Feminist Pub 15: The Bluestocking hangs up its, err, stocking and hopes for a chatty Christmas and a Feminist New Year

[YonicSleighdriver]

Festive greetings!

This is the 15th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, get some booze and snacks and hang out! Lurkers, newbies and oldbies welcome.

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and we cheer each other up when patriarchy grinds us down...

Last pub drinkie linkie:

Pub 14

by "one" i mean new charity. not madina landsberg of course (i realised my phrasing looked dodgy)

It's all about the REF today. But I stayed in my office and looked up when the next Wagner opera will be staged somewhere near...

Another Southerner here - to the left of London a tiny bit.

We had a woman (well, when she started, girl) first liner (the people who get to do the grunt work of swapping out mice, re-imaging people's computers etc.) and she was harassed so badly by the traders (who make the money, and so are next to God) that she swapped careers and moved to HR (the people who were no help to her when she was having the trouble - a kind of infiltration scheme if you like).

How would we feel about the occasional (very cute, easily pacified with food) 1 year old at these things? We're not uptight like the people that seem to think that a mother popping into a company pub lunch with her 2 month old is unreasonable, and probably an uninsured liability and health and safety hazard (another thread) are we?

I don't mind toddlers/babies/children as long as I'm not responsible for them.

Though the other day I was just sitting there minding my own business and a toddler came up to me and poked me in my arm. I went at her and she poked me again.

I hesitate to ask - but by spray, do you mean what I think you mean?

I don't know what's happened, but my browser has got lodged in mobile mode on my laptop, and I'm actually quite liking it. No adverts, and it highlights my comments

It was helpful redirecting of the water fountains by standing on them. Some people got a bit wet (not us though. )

just shows how motherhood changes you...

Oh God! I'm being rude to somebody on a thread. >

Far northern feminist here. Not in IT or academia but in FE. York only about 3 hours on train. I love York!

I love Melody on CBBC. Passes the Bechdel test every time. Plus great music.

I like Melody too.
There is an advert in cinemas at the moment for something by Hasbro called Rebelle which basically looks like a toy designed to have an advert aimed at girls shown alongside The Hunger Games. It's a nerf gun for girls featuring a cool girl in a forest. While ideally toys would not be gendered, or marketed at one gender or another if they must be, at least maybe we are getting to the point where gradually the same toys will be marketed separately to different genders? of course maybe that is not much of a victory if this means that everything (even exactly the same items) will have to be marketed by appealing to entirely different aspirational qualities depending on gender.

thesametoys will be marketed separately to different genders
Yes - that way you can sell it twice.

Can I come in for a bit? Still stupidly busy with work, so not been around much lately.

Upto - You were? I'm a beer or two in myself, so I didn't notice .

I have a question on a rather trivial thing - do people (men and women) with larger hands who sew have to buy special equipment? Dp has been using my pinking shears tonight to cut out circles of fabric to put on top of the jars of jam he has made, and the scissor handles are too small for him to hold comfortably (he did it anyway). But they're just ordinary ones, nothig fancy, so they must be designed for women's hands which tend to be smaller

I have huge hands, but most of my sewing kit is inherited from my Granny, so I'm not sure if they are the norm now.

I'm going to have a small rant. Sorry, not feminist at all.

DS2 is bloody amazing. ASD, various co morbidities, plays guitar so well he's going to do a degree in it. When DH and I got married, DS2 chose to change his name, legally to DHs name, because he wanted to be part of a 'real family'. Vile SiL has today sent him a Christmas gift of chocolate, which he doesn't eat, but hey, it's the thought that counts however, it's addressed to his old name. He's really hurt. His face actually fell. He is such a kind, caring soul and he's been through so much, is it too much to ask that she addresses something to him properly. My heart is breaking for him.

This is not about wifework either, this is the first time ever that she has sent him anything, usually DBro sends to his side and she sorts her side out.

I love the idea of your DP sewing lids on jam jars. It's not until I think about these things and how odd they seem, that I realize how socially conditioned I am. One of my (female) colleagues had a good cry today after a horrible stressful meeting and afterwards, when she felt better, we discussed how we'd never seen a man crying at work but nearly all the women we work with have had a good old bawl at some point. Do you think that men are so socially conditioned not to cry publicly, that they just can't do it? It must be awful! After, further discussion we did wonder if men are less likely to get upset all together and more likely just to assume that everyone else is being stupid

Hi oubliette!

puffins - oh, that is awful.

Incidentally, I don't think it is not feminist. It's about her assuming she can call him what she likes (or possibly to make a point?) because his feelings are less important. It's the same exclusionary tactic. If you're a feminist you notice exclusions.

rosa - a friend of mine (male) never cries. His dad has actually had therapy recently, because when his mother (my friend's grandma) died, he was unable to process his emotions because he's got such a tight rein on them. And my friend knows this, but somehow he can't seem to let go of the conditioning that crying would be terribly and unmanly and awful. This is a reasonably feministy bloke, who knows how odd it all is, but he can't step out of it.

That said, I cry easily but not in professional situations. I used to, and a right wanker picked me up on it with sufficient misogynistic arsery that I never have again.

That's shit Puffins

I got a Christmas card today addressed to Dr and Mrs HisName. From my parents. My mother (it's in her handwriting) knows that (a) I've never changed my surname and (b) I use the title 'Dr' (just like DH does). I was