Why are men so turned off by women with short hair?

[MissTessmacher]

Just idly musing.

I recently cut my hair quite drastically. Changed my photo on OLD to one with the new do (previous photo was very glam/pin-up style with shoulder length hair).

I've gone from a very steady average of 10-15 messages a day to zero .

It's not the first time I've observed this phenomenon. The few times before I've cut my hair very short I have noticed it's like a cloak of invisibility when it comes to men.

Anyone care to enlighten me? Is it because women with short hair are considered unfeminine? (What a crock of shit if so).

[MamaMary]

It's to do with porn.

In porn, women all have long flowing hair which the men often pull roughly.

Sorry, but I think that's a lot to do with it. If you have short hair, you don't conform to their porn fantasy.

[Lanark2]

In porn, women have shaved heads, and are usually in prison, so I don't see where you are getting that from.

[Snowshimmer]

Probably because a lot of men are very keen on gender role bullshit.

I think men with short and long hair (if they actually take care of it) can look good...same with women.

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

I agree it's probably socialised, and it is a feminist issue (because it's one of those things society uses to tell women they're doing it all wrong, up to a certain age, at which point the Mary Beard effect kicks in ...).

I wonder if there's also a slight association of short hair with lesbians, too? Because that's a stereotype, and there's a certain kind of man who'd care about that.

[DrSeussRevived]

"In porn, women have shaved heads, and are usually in prison, so I don't see where you are getting that from."

Eh?

[DrSeussRevived]

Betty, what "effort" does your DH undertake specifically for you that he wouldn't otherwise, and does it rob him of an hour's sleep?

[SecretWitch]

I wonder about this often. I have long, thick curly blonde hair. I am 51. My mother hates that I will not cut my hair. I won't. It is not straggly, nor grey. My husband can't keep his hands out of it. Hair is so very personal but people often love telling women how it should be kept.

[whatdoesittake48]

I love my short crop, my doc martens, my surly demeanour and my kick ass look. But then I put on a beautiful dress and lipstick with heels and suddenly I am transformed. My hair can be c all things and really suits my mood whatever it may be.

[Holowiwi]

Maybe just maybe you should try asking men, for once I think their view would actually be valid. Some of the comments here have certainly got me chuckling.

[DrSeussRevived]

Holowiwi, the OP effectively did ask men - she got far less interest on OLD with short than long hair

[Holowiwi]

Well she isn't 'women' she is a woman, not sure if someone has mentioned this but maybe her hairstyle isn't flattering for her.

Depends on how short (not to mention style) she went, having short hair really needs the right head shape and cheekbones certainly help. I say that as someone coming from a culture where seeing women with a shaven head is a common sight.

[mugatuperm]

Usually, according to a a round discussion from a few guys I know, because: [sign of age] it's the equivalent of men going bald where a lady's hair gets poor quality so she cuts it/[not bothering] being a mum or in a long-term relationship and not bothering with appearance any more/[trouble] women with short hair are always a lot more aggressive. Don't yell at me, it's literally what I heard last time this got canvassed so thought I would post it here for the furtherance of answer-giving. It is indeed harsh, but men get the opposite hassle for having long hair.

[zippey]

Do you think men with long hair get a similar drop in matches with OLD?

Nothing to do with porn.

[kmc1111]

Some of the more popular short hairstyles for women are very practical and boring. You do get the same thing with men's hair cuts, there's just some that make a person look deeply dull.

Completely anecdotal, but I got loads of male attention when I had a very short pixie cut, and loads when I had a sort of short angular bob. More than I get with long hair actually. But in the in-between phase, when it was too long to be called a pixie but too short to leave it hanging down on my face, I didn't get much male attention. It was the 'soccer mum' haircut, and it was just boring and a bit ugly. Practical, but not attractive and not really meant to be. I think it's that last part that turns people off, whether in men or women. If you want to attract people, it's going to help if you look like that's something you actually want to do. If the vibe you're giving off is 'I don't give a shit', well that can be great, but not for online dating.

[AStreetcarNamedBob]

I hate long hair on man. And ponytails. i wouldn't consider dating a man with one. Same thing.

[Snowshimmer]

I think it's about culture, what we are used to also.
Big long hair on men was considered attractive on men in Europe in the 1600s, and if you were for example Sioux it would be considered standard, braids would be normal on a man.

[MissTessmacher]

Thanks everyone for your input.

My hair isn't mumsy or a style that indicates that I've given up on my appearance It's about half an inch all over, like a slightly grown out skinhead. I'm 35, 5'4, 9 stone and a bit but with an arse and boobs so am pretty sure I'm not being mistaken for a dude. I'm also a mua so wear makeup every day and dress well and have quite a individual style.

I understand personal preference and don't feel entitled to be fancied by all and sundry (ironically I struggle to fancy bald men!). With my hair before I was getting 20-30 views of my profile a day and 10-15 messages, most of them saying I was out of their league because I was so hot. I'm definitely not a 'hot girl' any more now that my hair is gone. That interests me hence the thread.

Interestingly I had nothing but positive comments out and about yesterday, all from women (and ex-DP), one of whom was a total stranger!

[Snoopadoop]

This is interesting. But I'm going to reverse slightly. I hate, hate, hate long hair on a man. I'm am not and cannot think of an occasion where I've been attracted to a man with long hair. Maybe it's just what we like (think we like) because historically it's usually been woman - long hair, man - short hair and we've become programmed to it?

[zippey]

Do you think it's a shame that we judge people so shallowly... I'm sure there are plenty of men with long hair who are lovely people. And conversely I'm sure there are plenty of women with short hair who have good personalities.

[SurferJet]

Short hair is associated with older women or lesbians. That's it in a nutshell really. ( as far as some men are concerned )

But personally, & I'm a woman, there's very few women who look good with very short hair, you have to be very pretty with perfect features.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Personally I rarely like very short hair on women, it doesn't really matter how beautiful they are or how much it suits them, I just love longer hair, some women do look great and quirky with short hair. In contrast I hate long hair on men, even slightly longer, unless it's on a toddler I like very short tidy hair.

I do agree women get criticised far too much for their choices on their appearance, more so than men. So that is a feminist issue.

I do think the long hair/short hair is probably a primitive thing though.

[VestalVirgin]

Oh, I totally understand why men aren't attracted by women with short hair. I myself am not attracted to men with short hair.

What I do not understand is why they cut their own hair short, when they consider long hair aesthetically superior.

Of course it also depends on the shape of one's head. Some people do have nice heads that look aesthetically pleasing with short hair or shaven. However, there are very, very few men who look good with short hair. I strongly suspect there are more women whose head and face are suited for short hair than there are men.

[celeste83]

Maybe evolution of men has not taken away their ability to be shallow about appearance

[scallopsrgreat]

"It suits very less face shapes than longer hair. " Yet here are men with their differing face shapes mainly going around with short hair.

"I do think the long hair/short hair is probably a primitive thing though." So if it's a primitive thing why do men not go around with long hair. Knives and cutting implements were invented at the same time for both men and women, I believe.

[VestalVirgin]

Yet here are men with their differing face shapes mainly going around with short hair.

Men are allowed to look boring and/or ugly, women are not. That's the difference.

I hope this will soon change as women become economically independent from men. Sooner or later men will realize that they have to do a bit more to attract those modern, independent women. Or stay single.