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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Why a lot of women don't come on the feminism threads...

999 replies

Scarletohello · 30/10/2014 22:38

So I posted this question earlier, why don't more women come on these threads ( considering how many women are on MN)

The replies saddened me. Are we doing something wrong? I remember a thread some time ago asking how many women lurk on the feminism threads but never post. I was shocked by how many women read these threads but didn't feel able to join in. I don't think feminism has to be particularly intellectual and I would like to be able to educate more women about feminism, how it affects women in many different areas of their lives, offer support and talk about what we as women can do about it.

Please have a read of this thread and tell me what your thoughts are. I want us to be as inclusive as possible as it affects us all...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2222959-To-be-a-bit-dismayed-if-4-million-women-visit-this-site-why-are-there-so-few-posts-on-the-feminism-threads

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 30/10/2014 23:29

I have never posted on this board I think.

But I find it so depressing when women say "feminism is boring" while happily enjoying hard won equal rights in daily life.

Hakluyt · 30/10/2014 23:30

Stop shaving
Sushi for Beginners

UnwittingAccomplice · 30/10/2014 23:31

Hmmm.

Before I spent a bit of time on FWR: vaguely dissatisfied with the status quo but nothing I could put my finger on.

Having spent time on FWR: fairly specifically angry about various things I encounter day to day that I previously thought were my fault and have now realised are part of a wider problem caused by being female in a world designed by/for men.

The outcome: I'm more informed but also a lot more cross. Which I don't blame FWR for, I hasten to add, but it's not a comfortable place to be.

SevenZarkSeven · 30/10/2014 23:32

Having read the op again I think it is true what many on the other thread said as well. Mn is a feminist website just by its existence and predominantly female membership. Threads all over have feminist viewpoints. Read mn for a bit anywhere and then something else and it's really obvious. So honestly, people can come here if they want, but if they don't, it doesn't mean they aren't feminists etc.

I'm not sure there's need for a big worry?

BellaSolanum · 30/10/2014 23:32

Obviously those who don't want to post here never will, and that's fair enough.

What can be done to help the ones who want to but don't for whatever reason? The pub seems friendly?

RockinHippy · 30/10/2014 23:33

Sigh, you lot need to get a life, SOOooo BOOOORRRING!!

I don't need educating, I'm sure I could teach a lot of you a thing or too, I prefer to act, not see everything as a feminist issue, when it isn't & then chew the twaddle over & over in the hope that it makes you look more intellectual & sound strong & meaningful, when I suspect that's not the case at all, why else be so hung up on this forum - you might like it, but your pseudo intellectual chest puffing, bores the skin off me & I avoid this forum like the plague

Goodbye

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 30/10/2014 23:33

I was accused of being a troll and abused
Its up its own are and IMO too middle class
Female version of the white, middle class, male politician
I believe in equality but that class issues should be recognised so much more than they are.
This board turned me away from describing myself as a feminist

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 30/10/2014 23:34

Up its own arse. Damn predictive typing

smellycandles · 30/10/2014 23:34

Yes I agree with some of that too RockinHippy.

SevenZarkSeven · 30/10/2014 23:36

Bella your ideas that this who don't want to post here never will seems to have been blown out of the water :D

I agree pub and chat threads work well.

BellaSolanum · 30/10/2014 23:37

Haha, well they'll post here to say they wont post here. Which is different, but ok. Each to their own.

RufusTheReindeer · 30/10/2014 23:38

I love reading the threads on here (not all of them obviously...I do have a life)

I find, in general, that the woman on this board are very well read and very articulate and I do find that intimidating

I don't find their attitude intimidating...I just feel a bit slow sometimes

In real life I could out argue the devil (partly because of my ability to put my fingers in my ears and yell lalalalalalalalal when I get a bit stuck) but I'm a slow typer and I do struggle with not putting my foot in it on a way that I can't talk my way out of.

I'm a 45 year old woman and if you ask anyone who knows me I am confident, opinionated and loud

But I'm not here...that's my problem, not anyone else's

UnwittingAccomplice · 30/10/2014 23:39

I like the pub. I mostly watch the other stuff.

Whatever works, really. It's an internet forum, no one is forcing anyone to do anything...

People seem to find feminism offensive and pugilistic for reasons I don't really understand.

