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Original poster

Feminist Pub 17: The Bluestocking frolics in the fells and fens of feminism

986 replies

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 07/02/2015 19:25

This is the 17th incarnation of the Feminist Pub!

Here be goats, cannons and chat on feminism and related themes. Also snacks. And booze, copious booze.

Welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 10/02/2015 19:18

Bloody trolls.

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 10/02/2015 19:20

I have had to spend the whole day sat next to a man who has tapped his foot, then tapped his pen against his teeth and then clicked his pen on and off endlessly.

I am surprised I am not in a cell.

UptoapointLordCopper · 10/02/2015 20:05

Eeek puffins.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 10/02/2015 20:07

Lol, all I could think was....

Is this Buffy's breather? From the other day.

DS taps, it's one of his stims, but I can tune that out, this guy though, was going for some kind of award.

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 20:14

Hmmm - I think I might tap my pen rather a lot when I'm working. I'm probably irritating the crap out of my colleaguesBlush

My New Years resolution was to only do my job (and not anyone else's). Trouble is my secretary is off sick again and I'd really like my expenses to be reimbursed. What to do....

UptoapointLordCopper · 10/02/2015 20:17

Oubliette My resolution is to do only my job, and sometimes other people's jobs, but only if it's to my definite advantage. Wink Everyone for herself. Grin

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 20:32

I'm going to find another secretary to do it for me. My secretary is useless and HR are involved monitoring her performance etc. I need to make sure that anything she doesn't do gets logged, in the hope that she will eventually get sacked (I know it sounds harsh, but HR have already been involved for almost 2 years, and I'd just like a secretary who actually does his or her job for once).

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 10/02/2015 20:34

It doesn't sound harsh. My secretary back in the day was bloody amazing. Bu I've seen what a difference a poor one makes. Performance management is just such a painful drawn out process, isn't it.

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 20:48

I just find it so draining. She has zero initiative - if I don't specifically ask her to do it, it doesn't get done. So if I'm travelling I have to specify the precise flight and hotel and remember to tell her I need a car to the airport (and even then I have to tell her to print the tickets/itinerary). If I need her to print a letter for me to sign, I have to tell her precisely which template to use and where the file copy needs to go (and then check it actually gets sent - a couple of times she's just put a copy on file and not sent the letter off). And she constantly complains about how much she hates her job so do us all a favour and resign

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 20:51

I realised last year that I was compensating for her uselessness. My male colleague wasn't (we share a secretary). I decided I needed to adopt his approach and stop facilitating her incompetence. I still find it hard sometimes. I don't like causing a fuss and piling extra work onto the other secretaries.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 10/02/2015 20:53

Ah yes, I've come across a few of those in my time.

My main secretary was amazing. More of the "You asked me to bind the signature copy of the document, so I've done a standard covering letter if you just want to look over and sign and I've booked the courier" type.

PetulaGordino · 10/02/2015 21:06

Putting more work on the other secretaries is likely to move things along more quickly. A couple of years ago I got a promotion but my manager couldn't get sign-off to advertise my previous role (senior management denied there was a hiring freeze Hmm). I had to accept the promotion on the proviso that I would also cover my previous role (yes I'm a mug). It was only after six months of this, when I was on my knees with so much work and had lost all enthusiasm for the promotion, that I realised that I had to make other people uncomfortable for things to change and push the work of my previous role back or forward onto others. Within a few weeks the vacancy was being advertised as other people complained to their managers that there was no one to do the work. I had enabled it by being so compliant and a good little worker and trying to avoid inconveniencing others.

Sadly the damage was done and having lost the enthusiasm for te promotion (what with bein totally unable to hit the ground running as my time was so split), I left the company and industry last year totally disillusioned

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 21:13

We have a recruitment freeze. One of my colleagues left 17 months ago. I'm still doing most of his role as well as my own. The secretary situation isn't helping my stress levels. And we've just been told we have to cover some extra work for a colleague at another site who is off sick. No idea how we'll manage this (fortunately it won't land on my desk, as it is outside my current expertise and I'm not open to any 'development opportunity' suggestions).

PetulaGordino · 10/02/2015 21:20

They do it because they know you (plural) care, both about your own work/clients (depending on industry) and about your colleagues. It was caring about colleagues' workloads that really scuppered me.

PetulaGordino · 10/02/2015 21:27

Huh I'm not sure why I put "plural" in there. It made sense at the time but I think I was going to say something slightly different and now it doesn't make sense

OublietteBravo · 10/02/2015 21:34

I read it as: we're all in it together (i.e. myself and my colleagues), and that 'they' know that 'we' will find a way of coping. So it did make sense.

PetulaGordino · 10/02/2015 21:39

Yes I expect that's what I meant Grin

Original poster
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 10/02/2015 22:37

Not that I practice what I preach but "sure, I can take on X - should I give Y to someone else or push it back a month" type response is supposedly a good strategy..,

OP posts:
FibonacciSeries · 11/02/2015 09:54

Hello everyone!

It's amazing how conditioned we get to "being nice". I'm in Asia for a few weeks and have been emailed by a recruiter about a position for which, frankly, I am a great candidate. He wants to speak on the phone immediately, I Skype, he said nope, phone. My instinct was to play nice and receive his call but SO MANY TIMES I spend half an hour on the phone with recruiters to then never hear again from them, that this time I've told him that at £1.50 per minute, I'm just not willing to make the investment.

A small part of me is horrified at what I've done, but the rational part of me thinks "F this S, if he is really interested he'll find a way to make it happen".

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 11/02/2015 09:58

Well done!

What is wrong with Skype, other than that he wants to fiddle about with other jobs during the call and not give you his full attention?

ChunkyPickle · 11/02/2015 10:06

Get a Skype In number - they call a UK number, but it just forwards to Skype on your computer (which you could then forward to any other number you like of course)

Saved a fortune doing this when DP and I were in different countries but still needed to be able to randomly get hold of him.

I know what you mean with recruiters, they are so persistent though, you eventually have to be as brutal with them as they are with you.

Speaking of jobs, I've just hired a nanny in preparation for mine, and as a consequence I'm feeling so light and unstressed, having been able to concentrate on my freelancing for the past two days with no childminder dropoffs, no school pickups - I've even baked some biscuits! This must be how DP feels all the time, the bastard! (light hearted.. but I'm clearly not cut out to be a SAHM)

FibonacciSeries · 11/02/2015 10:48

He's now agreed to Skype Grin

FloraFox · 11/02/2015 11:01

Go Fib!

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 11/02/2015 15:11

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