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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The greens and prostitutes

807 replies

IceBeing · 04/03/2015 21:21

Be gentle as I am new to thinking about this.

I found the Natalie Bennett's comments on decriminalising prostitution pretty persuasive - what am I missing?

She basically said that sex workers would like this policy (having contributed to it) and that research from other countries indicated it was the way forward.

OP posts:
mary24go · 07/03/2015 21:07

"Yes, frequently! And some fascinating conversations have resulted; I am lucky that my male friends (gay and straight) are mostly emotionally literate and interested in other people and their relationships."

WOW you have gay and straight friends to have fascinating conversations with, you must be so fair and unbiased on stuff i can hardly wait to read your posts.

If you want to know my point read my posts dear.

Jessica147 · 07/03/2015 21:23

mary, do you disagree with my earlier statement, then? You think that consent to sex is something which can be bought and sold?

I personally think that there are some things which cannot or should not be bought and sold regardless of the willingness of the seller. For instance, I do not agree with selling of people (ie slavery), or their body parts (organ trade). For me, that extends to selling consent to sex (prostitution), but not as far as selling ideas (patents).

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 21:30

I'm just a bit Shock at the whole vagina narrowing thing

Or did I misread, it's possible...I am trying to mumsnet, read and watch a film...not very successfully

BriarRainbowshimmer · 07/03/2015 21:38

Rufus no it's 100% true, your vagina will shrivel up and stop functioning if you don't have constant heterosexual intercourse.

Seriously what unscientific PIV-obsessed, heteronormative bs.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 21:42

FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!! WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME!!!!

Oh wait Hmm is that what Madonna was singing about????

Someone's been watching too much Reservoir Dogs

TheBlackRider · 07/03/2015 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BriarRainbowshimmer · 07/03/2015 21:51

Yes, god, pretending that it benefits women's health -mental and physical - to prostitute ourselves is incredibly offensive. It's the opposite.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 21:58

I don't think that any one who has a vagina would believe it could narrow through underuse

Or I suppose they could but they would be fucking stupid...

TheBlackRider · 07/03/2015 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grimbletart · 07/03/2015 21:58

I'm still waiting for the promised citations from Mary. Especially how sex gives us better teeth, though interestingly it does nothing for men's teeth (allegedly). Perhaps Mary an explain why that is.

grimbletart · 07/03/2015 22:00

Just pondering, if not having sex closes the vagina, does having a lot of sex means you end up with a fanjo like a wizard's sleeve?

grimbletart · 07/03/2015 22:01

Sorry, I can't keep this farce any longer. Mary must think we all came down with the last shower.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 07/03/2015 22:04

I wonder if we'll see a post on Relationships along these lines:

On a recent dentist's visit, my wife was told that she had beautiful teeth, whereas I had to have a filling. AIBU to think she's having an affair?

or

My husband has recently been taken on by the local police as a sniffer hound, WIBU to think he's seeing prostitutes?

mary24go · 07/03/2015 22:08

"do you disagree with my earlier statement, then? You think that consent to sex is something which can be bought and sold? "

If its mine i can sell it, rent it or give it away for what i choose when i choose.

But lets take money off the table and you tell me just what a man has to do to have sex with you?

He obviously cannot buy sex from you with money so i assume if financial reimbursement is not any kind of interest you are ok with him having a low paying job or perhaps being unemployed when you first start dating.

Because the truth is we are talking about a transaction here regardless of the type of currency being gold or emotional etc.

When you are in a sexual relationship what earns him sex when he desires it and what loses him access and how does he regain it?

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 22:08

Weight loss bit is rubbish as well

Otherwise someone would have invented a slimming club based round the premise

PuffinsAreFictitious · 07/03/2015 22:10

I think they did Rufus... wasn't it called the 'F' Plan?

grimbletart · 07/03/2015 22:13

Coming to an MRA site near you soon…..

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 22:14

puffins

Very good Wine

mary24go · 07/03/2015 22:15

"I'm still waiting for the promised citations from Mary. Especially how sex gives us better teeth, though interestingly it does nothing for men's teeth (allegedly). Perhaps Mary an explain why that is."

SURE:

Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)

In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade.

The study was designed to compare persons of comparable circumstances, age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.

Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship for men and women with the following:

  • Improved sense of smell:

After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, its smell center.

  • Reduced risk of heart disease:

In a 2001 follow-on to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half. In reporting these results, the co-author of the study, Shah Ebrahim Shah Ebrahim , Ph.D., displayed the well-loved British gift for understatement: “The relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest.”