LizzieVereker · 30/10/2014 23:39

I lurk on the feminist boards a lot, and find them very interesting, I've definitely learned a lot. However there was a similar thread to this a while back and a regular FWR poster came on and said that it got a bit wearing having to explain "the basics" to newbies over and over. I think that's fair enough, but it has put me off posting, even when I feel I've got something to say. I feel like I need to catch up a bit first.

RufusTheReindeer · 30/10/2014 23:40

Oooh and I'm a feminist

Maybe not the best feminist (keep telling my children to man up...naughty Rufus) in the same way that I'm not the best vegetarian

But I am a faminist

RufusTheReindeer · 30/10/2014 23:41

Oooh....now I just sound hungry!!!

Feminist!!!!!!

Mitchy1nge · 30/10/2014 23:42

I miss dittany and sakura

Hakluyt · 30/10/2014 23:42

"Sigh, you lot need to get a life, SOOooo BOOOORRRING!!

I don't need educating, I'm sure I could teach a lot of you a thing or too, I prefer to act, not see everything as a feminist issue, when it isn't & then chew the twaddle over & over in the hope that it makes you look more intellectual & sound strong & meaningful, when I suspect that's not the case at all, why else be so hung up on this forum - you might like it, but your pseudo intellectual chest puffing, bores the skin off me & I avoid this forum like the plague"

Feminists are sooo rude and aggressive, aren't they? Grin

BellaSolanum · 30/10/2014 23:43

Lizzie I only joined here yesterday, so imagine there are others joining all the time too. Even if the regulars get worn out with re-explaining I'm sure there'll always be others willing to go through it.

Personally I find explaining the basics to others helps clarify my own views, and sometimes challenge and change them. So benefits to both people.

Sollers · 30/10/2014 23:50

I've been a feminist since I was born (my mother is and was a feminist) so I've had most of the arguments in FWR threads already when I was a teenager and in university. The only thing that seems to have changed significantly since is transactivism, but I don't know enough about that whole subject to be able to contribute anything of interest so I just read and learn and quietly seethe.

Coffeeinapapercup · 30/10/2014 23:52

I often think that the feminism boards miss the point. Well perhaps the boards are so busy fighting what it considers feminist issues (a lot of porn and shaving and FGM) it misses the bigger issues that impact on vast numbers of woman. Things like the appalling success records of the CSA or the secretism of family court. Or things are not specifically feminist issues but IMO are far more deserving of attention, like the poor level of employment of people with disabilities

I can totally keep up Hmm but IMO there are just lots of bigger issues to my life

LizzieVereker · 30/10/2014 23:53

That's kind Bella, thank you. I know some people don't mind clarifying things, but I do understand that if people are having a discussion at a certain level it could be irritating to be interrupted.

For example I was reading the thread about misandry earlier, and found it fascinating, but there were bits I had to read a couple of times over. But I like that, it's good to think a bit harder. I was just trying to consider my own position on the word/ issue, and had a couple of things I wanted to say, but didn't feel quite up to speed enough to post as the previous poster's comment put me off. I think that joining in might be the best way to help me clarify my thoughts, so I'll have to be a bit braver!

JulyKit · 30/10/2014 23:57

OK, so I've only read the first page or so of this thread, but here's a quote from another recent FWR thread:

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT FIRST IT WILL PISS YOU OFF

(I think it merits capitals...)

I think maybe that quote explains in part why many women don't want to think about feminism much: because they get the second part, but not the first. Political activism is hard work.

Most people simply want to be accepted and lead a moderately stress-free life. Many, many MNers enjoy the privilege of being able to do that. And that's enough for many of them.

And it's much easier to live with the trickle-down benefits reaped by others' hard work and risks taken than to get on with the work...

And most people want an easy life. Sure, they'll enjoy the benefits of feminism, once those benefits are delivered in sanitised packages that don't rock anyone's boat...

Oh, and once you identify yourself as a feminist, people will challenge you. Some women have enough self-confidence to deal with that, some don't.
Some women feel they've too much to lose by identifying themselves as feminists, some don't.

Those things, really.

BellaSolanum · 30/10/2014 23:58

Tbh I opened the misandry one earlier, scanned it and realised I'm not feeling quite so sharp today so had to leave it for when I can actually take it in and contribute in a meaningful way.

Do you think a seperate thread for questions related to ongoing threads (what do the acronyms means? what is the background? etc) would help? So it wouldn't feel like derailing the thread so much?

JulyKit · 31/10/2014 00:03

Coffeeinapapercup - you make a reasonable point. Do you find that there are MN boards where the areas you mention in your 23:52:49 post get discussed?