, even if they're both in my mum's car. Although my mum doesn't like driving.

I'm the driver as DH hasn't passed his test yet (if ever). I spent a long time getting pissed off that I had to do all the driving (and I too came from a family where all men drove & were the main drivers so it was weird to me when I met him that he didn't drive) but then came to realise that a) he does all the cooking b) he's good at cleaning and c) great at looking after DS - has much more patience than me.

So I'm OK with him not driving now, as it suits me! I just wish I could have a drink when we go out sometimes!!

If we're together I drive. However he often parks when we get there as I'm truly awful at parking, v poor spatial awareness. The kids say 'mum's a better driver and dad's better at parking'.