teenage girls under massive pressure to do anal :(

[GinAndSonic]

Article may upset some people. Saw this www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11554595/Pornography-has-changed-the-landscape-of-adolescence-beyond-all-recognition.html in chat and thought it was something important to discuss, in particular this about teenages and anal Sex - "Moreover, both genders expected males to find pleasure in the act whereas females were mostly expected to “endure the negative aspects such as pain or a damaged reputation”."

Im not surprised by this sadly, as i was anally raped by my boyfriend as a teen over 10 years ago and pornification is only getting worse. What can we do, other thab talk to our kids? Can we do anything on a bigger scale to fix the problem, not just try to help our kids survive the shit storm?

There is a template letter to ask your campaign MPs their views on making Sex and relationship Education statutory in all primary and secondary schoolswww.sexeducationforum.org.uk/policy-campaigns/ask-your-candidates-about-sre.aspx

link

I didn't think you were Anna Span, but I did think you produced videos. I'm glad you are not offended!

Riro, I read through the previous link about what they want to train teachers to teach on pornography, and I don't think I would want my kids to do an SRE lesson on it.

My kids have done SRE on a variety of things, and I just let the school get on with what they think is appropriate. But that is because my kids are aware that a lot of what schools teach is bollocks (as most teenagers are aware).

I don't think blaming porn actually helps the underlying problem.
It's impossible to ban so we have to work with what we have.
The only way to tackle the problems is through better education that doesn't just teach the biology and the mechanics of sex, not does it offer a tick list of things that good girls do or don't do, but it really explores how you know, express and respect, what you do and don't want to do and why it is so important that you do learn how to do that.

Almondcakes mentioned "parents of boys (who of course are mostly women)".

I am curious about how this works.

Because I am talking about people who do the parenting, not people who have reproduced. The poster I was responding to was talking about ways of raising children, not creating a baby. Most people who are raising children - parenting - are women.

All right, now get it. Almondcakes may have been answering Lurcio, who said "the main burden for doing this lies with people like me - parents of boys". I think Almondcakes' meaning was that anyone who talks to boys about pornography will probably be their mothers and not their fathers. Pretty certainly true in most families.

It would be nice to think that children will hear something about pornography in their SRE lessons, and they should hear it from both women and men. I suppose I'd want the kids to hear that the world is flooded with the stuff, but it's not a realistic presentation of most people's experience of sex. And something about how sex should take place between people who respect each other, and if you're having sexual fantasies, are you enjoying a scenario where you have power over another person. Certainly no approval for boys pressuring girls for anal sex!

Interesting TED talk by Erika Lust feminist erotic filmmaker. She wants to change porn rather than get rid of Porn. She has made it clear it is about making erotic films realistic. Warning she doesn't hold back.

Great. So far so idealistic. Any ideas how this "change" is going to happen?

Interesting TEDx. Does it throw a curve ball in the minds of anyone at the accusatory stance of 'making films and hiring people to work on them' that SGB had to duck from?

Great. So far so idealistic. Any ideas how this "change" is going to happen?

Well, setting aside all notions of exploitation in porn or the morality of it, her central argument becomes that porn is unrealistic, and it is, very much so. But so is an Avengers movie, and so is most any movie for that matter. I think the question is, can she make porn that men will want to watch or is she just going to make porn that women will more enjoy watching?

I think its the later. Female consumer oriented porn already exists and did pre-internet, I watched it many years back with my then partner, but it was a tiny hat-full compared to entire bus-loads of formula male porn and I see no reason that ratio will ever be different in the future. Moreover, putting morality back into it for a second, just because that particular porn was blessed by sex-positive feminism, was it really that less exploitive just because it focused more on the pleasures of the women participating in it? There is real positive porn out there I think, mostly amateur porn when morally produced and distributed, but the volumes of production and consumption of porn is not unlike 999 restaurants out of every 1000 being nothing but junk food with people not giving a second thought about wolfing it down.

I think the change will only happen if people embrace the message, I hadn't seen that till yesterday and I am still in the process of what difference would it make? Dad the point I think is to create realism in erotic films. Just because someone made the Avengers doesn't detract from the making of Schindler's List or Erin Brocovich. May be it becomes a niche but we can't stop porn now unless we become almost like China and only be allowed on State Approved websites. So if we can't put it back into the box then having a more realistic genre might help. Unfortunately because of the stigma feminism has created around Porn many women will not look at working behind the camera, script writing or even producing and directing. Which leaves the industry firmly in the control of men.

If more sex positive feminists got involved then the industry stands a chance of changing but so long as the labels and stigmas are applied to any woman for daring to think about trying to change the industry from the inside we are ensuring men keep control.

A few people will make expensive porn-sorry, I mean erotic films- and a few people will buy and watch them to salve their consciences. Maybe even Big Porno might make a few. Then the usual diet of cheap, exploitative bump and grind will continue to be churned out-but now people will be able to say "it's changing- look there are women behind the camera"

I think easy access of porn has a massive role to play here. 30 years ago when I was a teenager the pressure was applied to swallow - because thats what the current porn movies were big on. Now anal is such an everyday thing in porn movies it's obviously shifted again. Where will it stop though? Will bestiality become the 'norm'? (As appears to have been shown in that vile footballer's home video).
I worry for my daughters and granddaughter.

Porn has played a massive role and I welcome the movement for ethical porn. No it won't stop the cheaper porn but there is a market for it.
Whatever role porn has played, the solution is not in trying to ban it. That will never happen. Complaining about porn doesn't help. Telling teenagers not to watch it doesn't help - it won't stop them.
No bestiality is not going to be the next step. That's a slippery slope logical fallacy.

44 years ago when I wasa sixth former at very "naice" girls grammar there was plenty of swallowing going on, no porn available to my peer group then, just Fiesta and a knowledge that "blue" movies existed.

Why am I suddenly reminded of this...?

"Society always wants to dump everything on parents, as if we can educate young people to be all sunshine and rainbows and that will prepare them for a dog eat dog society that everyone else is not changing."

Amen to that.

Lovecat-that is my new favourite thing.

YY Lovecat.

Am I the only one who finds the term ethical porn an oxymoron?

lovecat

The head in the sand approach to dealing with porn while living in a fantasy world believing porn will go away is not going to help our kids. Fact is porn is not going away unless we start having everything we do online controlled. And all the clever kids/computer geeks will still be able to watch what is produced in the rest of the world. If you want to change things it takes time and pressure from inside. But hey ho lets not work towards changing the industry so much better we complain about it and live it in control of men. Because men in control of porn is a so much better idea than even considering that we could change the industry.

So ranting and recycling but the box has been opened and nothing is ever going to close it.

"But hey ho lets not work towards changing the industry so much better we complain about it and live it in control of men."

I would love to change the "industry". Tell me how. Happy to start today.

the first step in changing anything is for the majority to accept it needs changing

while the as long as I get my orgasm I will turn a blind eye brigade carry on consuming cheap and nasty "first time 18yo gets her ass creamed" type stuff then nothing will ever be different

naice porn is a niche market. There just isn't the demand for it. Ask yourself why that is.