Shia LeBouf rape,sexism at its fineist.

[FayKorgasm]

My facebook is full articles about Shias rape. I am so sorry he went through this. However not one article mentions his clothing at the time,alcohol consumption,past partners,whether he knew the person. Not even "rape" or alledged rape. Pick up any article about a woman talking about her rape and it is full of what she was wearing etc.
Fucking deprressing really.

Thank you Buffy that means a lot.

Flossy, the freeze reaction is very common. I believe you.

From the women I spoke to in the support group it is a common reaction. Still hate myself for it though.

Thank you Yoni

Flossy I rather heroically fought off a rapist that violently attacked me. I pushed him off me, screamed the house down and he ran off. But I still feel scared to walk out alone, almost anywhere, to this day 30 years later. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Perpetrators of these crimes need to be punished for the damage they cause people for life, not for the damage that happens then and there during the incident.

Flossy, the same thing happened to me on a date.

I even carried on dating him for a while afterwards in a futile effort to "normalise" it and convince myself that such a shocking act hadn't really happened to me.

I believe you.

Just because someone doesn't refuse doesn't mean that they want it.

Buffy

< shifts Buffy out the way and arranges her for her >

Okay then how about

Buffy...

Thank you all

Willkommen and AF

Flossy I've never been raped but I can completely understand your reaction. I've had sex because I thought I'd been leading someone on and now 'owed' him, so every time he asked if it was ok for him to do something I kept hearing myself say yes even though I didn't mean it. He was a lovely guy as well, I know he would far rather I'd just said no than done things I wasn't comfortable with It was a case of being overwhelmed with panic at having to make decisions like that with no time to think about it. So I can definitely see how the freeze reaction happens to people in a far more terrifying situation like yours, definitely

as well to everyone who's shared their stories

Whoever made the point upthread about it being similar to prostitution, by the way, I do see the comparison in terms of professional integrity (not that we know whether this was his reason for not reacting), but I think there are some significant differences too. Women enter prostitution knowing that they'll have to have sex with people they don't want to as a part of the job (whether that's a free choice or they're forced/coerced/feel they have no other option). For a performance artist it's something that they may not have considered as a possibility, and so they find themselves having to respond immediately and unexpectedly to something equally traumatic. Not that either is any better or less deserving of sympathy than the other, but I imagine they're probably quite different psychologically

I don't know if it's true to say that this case has been treated much more respectfully though - in fact it's only among feminists that I've really seen people sympathising with his story. Most of the comments I've seen on news articles are either dismissive or mocking, along the lines of 'why didn't he fight back', 'he's just looking for attention', 'he probably wanted it really' and so on.

I really hope Shia writes about his experience and doesn't turn it into another performance art work though.

all round

Flossy...... We believe you

I am so sorry that happened to you.

I don't get why Celeste is getting such a hard time. She was commenting about the unique case of Shia Leboeuf, not anyone else's awful experiences. Let's face it, no one does wanky self promotion suffering for their art quite like Shia Leboeuf.

If you can tell someone to stop and you don't, then it's not fucking rape.

^This is why she is getting a hard time. Her comments are not only directed at this particular person.
I never opened my mouth. I didn't attempt to stop my rapist. So in Celestes view I was not raped.

I think it's interesting that a man gets disbelieved and there's a huge outcry but that's what happens to women ALL THE TIME and no one gives a flying fuck.

Thank you Puffin

I can't put words into Celeste's mouth, as I have no idea which way she meant it. But, to me, I read it as she was talking about a specific case of a guy sat in his own art installation with people at his beck and call and a bag on his head. And by HIM not stopping it didn't mean that he was raped. Not that all people who didn't cry out or stop it weren't raped, which as DF says, happens to women ALL the time.

However, I can see why it could have been interpreted in a more personal, hurtful way.