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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why strip clubs are so wrong

374 replies

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 13:19

A male friend of mine is annoying me because he apparently wants me to go to a strip club with him.

I am very surprised at him because he's a cerebral and generally decent person. I thought better of him to be honest.

I said to him that strip clubs objectify women the same way that prostituion does and he said they are a form of art Confused - I mean seriously what disingenuous bolleaux.

Now he is saying that I'm not being mature about it because I won't change my mind. Apparently the men are the ones being exploited (eye roll) oh that old chestnut.

So how do those of you more eloquent than I argue your point on this one?

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grimbletart · 10/09/2015 13:48

I would ask him why, if he believes he is being exploited, he is daft enough to allow himself to be exploited. So, not as cerebral as he appears to be clearly.

I would also tell him that his level of "maturity" is similar to the one you see among 14 year old boys giggling over porn on their iPhones at the back of the bike shop.

He clearly hasn't quite got through his adolescence.

granhands1 · 10/09/2015 13:48

Why would you even bother, it won't change his opinion. He just wants to aggravate you and start an argument. He knows he is spouting nonsense, just disengage

grimbletart · 10/09/2015 13:49

Actually, what granhands said??..Grin

granhands1 · 10/09/2015 13:55

Lol, can't be bothered with sexist men.

NiNoKuni · 10/09/2015 14:18

It's not an art form. There's nothing new, interesting or form-subverting about a woman taking her clothes off for the male gaze. It's about as much an art form as a photocopy of a four year old's drawing of a boob.

Then there's power dynamics - female strippers act subservient, male ones act powerful (in general). Same old patriarchal reinforcing of gender roles. Money changing hands makes very little difference to that IMO. It's still men buying the 'right' to (look at) women's bodies.

I was once forced to sit through Magic Mike. My, that was tedious. You are allowed just to not like strippers or strip clubs, yannow. It's hardly immature. I've never been arsed about gyrating men thrusting their pelvises about, either.

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 14:54

Why would he want to provoke me though? That's odd. I asked him if he would be happy for his daughter to do it and he said yes! He's certainly gone down in my estimation.

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YonicScrewdriver · 10/09/2015 14:57

Why does he want you to go to something you don't want to go to?

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 15:06

I have no idea. He seems bent on changing my mind about strip clubs. I can only assume it's because then he'll feel more justified in going. He will never change my mind - I feel strongly that they are wrong.

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MrNoseybonk · 10/09/2015 15:39

How are you even friends with him?
If a friend of mine insisted I do something I didn't like, for whatever reason, then pushed the point, wouldn't let it drop and accused me of immaturity for not wanting to, they wouldn't be my friend for long. Doesn't matter whether it's a strip club, yoga class, book club or cup of tea.

BreakingDad77 · 10/09/2015 15:40

Is he saying its art because its burlesque Hmm (posh stripping, like prostitutes vs escorts)

Maybe he is doing it as he is planning to get some sexual kick out of getting a woman to gyrate on you.

AmeliaNeedsHelp · 10/09/2015 15:48

"Men have been buying access to women's bodies for millennia. Its time to change."

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 17:02

I've told him I'm disappointed in him. He says he accepts he won't change my view now but originally was saying he was determined to change my mind about it.

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YonicScrewdriver · 10/09/2015 17:17

"If a friend of mine insisted I do something I didn't like, for whatever reason, then pushed the point, wouldn't let it drop and accused me of immaturity for not wanting to, they wouldn't be my friend for long. Doesn't matter whether it's a strip club, yoga class, book club or cup of tea."

Well, quite. I think you're right - if he can convince you it's OK, he can get a kick out of that, or else convince himself it's OK too...

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 17:56

Oh well, apparently the stripper ware really happy, thick skinned people so it's fine according to him.

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bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 17:57

Strippers are*

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ALassUnparalleled · 10/09/2015 18:03

Apparently the men are the ones being exploited (eye roll) oh that old chestnut.

Not exploited but as my son put it once "sad gits paying for attention from women who otherwise wouldn't give them the time of day"

I know this is not a view which most of you share but for me one objection to prostitution and strip clubs is the level of contempt both sides seem to have for the other. You may well say it is justified from the women's point of view, but for me it's another "wrong" to add to the list.

I once had a ridiculous argument with a "pro sex" advocate trying to say my relationship with my clients was no different - all just punters paying for the hire of services.

ALassUnparalleled · 10/09/2015 18:04

Oh and drop the friend here.

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 18:09

I think I'm going to have to. I can't believe I never knew he supported this sort of awful thing.

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TiggyD · 10/09/2015 18:53

Why not suggest to him that you both go watch some male strippers. If it's just art and not a sexual thing...

Chchchchangeabout · 10/09/2015 18:59

I would suggest a male strip club if he's so keen to go to one with you.

AnyFucker · 10/09/2015 19:04

I couldn't be arsed with him

Drop kick him out of your life...he sounds like an annoying spanner

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 19:23

He's such a cerebral person in other ways. Which is almost why it's even more awful that he can't think through the implications of lap dancing clubs to their logical conclusion :(

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AnyFucker · 10/09/2015 19:39

nah, he just sounds like a twat

bodenbiscuit · 10/09/2015 19:41

I wouldn't have said he was a twat before this. He's generally quite sensitive and aware of other people's needs. Now though, I'm beginning to wonder.

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NewBallsPlease00 · 10/09/2015 19:43

My friend works in a strip club
She choses to do so
She works the hours and shifts she wants
She's happy
What's the issue?