Aibu to think this is not a solution to paedophilia

[TheXxed]

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/japanese-company-manufactures-lifelike-child-sex-dolls-for-paedophiles-a6811046.html

A company in Japan wants to manufacture life like sex dolls of young girls, I feel sick to my stomach. I am so dumbstruck by this I don't even know how to articulate how upset I am.

I agree with OutsSelf part of the attraction is that the child cannot consent, I feel that as a society we are becoming hypersexualised. And when there is push back its labelled as prudishness, I am genuinely concerned with how we conceptualise sex, the direction we are moving in is in my opinion regressive and harmful of women and children.

Of course Outself, you're right to question it as we don't have definitive evidence that is is this way but there has been research suggesting that differences in the brain are present at birth that could cause paraphilia, and male paedophiles tend to have different ratios of brain matter. So that to me suggests something is causing it and it's not just sociological factors.

It's classed as a psychiatric disorder, so an illness, and thus I base my posts on that

I find Germany's stance interesting www.theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/16/how-germany-treats-paedophiles-before-they-offend

I can't find the article but I remember reading that watching porn can change aspects of your brain, make you desensitized to sex and change your sexual desires.

A British man emigrated to Germany to get the treatment, so there is a market for it. People WANT the help, they dont WANT to be like that.

But back to the topic at hand, surely these dolls are just engaging the behaviour instead of giving the paedophiles the tools to inhibit the behaviour and thoughts. Not to take part in them and fantasize.

It's like allowing someone to go in a room and murder a load of fake people to satisfy their compulsion to murder, surely that's more damaging?

I am not sure this is a good way forward do men who have sex with blow up doles are they less likely to pay for sex, want less sex I doubt it

I rather go the way for support groups for those who are having to deal with these feelings and not act on them and for these to be made easier to access we may then gain greater understanding as why some men and women are attracted to children and is this something that could be changed

we have to separate them from those that do abuse, no all that sexually abuse children are paedophiles either, its a complex issue that is not going to go away but it can be managed better

I thought brain plasticity meant that it was nearly impossible to tell whether behaviours were caused by differences in brain structure or differences in brain structure was caused by behaviours?

I'd be very interested to see a study that conclusively pointed to brain structures being set from birth unless it involved a level of brain damage that couldn't be replicated.

dolls.... not doles

Any grown person with differences in their brain in line with their predilections are candidates for demonstrating how we create ourselves through our choices . Cabbies aren't born with unusually large spatial processing centres, are they? I so doubt this is nature in its infinite variation

I don't know all that much about the brain so I obviously can't answer that, and I doubt there's study that proves anything conclusively.

A bit like we can't see what makes a gay person gay or a straight person straight. Something does.

People are fine with saying 'born that way' when it's something they find acceptable though, but when it's something like this it's difficult?

Yy, watching porn changes aspects of your brain.

Men don't consume pornography in large numbers because they are hypersexual. They consume it in order to become so. I reckon.

The dolls thing is horrifying and does nothing to challenge what is culturally constructed. Unless we actually believe that Japanese men have some specific gene for paedophilia? And why do Japanese women not suffer with it? And how come it is so clearly a logical extension of a cultural fixation on smallness/ purity? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

No, we shouldn't be handing out dolls to paefophiles. It's so clearly a step which normalises and accepts. It's a salve so no one has to take a long hard look at their basic values, particularly not the men who will use them.

The dolls thing is horrifying and does nothing to challenge what is culturally constructed

Agree with this 100%

I have two questions Grays, please ignore the personal one if you feel it's inappropriate.

• Do you believe that the person who abused you did so because he was attracted to you?

-What do you think accounts for the fact that there appear to be far more male than female paedophiles?

Can I just point out here that when men rape women and children, women and children are told to be careful and men are given toys to play with.

• I'm not sure because I later found out he had abused his daughters from a young age too and had also done the same to more of their friends. I think it takes a special sort of sick to abuse your own daughters.

• Again I'm not sure, it is something I find every interesting though. But there are other conditions that males are much more predisposed to, so this could be another one.

I don't pretend to have all the answers, it's an interesting but harrowing discussion, but I'm not going to pick and chose which disorders in the DSM I believe in and which I don't based on my personal experience and feelings. I'd be quite happy with them simply being monsters who chose to be this way.

What I'm curious about Grays is the idea that a paedophile is attracted to children, the same way non-paedophiles are attracted to other adults. I don't think that's the case, and I don't think your abuser was attracted to you or to his daughters.

Paedophilia, IMO, is not about attraction at all. It's about wielding power over someone weaker than you and using them because you feel you can't use people your own age/status.

Giving that person a toy to play with won't change that need to exploit others to get a sense of power IMO.

Also, even if it were an attraction, I seriously doubt a doll could fulfil it - would you be happy with an adult doll instead of a real partner?

I'm incredibly impressed with the rational, serious thought posters are giving this topic. I think it is something we very much need to have in the open and we need to be researching this so we can start to address it properly, before paedophiles offend for the first time.

I'm not sure I agree that it isn't an attraction to children. I think the poster has a very valid point on why SOME offenders offend, but I don't think you can blanket an entire perversion that way.

I don't think that's the case to be honest, but I do see why others have that opinion. I got the whole 'youre beautiful, I'd give anything to be with you like adults do, tell me what I can give you' etc etc. I very much got the feeling he wanted me to make this choice and wanted me to be in control. Obviously that could just be my perception of that incident, but I do anyway think that paedophilia is more about attraction rather than the power imbalance. I've read bits from paedophiles about them first discovering they felt that way, the revulsion at being attracted to a child/adolescent.

Actually, could it not be both? Who's to say that all paedophiles are born with an illness that makes them feel this way?

I do agree with your last point though, giving them a toy isn't going to change this.

callindana I think the very healthy market in sex dolls of adult age disproves that point - many people who have no partner 'make do' with them. I haven't had a sexual partner in 3 years but my vibrating friend keeps me happy enough!

I think there should be a distinction made between child abuser and paedophile. Not all paedophiles are child abusers.

I would think that an actual paedophile is a lot more rare compared to a child abuser.

But I do agree that a toy isn't the way we need to address this. I didn't make that clear in my last post. I think it is too close to removing mental barriers and ve need to be very careful about this.

I'm reluctant to discuss the details of your abuse Grays, as I know that doing that can be triggering - just checking you're ok?

To clarify - I have no problem at all with discussing it as long as you're ok.

I do very much so wish that there had been something there. Something that perhaps he could have done, maybe like Germany has.

He not only damaged me in that instance but changed my life. I was sexually abuse by ANOTHER friends dad in my teens and have had countless occasions of lads my own age taking liberties - all of which I convinced myself was the norm for some strange bloody reason which I think stems back to the time that's relevant here.

But a sodding doll isn't going to help

A doll wouldn't stop a rapist

Dolls and toys are great for people who use them as a sex aid to compliment improve their sex life, not for people trying to abstain from sordid and illegal desires.