  • Weight loss, overall fitness:

Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories–about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men’s Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

  • Reduced depression:

Such was the implication of a 2002 study of 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.

  • Pain-relief:

Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.

  • Less-frequent colds and flu:

Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

  • Better bladder control:

Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.

  • Better teeth:

Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest–even Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted, parenthetically, that sexual etiquette usually demands the brushing of one’s teeth before and/or after intimacy, which, by itself, would help promote better oral hygiene.

  • A happier prostate:

Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated. Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it’s better to evict them. Regular old sex could do the job. But if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go, especially for the non-monogamous male. Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man’s risk of cancer by up to 40%. That’s because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. So, if you want the all the purported benefits of flushing with none of the attendant risk, go digital. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.

While possession of a robust appetite for sex–and the physical ability to gratify it–may not always be the cynosure of perfect health, a reluctance to engage can be a sign that something is seriously on the fritz, especially where the culprit is an infirm erection.

Dr. J. Francois Eid J. Francois Eid , a urologist with Weill Medical College of Cornell University and New York Presbyterian Hospital, observes that erectile dysfunction is extension of vascular system. A lethargic member may be telling you that you have diseased blood vessels elsewhere in your body. “It could be a first sign of hypertension or diabetes or increased cholesterol levels. It’s a red flag that you should see your doctor.” Treatment and exercise, says Dr. Eid, can have things looking up again: “Men who exercise and have a good heart and low heart rate, and who are cardio-fit, have firmer erections. There very definitely is a relationship.”

Dr. Claire Bailey Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman’s overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman’s tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

Dr. George Winch Jr. George Winch Jr. , an obstetrician/gynecologist in Elko, Nev., concurs. If a woman is pre-menopausal and otherwise healthy, says Dr. Winch, her having an extraordinary amount of intercourse ought not to pose a problem. “I don’t think women can have too much intercourse,” he says, “so long as no sexually transmitted disease is introduced and there’s not an inadvertent pregnancy. Sometimes you can have a lubrication problem. If you have that, there can be vaginal excoriation–vaginal scrape.”

Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: “She hasn’t had intercourse in three years. Just isn’t interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It’s a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse. I told her, ‘Look, you’d better buy a vibrator or you’re going to lose function there.’”

As for men, urologist Eid says it’s definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than may actually be good for them.

The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you’d just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

“Yes,” says Dr. Eid, “It is possible for a young man who is very forceful and who likes rough sex, to damage his erectile tissue.” The drugs increase rigidity; moreover, they make it possible for a man to have second and third orgasms without having to wait out intermission.

“I see it in pro football players,” says Eid. “They use Viagra because they’re so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It’s part of playing football: you play through the pain.” This type of guy doesn’t listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion.”

There’s a reason the penis, in its natural state, undergoes a period of flaccidity: That’s when it takes a breather. The blood within it is replenished with oxygen. “During an erection,” explains Eid, “very little blood flows to the penis. During thrusting, pressure can go as high as 200 mil of water. Zero blood flows into penis at that time.” To absorb oxygen, the tissue must become relaxed. “If you do not allow the penis to rest, then the muscle tissue does not get enough oxygen. The individual gets prolonged erections, gets decreased oxygen to tissue, and could potentially suffer priapism.” (We recommend you get a medical encyclopedia and look it up.) “The muscle becomes so engorged, it’s painful. Pressure inside starts to increase. Cells start dying. More pressure and less blood flow. Eventually the muscle dies. Then there’s scarring. That’s why it’s considered an emergency.”

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 22:15

And grimble Wine

No wine for you mary I think you have had enough

PuffinsAreFictitious · 07/03/2015 22:18

Wow... the copy paste skilz are strong with this one Grin

And I can't really take credit Rufus, it's a misquote from Shirley Valentine

I'll enjoy the Wine though

Jessica147 · 07/03/2015 22:19

Lols, mary, my dp doesn't earn sex from me. We have sex when we both feel like it. It isn't a thing to be earned, or a prize to be won. It is an activity we sometimes like to do together.

And no, I wouldn't care if he was unemployed. I love him for who he is, not how much money he earns thank god or we'd have been over a long time ago

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 22:21

puffins

I even read it Blush

I will stick with toothpaste....that's all I'm saying

PuffinsAreFictitious · 07/03/2015 22:27

I read it too. Interesting contributors. A man who does penis implants, a GP specialising in children's health, a massive quote from a guy who does tarot readings on Facebook and an OBGYN who lost admitting privileges at his local hospital.....

BriarRainbowshimmer · 07/03/2015 22:27

The pro-prostitution view of sex is so gross. No lust and mutuality involved. "Earn sex"? I can feel my vagina shriveling.