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Original poster

Feminist Pub 17: The Bluestocking frolics in the fells and fens of feminism

986 replies

AKnickerfulOfMenace · 07/02/2015 19:25

This is the 17th incarnation of the Feminist Pub!

Here be goats, cannons and chat on feminism and related themes. Also snacks. And booze, copious booze.

Welcome!

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 11/03/2015 13:41

I took DH's name - partly because back then most women did (I had a few friends who were Dr OriginalName/Mrs HisName) but also mine was a frankly unattractive common name. I didn't realise till it was too late that it had the virtue of everyone being able to spell it and pronounce it. DH's always needs spelling and people can't hear the difference between m and n on the phone a lot of the time.

kickassangel · 11/03/2015 14:04

"Are you sure?", when I spell my name.

"Oh, wait, I'm 5 and haven't learnt my own name yet."

(Do they ask your DH if he's sure?)

PetulaGordino · 11/03/2015 17:08

Lol I have a v long first name and could only remember the first five letters until I was about 7yo!

UptoapointLordCopper · 11/03/2015 17:33

I have a rather long first name too. Usually you can hear their hearts sink when you spell your very short non-intuitive surname, and then their hearts sink even further when you spell your first name. Grin

DH has a very short first name and everyone gets that wrong too, even when they reply to emails with his name written in it ...

You can't have everything in this life. At least you certainly can't have your name right, it seems!

SconeRhymesWithGone · 11/03/2015 18:16

I kept my name when we married, but I like the idea of taking a new joint name from the place where you met. Unfortunately, though, Tallahassee doesn't go too well with our first names. Grin

drspouse · 11/03/2015 19:39

DH has a very short first name and everyone gets that wrong too, even when they reply to emails with his name written in it ...

Several older men in my office seem completely unable to process that women could be, say, Liz OR Lizzie and these are not actually spelled the same, and could refer to two different people. Meaning that if they just type part of the name and don't bother looking at the email properly the mail will go to the wrong person.

I am willing to bet quite a lot of money they don't mix up Albert and Bertie. It's these silly girly names, they are all the same.

AnnieLobeseder · 11/03/2015 19:47

My nothing-do-with-feminism-and-all-me-me-me rant of the day.

  1. I had two job interviews last week. I though they both went really well, both jobs were awesome for slightly different reasons and I was having happy dreams of weighing up the pros and cons of each and even possibly playing the employers off against each other when then both made me an offer to make sure I got an awesome deal. But: a) I completely failed to get Job 1 - didn't get called to 2nd interview and actually got negative feedback from the interview. This has hit me really hard. b) while Job 2 assured me that the offer was pretty much on the way barring some minor admin details, they said I would hear from them by Wednesday at the latest. It is now Past Wednesday.
  2. I have menstrual hormonal rage. Which make is not making dealing with 1) any easier.
  3. DD1, who has recently been uprooted from the only life she has ever known and chucked in a new school, new village etc in Y5 appears to fianlly be feeling the impact of the move. Added to this that she, too, is in the grip of hormonal chaos since she is 9yo and entering puberty, she has been in floods of tears all week "but I don't know why I'm crying or angry at everyone, which makes it worse!". Poor kid. Only another 50-odd years of feeling like that ahead of you. Sad
  4. See point 2 and apply also to point 3.
  5. Tomorrow morning DH has to leave at the crack of dawn for work. He usually works from home. Coincidentally, tomorrow I also need to get DD1 to school for 8am for a school trip, then head back home and help DD1 dress up for (week late) world book day and back to school by 9am.
  6. See point 2 and apply also to point 5.

Time for wine and chocolate.

Original poster
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 11/03/2015 19:53

Can you dress dd2 up first and go for a hot chocolate with her near school? Save one trip and give yourself something nice to do?

OP posts:
UptoapointLordCopper · 11/03/2015 19:54

Annie Flowers and Wine and Cake

ErrolTheDragon · 11/03/2015 20:05

I don't know Dr - there can be different name problems for men. For instance, the company DH used to work for appeared to have a hiring policy that at least 60% of its staff must be called Dave. For a while, mine had a 40% Mike quota.

SoMuchForSubtlety · 11/03/2015 20:09

Annie that sounds extremely rubbish. Cake Wine Cake Wine

Original poster
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 11/03/2015 20:14

I too have worked with many Daves.

