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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Why a lot of women don't come on the feminism threads...

999 replies

Scarletohello · 30/10/2014 22:38

So I posted this question earlier, why don't more women come on these threads ( considering how many women are on MN)

The replies saddened me. Are we doing something wrong? I remember a thread some time ago asking how many women lurk on the feminism threads but never post. I was shocked by how many women read these threads but didn't feel able to join in. I don't think feminism has to be particularly intellectual and I would like to be able to educate more women about feminism, how it affects women in many different areas of their lives, offer support and talk about what we as women can do about it.

Please have a read of this thread and tell me what your thoughts are. I want us to be as inclusive as possible as it affects us all...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2222959-To-be-a-bit-dismayed-if-4-million-women-visit-this-site-why-are-there-so-few-posts-on-the-feminism-threads

OP posts:
dahKill · 31/10/2014 00:04

Bells, it has been suggested that there be a 'Feminism 101/FAQ' pinned on FWR but I don't know if MNHQ ever replied to the suggestion. I like the idea myself, it could be a whole other debate!

Mitchy1nge · 31/10/2014 00:04

but coffeeinapapercup what is stopping you from opening new threads about the topics you'd like to discuss here?

Hakluyt · 31/10/2014 00:04

Coffee- those things are talked about too- why either/or? Why not all?

dahKill · 31/10/2014 00:05

*Bella not Bells

YonicScrewdriver · 31/10/2014 00:06

There was a gentle intro thread once - now we have the Pub, which is meandering conversation and always open to "interruptions" - ask in there?

plinkyplonks · 31/10/2014 00:10

Because of the amount of women who are aggressive, combative and insulting on Mumsnet - and my particular favourite, those women who seek to hijack entire life experiences i.e. people who claim to know what the 'typical' domestic abuse woman would say, what a feminist would say etc.

Overall, doesn't encourage you that feminism is alive and kicking on Mumsnet.

everydayaschoolday · 31/10/2014 00:12

OK, I've lurked a bit and had a look around - thank you for the invite in. I've commented on one thread, but to be honest I expect to be flamed because I didn't share the OP's opinion. The threads are cliquey, aggressive, and expect everyone to conform to one singular view. I've also learned from 'your' threads that feminism and SAHM are mutually exclusive.

Indeed your OP is pretty insulting in itself:

"I don't think feminism has to be particularly intellectual and I would like to be able to educate more women about feminism"

If you want to know in a nutshell why I won't be back to 'your' feminism boards it is this: I've seen one poster being baited on a thread by someone asking:

"You're just what we needed. An unconstructed old fashioned woman. Do you bake? Please say you bake, and that yo man loves yo cupcakes"

Oh FFS. I bake. I've also got a Degree in Engineering and 5 military medals for operational service. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy baking a fecking cake.

Again, thanks for the invite, but I'll leave your threads for those that enjoy this environment. It's not for me. Even though I am most definitely a feminist.

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:13

plinkyplonks you sound really angry - with MN generally. Have you read any threads on FWR boards (other than this one)?

Coffeeinapapercup · 31/10/2014 00:14

I suppose once you've been accused of being a troll once for disagree with the people it kinda puts you off engaging.

That and to find a separate thread opened up in which people were bitching about another poster. I was just struck with the overwhelming hypocrisy of a board that was meant to be about woman supporting woman.

everydayaschoolday · 31/10/2014 00:15

agree Coffee

sleepdodger · 31/10/2014 00:15

Because generally speaking I find it incredibly far sided, and generally easily outraged
I have replied on a thread on there which confirmed my above statement

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:16

everyday the quote you've put in your post really, really doesn't represent the attitude or atmosphere on FWR boards generally. FWR is the last place on MN I'd expect to see a post like that.

MollyAir · 31/10/2014 00:19

...5 military medals for operational service...

Anyway, I came here to say I must have this T shirt:

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT FIRST IT WILL PISS YOU OFF

Thank you for that.

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:21

Coffee, trolls like to invade FWR boards from time to time.
I know that in the past there was a very regular FWR poster who used to get incredibly exercised about that, and didn't always deal with it particularly wisely.

The 'bitching' thread you've described sounds really bizarre.
Do you not find, though, that there can be bizarre threads on any MN boards?

Of all the MN boards I've posted on and read over the years, I can't think of one that hasn't sometimes had some really odd threads on it.

Hakluyt · 31/10/2014 00:22

Everyday- could you possibly link to that thread please? I've tried to find it but I can't. I can 't ever remember anyone saying that baking was incompatible with feminism. I for nor would be seriously buggered if it was!

BellaSolanum · 31/10/2014 00:23

everyday FWIW I'm a SAHM. I bake, I sew, I love the fashion of the 40's and 50's, and I have a nuclear family (admittedly the last one is unintentional)

I am also 100% feminist, you wouldn't be alone posting on here.

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:23

I'm thinking of using it as standard message on this year's Christmas cards, Molly.

MollyAir · 31/10/2014 00:25

I want it on a mug, as well as a T shirt. In fact, I'll have it as a tattoo.

Coffeeinapapercup · 31/10/2014 00:26

I think FWR tends to assume everyone who disagrees with them is a troll (I believe from my posting on a thread I'm thinking about I was reported repeatedly)

I was actually told that "they couldn't believe that an intelligent woman could hold the opinions I did so they reported me."

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:28

How awful Coffeecup. Can you link to the thread, please?

LittleBearPad · 31/10/2014 00:31

Definitely there's an implication that you're stupid if you don't agree with the groupthink.

Philoslothy · 31/10/2014 00:34

I don't know why I don't post. Partly because the threads so rarely appear in Active Conversations which is how I use MN.

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:36

LittleBearPad - what sort of 'implication'? I mean, what do you see as actually happening 'if you don't agree with groupthink'?

ZombiePuffinsAreREAL · 31/10/2014 00:38

Eceryday, the post in question was mine. And was to someone who, on at thread was being goady. It's neither indicative of my posts nor the way the board goes. If you had read a little further one, you'd have seen that I bake too. It was a joke. We have them here.

Coffeeinapapercup · 31/10/2014 00:39

nope I have name changed since then and I don't intend trawling through my posting history to find it. I assure you it happened.

But I can be pretty damn sure that if I was to walk onto any porn thread and argue vehemently that a totally ban on porn is unenforceable, undesirable (censorship always hits women first) and that female sexuality might be more varied, I will end up with exactly the same result.

IME many of the threads aren't about a discussion. they are about a group of women holding very similar opinions agreeing with each other.