Feminist Pub 14: The Bluestocking, a place for feminist chat and feminists to chat

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

This is the 14th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, flop onto the chaise lounges with some

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and a variety of drinks and snacks. And stools/bar counters at female friendly heights. And a crèche in the back somewhere

Will link the last pub in the next post!

how extraordinary balls

i have a failsafe strategy there. if you think your approach might be perceived as sexist, don't approach at all

I bet the seminars are full of 'nice guys' - who think women are [paraphrasing, can't remember where I read] machines that you put kindness coins in and get sex out.

Thank you Yonic - a home for my geeky tendencies! (I once said to a friend "I like to think I'm in touch with my inner geek", to which she fixed me with a Paddington stare and said very firmly "There is nothing inner about your geek.")

Congratulations karma

I'd really like to rant about my week at work but it's all confidential. I've been forcibly reminded this week just how often men fuck up the lives of women and children. I've never seen a child so messed up by a woman, but I see loads who are emotionally/physically/sexually damaged by men. Obviously I'm not saying there aren't female abusers, but all the victims I've met are women and children, all the perpetrators are men.

Dragonlette

Argh. I realise I have been a bit shit recently. I don't actually join in the conversation, I just blunder in and go 'me me me'. Sorry. I shall sit in the corner and listen quietly. Not really up to serious discussion as the baby Will Not Sleep. Up every fucking hour for the last few nights and I'm on my knees.

Frau - I saw that thread and stepped well away as I know nothing about that area. I am so vanilla you could make ice cream from me. But even I knew it was a bad idea. I didn't, however, know what a munch was. I had heard the term but assumed it was far, far, ruder.

Lurcio - Geek is cool these days. The geeks shall inherit the earth. DD1 has serious geek tendencies. She'll go far. Our family all also do a good line in the Hard Stare.

Sorry to all who've been on those rapist threads. I hope you're holding up. Honestly, is it really that hard to understand that victim blaming is more complex than just 'it was her fault'. Do people really believe that 'it wasn't her fault, but...' means it isn't victim blaming?

"Do people really believe that 'it wasn't her fault, but...' means it isn't victim blaming?"

Yes, I think some people do!

I've finished my real life wine. Bah!

I have just finished my one beer. Which I am drinking on my own because DH is away. And even if I had another, I would not be allowed another because of the boring boring boring diet. I am sick of being overweight post-pregnancy. The Baby is 6 months. Tis no excuse for not being a healthy weight anymore, but it is snoresville to get there.

Penguins my baby is 4years, and I'm still a long way from a healthy weight. In fact I haven't been a healthy weight since before dd1 was born 15 years ago. I'll get there in my own time (I think I'm going to take a LONG time to get to a healthy weight)

It is so hard isn't it? I am never naturally skinny, but I normally fall within healthy. But pregnancy, wham, two stone (after the baby and the fluid and all that have gone. Two stone of fat). First time I ate everything I saw. Two stone. Next twice I have been careful - still two stone

I am doing weight watchers, which has worked for me in the past. I suit diets that let me do what the hell I like. I tried Slimming World and it was a disaster. Triggered me into some fairly disordered eating I'd not struggled with for 15 years or so. Yes, I am a cliché.

For me it was the other way round. WW didn't work at all for me but SW did work when I was actually doing it. I never really did red and green days, all my days were a sort of muddy brown (they let you do that now, it's called Extra Easy, which it is as long as you follow it). My problem is that I never stick to a plan long term, then I fall off the wagon spectacularly and eat all the chocolate I can see.

ChunkyPickle, I was thinking about your hampers - can't you just give them feedback that it would be a lot easier to administer if they just did a hamper that didn't worry about gender, and would be fine for either a boy or girl?

Hello!

As a very new de-lurker I just wanted to come over and say hi. Very excited to (finally) be here now that the scary first post is out of the way to finally say that you're all flipping fantastic! I'm glad there's such a lovely hangout for like minded folk to discuss important issues AND get a G&T on an evening - what could be better.

50shades, welcome to you! Pull up a chair and have a

50SON, welcome. Great name!

Thank you!

is in hand. Off to skim through the thread to see what I've missed so far

Hi 50 shades.

I am so tired. My thyroid really is fucked and it is making me so tired and my urgent appointment with an endocrinologist isn't until Dec 18 and I am tired!

I know what new born baby tired is and this is just as bad, worse maybe cos it gives me a sore throat and a headaches and swollen glands and it makes me tired! Did I mention I'm tired? I just need a doctor to wave a magic wand and make me feel all better again.

Ok, self pitying whine over, but Dh is out with work and I have no-one to talk to. It takes months to get thyroid crap sorted out so even my shiny new meds won't make me feel any better for a while.

I have given up on rape threads, just not worth the effort. Sometimes I am tempted to go on there and quote Diana Scully, who interviewed convicted rapist. One of whom was also a serial murderer. He thought of himself as a nice guy because he was kind to his victims, and even gentle while he raped them and stuck his blade into their hearts. Yep, that's how nice he was.

Cripes kickass, that's horrific.

Hope you get the thyroid thing sorted- sounds awful. I had my thyroid checked when I was feeling all out of sorts - but it was normal. Just lack of sleep for me I think - I'm a terrible one staying up too late. Ooops again. And welcome 50shades

Btw, I sent in a complaint about that godawful radio Norfolk bloke - it's not often I actually get round to complaining - but REALLY ?!?!

Hello and welcome, 50Shades!

So sorry you are not feeling well kickass.

I know what you mean about the rape threads. I just have to stay away. The thread about the domestic violence survivor with the safe room who has gone to court over the bedroom tax is pretty depressing too.

I'm still reeling a bit over the thread a few days ago about Time Magazine suggesting "feminist" as a word that should be banned, which was invaded by trolls posting images of violence against women. I must be pretty innocent as an internet user because I had never experienced anything like that before. It felt very personal.

I need a hot chocolate with frangelico. Is there frangelico in the pub? It's damned cold here in Florida.

I've been forcibly reminded this week just how often men fuck up the lives of women and children. sad

Dragonlette, I just wanted to reply to your post here. I am not involved in any way professionally, but in the last couple of years I really have come across an awful lot of this among female friends of mine. A friend's dh turning out to be a horrific paedophile, friend raped by her ex-partner, friend left by her dh who is currently making her life an absolute misery. It's like it's become an epidemic in my life - all these friends (seemingly) happy lives have literally disintegrated before my eyes.

OMG scone, I missed that - but I remember it happening a while back on a different thread.

I've complained about the Norfolk person. Awaiting non-apology with bated breath

Yes that was awful, Scone. I reported it and then in the MN reply got one of the horrific image in my inbox. Just horrible. I don't know what they have to gain from that.

Welcome 50shades!

I am in the throes of new job information overload so brain struggling to engage with anything else at the moment, but trying to keep up and thinking of everyone who has tough stuff going on