OP posts:
PetulaGordino · 11/03/2015 20:23

There was a chart circulating the other day that showed there were more CEOs called Dave than there are women CEOs (I forget the exact parameters though).

Mind you I've worked with a fair number of Sarahs and Catherines too

AnnieLobeseder · 11/03/2015 20:26

Sadly, no, Knickerful. We are Very Rural.

drspouse · 11/03/2015 20:33

there can be different name problems for men. For instance, the company DH used to work for appeared to have a hiring policy that at least 60% of its staff must be called Dave. For a while, mine had a 40% Mike quota.

I think our office had a Peter criterion for a while. None of them ever called Pete, either.

Dragonlette · 11/03/2015 20:49

That sounds horrible Annie Flowers, I feel your pain on the hormone front. Dds with hormones is a loooong phase, my dd1 is hormonal this week and has cried a few times at me, and I'm not great at dealing with it either because I'm hormonal this week too.

There is the opportunity for me to go for a promotion at work and I need to make my mind up whether to apply by Friday. It's not really what I want to do, but then I feel as if I should be going for it, because I've been teaching for 10 years now and it's sort of expected that if I'm ever going to go for promotion then now would be the time to do it, and there won't really be any promotion opportunities within my department any time soon because my hod and 2id are pretty settled in their jobs for a number of years yet. I sort of feel like this is me deciding on the rest of my career, either stay as I am, where I'm pretty happy actually, or go for the promotion and start climbing the career ladder where the additional money may well not make up for the additional stress.

PetulaGordino · 11/03/2015 21:09

Annie massive sympathies, I know exactly how it feels trying to maintain optimism whilst trying not to get your hopes too high, and that seemingly endless slog of applying and interviewing. It feels trite to say the right thing will come along, but I do believe for you it will Flowers

Plus worrying about DD, poor thing

OublietteBravo · 11/03/2015 21:10

My office obviously can't function without a high number of Michaels and Steves (it used to be Johns - but they've mostly retired now).

The kids friends all seem to have dads called David - it's v.confusing.

AnnieLobeseder · 11/03/2015 21:11

My life seems to be overpopulated with Jos and Lindas, though some come disguised as Joe or Lynda. Only one Linda has actually been my boss, though. Oh, and one Jo. She was horrid.

DD1 and I went out for a run together this afternoon. I think it was very therapeutic for both of us. We saw a baby deer and everything!

No advice on the career, Dragonlette. One of the reasons I'm moving away from bench science is because while I enjoy doing it, in the long term I would be expected to progress my career away from the bench, and the in-wet-science-but-away-from-the-bench progression, ie telling everyone else what science to do and writing grants, has never remotely appealed to me! So I understand what you mean.

AnnieLobeseder · 11/03/2015 21:14

Well, Petula, you are familiar with Job 2 - it's the one from way back when that you sent me, but they've beefed it up a bit and seem to want me in there. If ever fate seemed to be pushing me into a job, this appears to be it. But they Didn't Call!!! Aaaaargh!

The stress may just kill me.

EBearhug · 11/03/2015 21:27

We have a Peter quota. Before I was here, they apparently also had a female Peta. And our team in the Czech Republic appears to have an Adam quota.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 12/03/2015 12:54

2 small boasts:

I am presently MNetting from the roof of Selfridges (gods! I miss living near London)

Yesterday, I was in the presence of MN Royalty and didn't feel any need to doff my cap or tug my forelock.

Nothing to do with feminism, I'm just having a lovely couple of days and wanted to share the smiles.

FibonacciSeries · 12/03/2015 13:21

I could do with a bit of Selfridges at the moment! Envy

I'm still looking for work. Have just stalked nosed about in that ubiquitous 'professionals network' website to find out that someone I had to once fire for being utterly incompetent has managed to blag himself a VERY senior role somewhere else Angry. He never lasts longer than a year or two in his roles but still keeps climbing up the corporate ladder! IMO, he benefits extensively from positive stereotyping and speaks such convoluted garbage that people think he's super clever.

AnnieLobeseder · 12/03/2015 14:55

Now Thursday is nearly finished and still nothing!!!! Are they trying to kill me with the suspense!?!

FibonacciSeries · 12/03/2015 15:01

Call them? (easier said than done, I know, but I personally can't stand suspense)