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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Consent, it's actually very simple

65 replies

AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:44

Hi, been lurking for a while, but friend just posted the following to fb www.theloop.ca/this-woman-just-explained-consent-with-the-most-perfect-metaphor/ which I wanted to share. When I read it I thought yes that's it! For all those idiots who can't work it out, this explains enthusiastic consent perfectly.

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AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:45

Agh, will try and find a clicky link

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AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:47

www.theloop.ca/this-woman-just-explained-consent-with-the-most-perfect-metaphor/

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AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:49

Last try rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2015/03/02/consent-not-actually-that-complicated/

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AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:50

Sorry, spectacular fail on this one

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kavv0809 · 08/03/2015 19:51

I know the one you mean, about tea? It is ace. Keep trying it is worth sharing.

AnyFucker · 08/03/2015 19:52

helped you out there

TeWiSavesTheDay · 08/03/2015 19:53

clicky

It's good!

TeWiSavesTheDay · 08/03/2015 19:54

Haha, should have refreshed!

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 08/03/2015 19:55
Smile
AnyFucker · 08/03/2015 19:55

great link, btw and an excellent analogy

AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 19:58

Thanks everyone! Smile

The whole concept of enthusiastic consent is pretty new to me after reading these boards (as a concept, it's never been a real life issue for me), even though it's so glaringly obvious.

I had a bit of a heated conversation with a colleague about the ched Evans case, and although my colleague did come round to my way of thinking this analogy could have summed it up so perfectly.

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BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 08/03/2015 20:16

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thatwhichwecallarose · 08/03/2015 20:23

Love it!

And of course if you're in a long term relationship you'll know if your partner likes to be woken up with a cup of tea. So you make it and let them know it's there if they want it. You don't pour it down their throat before they've woken nor do you get the hump if they don't on this occasion.

WiIdfire · 08/03/2015 20:25

It does miss out implied consent though. Thats a bit trickier. If you make someone a cup of tea and they see you approaching with it, hold their hands up, take it from you and start drinking, then they have implied consent without actually verbalising it. And thats a little harder to translate over to real life. Otherwise, a great analogy.

AmpleRaspberries · 08/03/2015 20:37

I see what you're saying Wildfire but I see non verbal consent as capable of being equally affirmative and enthusiastic. So in the reverse of your example if someone takes the tea having not said they want it and is drinking it but pulling a face indicating they don't like it then they don't want the tea.

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WiIdfire · 08/03/2015 20:41

Very true...

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 08/03/2015 20:45

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iisme · 10/03/2015 13:32

It's very good. But I think it fails in the situation that I offer someone a cup of tea and they seem to want it but they're so drunk I'm not sure they're really making rational choices. In that case, giving them tea is probably ok but giving them sex definitely isn't.

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 10/03/2015 13:36

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Aberchips · 10/03/2015 14:11

That is a great link & a really simple but effective way of explaining it to the dumbasses out there who don't understand that sometimes someone isn't capable of saying no even though that's what they mean.

pand0raslunchb0x · 10/03/2015 14:49

Perhaps if you are explaining the concept of consent to teens then it could be a good analogy to use in schools for Sex Education.

Dervel · 10/03/2015 16:01

Yes and you can add not everyone consents to milk or sugar in their tea either, although I heard tell some people are quite adventurous in their teapots and add slices of lemon!!

Still I like to know ahead of time what I'll be drinking.

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 10/03/2015 16:29

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cailindana · 10/03/2015 16:46

I should have put it under copyright! Still, glad to see it out there and that it's getting the point across.

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