Why are men so turned off by women with short hair?

[MissTessmacher]

Just idly musing.

I recently cut my hair quite drastically. Changed my photo on OLD to one with the new do (previous photo was very glam/pin-up style with shoulder length hair).

I've gone from a very steady average of 10-15 messages a day to zero .

It's not the first time I've observed this phenomenon. The few times before I've cut my hair very short I have noticed it's like a cloak of invisibility when it comes to men.

Anyone care to enlighten me? Is it because women with short hair are considered unfeminine? (What a crock of shit if so).

[thegiddylimit]

This thread is reminding me of the blog 'men who look like old lesbians'. I'm not entirely pleased to be reminded of this blog but it's definitely linked to this discussion in a way I can't quite articulate now (DS currently watching teletubbies).

DS has a layered pageboy style, I've had few people tell me to cut it so he looks more 'boyish'. He's 3. I think we do seem to be going into a world where what is considered feminine and what is considered masculine seem to be getting further apart. Although Aiden Turner seemed to still manage to turn a few heads with his 'long' hair.

[Lanark2]

Short hair isn't just for gayo women. It doesn't stick to things as much and dries more quickly during sex.

[DadWasHere]

IMO its because hair speaks to many men in this way:
Long hair: 'Look at what I have.'
Short hair: 'Look at what I am.'

[Lanark2]

It speaks to me in this way: long hair, ages getting ready, bad shouty moods because it won't curl the right way or needs washing, sticks to you during sex, constantly getting tole off for leaning on it
Short hair: fucking in the shower is ok, getting ready can be quick, you can pat her head and feel warmly patronising.

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Men always put their hands in my hair during sex too..I don't think it's a dominant gesture particularly. Hair is soft and shiny, smells nice, feels nice. It's just a tactile thing.

Aside from that..10-15 messages a day..!?

[rogueantimatter]

Young women didn't used to usually have long hair when I was young. Depressing to think there's now an expectation of women having long hair - requiring lots of time and conditioner.

Otoh I don't usually feel attracted to men who have long hair so...

[rogueantimatter]

Little boys with a huge mop of long or longish hair - cuuute.

Sorry for being shallow.

Men who only go for highly groomed women; you're probably better off without them.

[Shesinfashion]

Every man I've dated or slept with has been very tactile with my long hair. Smelling it, stroking it, holding it during sex. Maybe it's the type of man I attract with my lengthy locks.

[Alibabsandthe40Musketeers]

dries more quickly during sex um.. what are you meaning here

[TheToys]

I have had short hair most of my life and have bagged the hottest men while having a shaved head. I looked dull and ordinary with long hair. It just does not reflect my personality.

I wish I could shave my head again, but my job requires me to have a slightly more conservative hair cut. At the moment it's a short undercut in my natural sludgy brown and grey. Home cut, of course. I keep wavering between wanting to colour it subtly and keeping the grey. I think it looks pretty good the way it is. It reflects who I am now. I am out to please nobody but myself. DH has a slight preference for long hair, but finds me attractive whatever I do with it.

I would be inclined to think that a man who doesn't find me attractive with my short hair probably would not like other things about me, so would be a waste of time, anyway.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I had very short hair all through my twenties. No shortage of male and indeed female admirers in those days

[SomeDyke]

"but I've always wondered about the skinhead gay man look and short haired lesbian look"

Why? After all, shaving or close-clipping your head is pretty common nowadays, amongst balding men for starters. And frankly, short hair is so much more practical than long hair-styles (or any style frankly!). SO perhaps a more pertinent question is why any woman would go to all the faff of having a long hair style that required time-consuming and expensive maintenance in the first place...........and why most men don't feel the need to, but can get away with short hair.

Then gay men or lesbians with shaved heads is just a minor variation on the basic short-haired and sensible theme :-) Apart from the drag queens, of course, but then drag queens have a thing all of their own!

[mercifulTehlu]

I dunno - I imagine that the majority of women probably prefer men with short hair , perhaps because it looks more masculine.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

SO perhaps a more pertinent question is why any woman would go to all the faff of having a long hair style that required time-consuming and expensive maintenance in the first place

What time consuming etc,etc is that? I had very long hair until early 20s. I washed it , not every day, towelled it dry and pulled a brush through it.

Current short style doesn't require much maintenance from me but has to be cut ,very expensively and very precisely every 5 weeks

[SomeDyke]

"Sorry, this writer:
effingdykes.blogspot.com/2009/05/homo-haircuts.html"

Well, I have to disagree with the baldies comment -- I've had mine like this since the eighties, and I don't think I'm mad. :-)

[SomeDyke]

"What time consuming etc,etc is that? "

Clipped -- clippers over the sink mornings whilst the kettle boils, no sweat if you miss a couple of days. Shaving requires a steady hand (if manual razor), or not so steady if using the electric. No shampoo required, no drying required, no brushes or combs, no cuts that need to be paid for, just a new set of clippers every so often, the jumbo packs of disposable razors and own-brand shaving foam.

I still think mine is cheaper and consumes less time. Plus if you miss ALL of it in the mornings still looks almost exactly the same! :-)

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

That link amuses me.

A while back, a then-new friend of mine - who is lovely, but very right-on - explained to me that she had to consider cultural appropriation when she got her hair cut. She explained she had a short, edgy haircut, and that this could look like appropriation of a lesbian aesthetic. She glanced doubtfully at my short, not-so-edgy haircut, and hazarded a guess I really ought to consider the same issues.

I'm afraid I just found it very funny.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

What you descibe is considerably more faff than I had with long hair. I'm genuinely puzzled - what is so time- consuming about long hair? I had very long hairmore pertinent question is why any woma. I did not have a hair style "that required time-consuming and expensive maintenance"

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Sorry should say. I had very long hair. I did not have a hair style "that required time-consuming and expensive maintenance"

[DrSeussRevived]

Lots of women with long hair blow dry and straighten every day, lass.

I CBA, so I don't!

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

I didn't. I didn't use anything other than shampoo. It was long again between 35 -45 but I usually put it up - took about a minute to do.

It's a bit clichéd to assume long hair must mean more effort. Every short style I've had has involved more effort than when it was long.

[WeeHelena]

What constitutes short hair?
My hair gets trimmed on the dot every 8 weeks as the style gets out of hand pretty quick.
It's just below the chin line but really short at the back hefty layers and chipped in.
Shorter is so much more practical and requires not much styling.
I have round face and no chin.

I haven't felt less men have been attracted to me through my short hair not that I have a qiue outside my door or anything.

When my hair is long it's fine and flat and boring and doesn't suit me.

In the past Iv had men bellends tell me I shouldn't cut my long hair short like they weren't giving me permission to do so.
I did it anyway, I have had men tell me that I should change my hair ie grow it out.
I told them I liked it the way it was, the last one got binned shortly after.

I am very attracted to men with long hair one had it all way down his back and current one has thick jet black curly hair to his shoulders but wears a man bun . There isn't many about though.

I do believe it is very socialised rather than primal

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Women in Tudor times, for example, were expected to keep their hair hidden once married. Long, free hair meant either youth and/or virginity."

There have been lots of times in history when long, flowing hair meant youth/virginity and hair held up meant matrimony/age.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I also has a friend who is an actor and who has been working consistently over the last 30 years or so. She has always had short hair - she just totally suits a pixie cut as she has an amazing jaw line (think Helena Bonham Carter) but 9 times out of 10 she is cast as a lesbian.

[IfNotNowThenWhenever]

Man bun?? Noooo!