Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

983 replies

NoTechnologicalBreakdown · 07/08/2015 08:17

Ooh ooh! Do I get to start it?

Wine and cake all round. And a celebratory burst on the patriarchy-blasting cannon!

Old pub here

OP posts:
slugseatlettuce · 24/09/2015 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 25/09/2015 17:03

Today I refused to represent the nearly non-existing women staff in our department. Though I did that by deleting the email instead of replying in CAPITAL LETTERS because I don't have the energy. I don't feel like representing women. When do I get to represent myself? When do any of my male colleague get asked to represent men?

DepthFirstSearch · 25/09/2015 18:31

I've lost count of the number of tech interviews I had to do at a certain corporation because they wanted to represent their female technical population in front of female candidates. Turns out, their female technical population was rather small, thus my being there in Every. Single. Interview. For which, of course, I wasn't compensated but God forbid I let my deliverables slip.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 25/09/2015 19:34

Exactly. I'm afraid these days I just say no. You want female representation, you fucking hire them.

NiNoKuni · 25/09/2015 19:46

Hello! Mine's a pint of vodka, please Grin

Had a read of this earlier, Men Going Their Own Way. Don't really quite know what to make of it except 'nawww'.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 25/09/2015 19:57

I skimmed through it and thought "OK! Bye now! Off you go! Don't hurry back!" Grin

EBearhug · 25/09/2015 20:36

How do you change that kind of working environment

The thing which has made changes at the top with us is money, and stats showing companies with more diverse boards are better at making money. Plus we need to represent our customers, and women often control household budgets. Not a lot to do with it just being the right thing to do - and I'm not sure how the stats on other forms of diversity are, like race, age, disability and do on.

I think I've only been to one techy interview with a woman. She was the departmental manager. Any other women have been part of HR, not the tech department.

Next week, I will be badgering HR about what they'll be doing about diversity training with the rest of the office who haven't had training - because they're often the ones who need it most.

ChunkyPickle · 27/09/2015 07:56

I've interviewed lots of techies, but I've never had a (non HR) interview with a woman (even for big names) - I've only ever worked with one other female developer, and very rarely interviewed women (despite combing CVs for them)

I'm trying to take my mind off the article I just read (Daily Mail.. I read it mainly to get annoyed I think) talking about single women going to clinics to be artificially inseminated/get IVF to have a baby. None of the doctors had a problem, but there was lots of spluttering from other quarters - but most bizarrely they repeatedly came back to the disbelief that some of the women having the treatment had never had sex. As if that was some kind of hurdle you had to jump before you could pay to have a doctor inseminate you instead. They seemed boggled and incensed that women were getting what they wanted despite having rejected having a penis inside them!

INickedAName · 28/09/2015 15:10

A link to this article showed up on my twitter feed this feed this morning. I thought it was a joke but it appears to be legit. I was thinking of starting a thread because there's so much I can't get my head around, and would like to hear other thoughts. I've not started one because there's a lot of "transphobic, bigot, Terf" stuff getting flung at people questioning this product, and I don't know how to word my feelings so that I don't sound offensive.

fake penises designed for 4 year old trans children

slugseatlettuce · 28/09/2015 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiNoKuni · 28/09/2015 16:13

Yeah, I've seen that Nicked. I don't rightly know what to make of it either.

On the one hand, I find it really rather creepy. There's something about strapping a dildo onto a five year old girl that just doesn't feel right. [I've read that sentence back to myself and gone 'duh!']

On the other hand, it's just a penis. I don't know if some five year olds need them to be happy as I have zero experience with transgender kids.

I don't think this has anything to do with paedophilia, although it doesn't half seem extraordinary to be so genitalia-focused at that age. But what do I know?

ChunkyPickle · 28/09/2015 17:44

I'm regretting clicking on that to be honest. It feels very, very wrong. Not least because they like caricatures, not like real ones at all.

ChunkyPickle · 28/09/2015 17:44

look like caricatures

INickedAName · 29/09/2015 22:51

Just popping in to have a little wobble.

