Feminist Pub 14: The Bluestocking, a place for feminist chat and feminists to chat

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

This is the 14th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, flop onto the chaise lounges with some

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and a variety of drinks and snacks. And stools/bar counters at female friendly heights. And a crèche in the back somewhere

Will link the last pub in the next post!

Thanks for the support - I knew you were the people to talk it in the early hours.

I've tried to raise a complaint and wrote to my adviser. I keep being told that yes, I should be on this course, there's been nothing wrong with my advice. I'm paying $$$ for this MA, and if they admit they screwed up, I could potentially start asking for a refund, so they won't want to do that. The actual class I'm taking now is meaningless and stressful. Everyone else is complaining, other people have walked out of lessons, cried, refused to attend etc. so it is pretty dire, but the professor is a long standing tenured ex-administrator. No-one is going to stand up against her. My general complaints about poor advice keep being brushed aside, although I am now meeting with my adviser in early Dec (I can't do this week, then it's Thanksgiving, and guess what? My adviser is only available one day a week!)

For the medical stuff I have reservations. I don't want my legitimate (I believe) complaints to be brushed aside under the guise of 'she's stressed, can't help it' because of medical things. Also, I'm being tested for stuff right now (and yes, it could all be because of my crappy thyroid) so don't have an 'illness' to claim for.

Last year I had an emergency appendectomy after being ill for a month. I had a doctor's note, but received no leniency or special consideration beyond being allowed to miss one class and it being recorded as medical rather than just absent. My grades had slipped slightly while I was sick, but there was no retro-active leniency, even though I'd been running a fever and unwell for a full month. I was back at work and college, at full pace, less than 6 days after the op.

My subject? Women's and Gender Studies. Absolutely NO support for students returning to education after a long gap, or any help for part timers like me. Which is, I believe, a case of indirect discrimination against women. If anyone ever admits to the mistakes, then I could raise a shit storm under that banner, but really I just want to get decent grades and feel like they've listened to me. I am very aware of the irony here.

Anyway, enough about me. Hi to new people. Pictures of fluffy kittens help, as did my real life cats, who sat with me last night.

I always just buy fancy dress. cba with making it, but I love Halloween.

For Halloween one teacher wore a shirt which was white with horizontal blue stripes, and a couple of 'black holes' on the left as you looked at him. He was loose leaf paper. No-one got it. We were all standing around talking about it, and he was saying how over 50 people had asked him and he'd had to explain. Then ONE woman walked past in a rush, and said, "oh, loose leaf, very clever" as she breezed past.

Pops in to stroke the goat, pops out again....

I'll have a pint of cherry beer in the beer garden please. We do have a beer garden, right?

Buffy ...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all

Yes we have a beer garden. With a pergola. And a cannon.

I want to post a whiney woe is me post. Shake some sense into me

Whinging allowed.

Yonic thank you.

Ok so how do I move from being the way I am to being normal. I don't think I can do normal.

Time out and some concentrating on mum and me and less kink in my life I think.

What's up Frau?

Frau, what has promoted you to want to change?

hang on ...

n/c

friend is in a bad relationship. I'm trying to help her but I can't I am worn out and very tired. I've had to step away from some stuff because I just can't bang my head against a brick wall anymore. I have myself and my wee family and my mum and dad to think of too and I just can't split myself twenty ways. I'm tired. So so tired. But when I go to bed I can't sleep.

Plus (shallow alert!) I'm flirting with someone who isn't into the same sort of stuff as I am (I don't think! Radar isn't pinging) and I'd like to see if I can step that up.

Ok.

I think it's ok to step away from your friend. Can you suggest counselling, GP or even Samaritans (you don't have to be suicidal) for her to speak to - share the burden a bit?

With the flirting - try not to overthink (ha! Feminists often accused of overthinking!) and go with it whilst it feels good?

TBH if I was any sort of a friend I would go to her. Today. Now. But she lives 2hrs drive away and I'm so tired

I know - queen of overthinking, me. Ho hum.

Hello Novida!

Kickass Seems your college is a bit on the side of irony overload. Hope you get through the course. Post all you like. If we can't help we can at least listen.

Buffy Hahaha.

hello folks

Hi Petula

Hi Petula

Frau why do you think you're so emotionally involved in your friend's relationship problems?

Hello everyone!

kickass No advice but .

Novida welcome to the pub!

Frau

Welcome to the pub Novida.

Kickass I think it is time to take your complaints higher than you have done so far. I haven't been at uni/college for a long time, but there must be people at the dean level and higher who will listen. If you have already been to the dean, then go higher yet again, its time to escalate the problem up the hierarchy tree. What you have described so far about this 'college' is appalling.

Guesswho you have mentioned a friend who is in need, but you are stretched too thin as it is. It is perfectly fine to stand by your boundary and say "I can't take this on". It is up to each of us as individuals to decide what we will and won't take on, and then to defend those boundaries to the hilt with people who try to walk all over them (not actually saying that she is like this). I know it sounds harsh, but the friend has to deal with her relationship problems herself - you cannot do this for her, especially from a 2 hour drive away, just like no one can deal with whatever problems I have from half-way-round the world.

HTH