The lump that I was told is a cyst a month or so ago had changed when I went for my next appointment, they wanted to make sure so sent me for a mammogram and drew some fluid. I had the results from that last week and was told it's not looking like anything sinister but they were worried about the amount of pain I'm in, and how my breast is very swollen, (its fucking agony) so recommended me having it removed and then they'll also test the lump.

All good and well and they said I'll be booked in for tomorrow. I thought I'd be awake but it turns out I'll be out to sleep, I've been pushing it to the back of my mind all week and feel sick now. I'm scared of not being in control of my own body and the thought is bringing some not nice medical memories for me. Sixteen years ago Several students all had a go at removing my retained placenta without my consent and because I was so drugged up I couldn't move and say no, I know that stuff doesn't happen anymore but I've been revisiting it all day, it's worn me out but i feel restless, I know I'll be ok but I feel stupid for thinking it was like having a tooth out, when's it's actually more like a proper operation.

Dh thinks I'm just worried in general, I can't bring myself to tell what is bothering because it's something I don't feel comfortable talking about. I know I'm 100% safe, but I still feel frightened, I'm going to have a nice bath and try to relax and sleep.

Good thing is I have to be there at 7.30 am so I don't have all morning to work myself up, and the sooner I'm in, the sooner I'm out and I can have coffee. Dd is hoping I'm groggy and say silly things so she can video it and put me on youtube!

Just posting for a kick up the arse really. I'm gonna use the few hours I'll be sat around to finish delusions of gender (or if that's too heavy going I have dds Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

EBearhug · 29/09/2015 23:49

It's horrible going through breast stuff, even if you know it's for the best. I think it's fine and normal to have a wobble. I hope you get some sleep and it all goes well. Hope you have a swift recovery! I'll be thinking of you.

SenecaFalls · 30/09/2015 02:32

Me, too. INnicked.

EBearhug · 30/09/2015 08:19

You must be there now, INicked. Hope it's all going well.

INickedAName · 30/09/2015 08:34

I'm sat with the weirdest tight green sock things on. I'm not as panicked as I was last night but I'm proper nervous. And hungry. I should be going down in half an hour, and they said it'll all be over and I'll be going home by lunchtime. (Hopefully) Staff are really lovely.

EBearhug · 30/09/2015 08:59

Are they compression socks or something? Or just a distraction while you puzzle about why you've been asked to wear them? Smile

INickedAName · 30/09/2015 21:19

Everything went great, I was home by lunch time and have spent the afternoon asleep on the couch. All the staff were amazing and I felt really well looked after. They ended up taking three lumps out, throat a bit sore and boob swollen but the drugs are still doing their job so it's not hurting (yet).

My SIL and my mum phoned for a chat and both were lovely and a bit teary, dh has been a star an dd keeps asking if I want anything and "helping" me upstairs. She hugged me when she came home from school as she thought I was sleeping, she doesn't do hugs and I know I'd not have got one if she thought I was awake. Might be the drugs talking but I'm feeling really lucky to have everyone in my life, pain in the arses they are most of the time but I wouldn't be without any of them.

Have to keep the sodding socks on for another day, tried to take a pic to show you the full beauty of them and make you all jealous, but it's dark and the photo doesn't really do them justice :)

Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole
EBearhug · 01/10/2015 00:41

They do look quite splendid nevertheless. Smile
Glad it went well - take care, it takes time to get over a GA.

EBearhug · 01/10/2015 09:52

Today's mystery: I picked up a notebook I use on occasions like today (conference) - quite often things to do with eomen in tech and women in business - tenuous feministy relevance.

The first couple of pages, there are notes which I know about. And then there is a page where I have written on 3 separate li es the word "Unimportantly" in increasingly messy handwriting.

I have no memory of doing this. What do we think my thought processes were at the time that I was prompted to write it?

NeverEverAnythingEver · 01/10/2015 11:01

INickedAName I didn't see your posts. So glad it went well and hope you are recovering. Flowers

Like the socks. Grin

Ebear Were you in a dull meeting and attempting to write something and nodding off?

EBearhug · 01/10/2015 12:57

I guess I must have been - and it was so dull, I have entirely forgotten what it was!

slugseatlettuce · 02/10/2015 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread