Why a lot of women don't come on the feminism threads...

[Scarletohello]

So I posted this question earlier, why don't more women come on these threads ( considering how many women are on MN)

The replies saddened me. Are we doing something wrong? I remember a thread some time ago asking how many women lurk on the feminism threads but never post. I was shocked by how many women read these threads but didn't feel able to join in. I don't think feminism has to be particularly intellectual and I would like to be able to educate more women about feminism, how it affects women in many different areas of their lives, offer support and talk about what we as women can do about it.

Please have a read of this thread and tell me what your thoughts are. I want us to be as inclusive as possible as it affects us all...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2222959-To-be-a-bit-dismayed-if-4-million-women-visit-this-site-why-are-there-so-few-posts-on-the-feminism-threads

ffs, I hadn't noticed you posted on this thread. I do notice you around as you are a prolific poster. And yes I do get cheesed off with your 'yappy dog' approach to me. Lets agree to avoid and not respond? Life and posting would be sweeter.

Buffy, whatever I post, I suspect, will never satisfy you. So lets avoid?
Again, this thread isn't about you or me.

it is bizarre that a woman who has made feminism central to her life and work, and has provided continual and much appreciated support to so many of the mn feminists, and has shared so many of her great ideas on feminism with other feminists - it is absolutely sickening that this person can find NO OTHER REASON to hang around on threads about feminism, other than to HARRASS PAN(who no doubt, on the contrary,has many excellent reasons to be on the threads about feminism, although I can't tell what they are as he doesn't seem to like it much)

hahahaha

At least the goady fuckers and the MRA and the trolls know they are being goady as fuck. Pan really doesn't get it. And I think probably sees him self as being super helpful nice guy

Stopped posting on the feminist board because I got fed up of being told I was doing my pubes wrong.

Apparently, I shouldn't shave my pubes off because it is porny and downtrodden and I should be proud of my hair and not do what a certain type of men want me to do.

Apparently I have to do what a certain type of women want me to do instead.

ok, I haven't read the whole thread, but you asked why people don't post, and I don't, but I often lurk, and this is why:

1. I come onto mn for lots of things and often just want a natter, not a debate/discussion.

1. The fwr threads are, to me, quite aggressive. To enter into the debate is to jump into the deep end and be prepared to swim hard. the fwr do not suffer fools much. It is a scary forum to post on. (and I don't mean the intellectual level)

1. I often find the discussion a bit...hmmm....not sure what the right word is. Divorced from real life maybe? I have been married for 15 years and have a fairly traditional relationship and 3 kids. Some of that is by choice. I feel on here that unless my dh and I are sharing everything equally from earning money to cleaning the loo then I would be pitied. And more than that, that those choices would be somehow considered sad or patriarchal or undermining women in general. I don't buy into that, surely the whole point of true feminism is that I can make any choice, even (shock horror) the choice to be a SAHM and I can't be bothered to argue my corner so I don't post.

trollsworth. You could put a pink mowhawk in. All anyone from FWR would argue is that it's society which is why women's pubes are going the way of dinosaur.

Many posters say they do shave their pubes and arm pit hair and leg hair. But it's all down to conditioning which they admit

AsAMan - okay, that's fine.

Buffy, I'd wish you to stop being invidious and personal. I think that it started when you started a thread on how "awesome" your dh was when he took responsibility for making some tea brews for some visitors at his work place, rather than rely on a woman to do it. I'd posted, , that's just the civilised thing to do, and no evidence of "awesomeness". You took umbridge at that.

Since that time, it's been rather unpleasant, and yes I'd said some weeks ago it was like being stalked by a Catholic priest, if you recall. And nothing has changed.

I have an early start, so make of this what you will. I'll make a point of avoiding you, as other wise it's a pure waste.
night.

Evening all. This thread seems to be veering a little off track currently. We let it stand because there was an interesting discussion going on and it wasn't a nasty, picking other posters apart type TAAT. But if that changes, ... You know what we're saying.
Lets keep it general not personal. Make funs not buns. Or something.
Thanks.

Make funs not buns

Can you add that to your Tshirt range?

And I'm certainly not making any kind of funs with her...

who says non self-identified feminist with a strong iconoclastic streak has no sense of humour?

Buffy, like many FWR regulars, posts on more than half of FWR threads, I would say, at a guess. I do too, probably!

Pan, you and I generally rub along ok but to say Buffy stalks you because she often posts shortly after you on a FWR thread doesn't make sense. She also often posts shortly after me, or LordC, or LRD, or Flora, or Annie, or AF, or Outs, or... Well, you get the drift. And each of those regulars often posts shortly after Buffy as well. It's how the board is, don'tcha think?

"This kind of thing pees me off. I changed my name when I got married. And I'm delighted that I did. I will never regret it. It was a meaningful and powerful thing for me to do. Did I collude with the patriarchy? Um, no. I just stayed exactly the same feminist I had been since I was a girl. But I made a choice and that is my right as a woman."

I really agree with this, it was what I was trying to say. fwr threads to me say that certain things (like changing your name) are incompatible with feminism. That there may be another reason or motivation that IS compatible with feminism is not permitted.

Name changing, especially the expectation that women will change, is incompatible with feminism. But changing your name does not mean that you are not a feminist. I did not change my name, but I've done other things that are not feminist; most feminists have. It's important to recognize the wider implications of our choices.

Hands up I haven't read all 200+ posts but is like to point out the first response to your original thread.

"Because you're only allowed to post there if you subscribe to a certain brand of feminism"

I am a feminist but the fwr board on here makes me almost as angry as the relationships board.

I think scones, that you have just confirmed exactly what I said.

As far as YOU are concerned, women should not change their name, because to do so is to bow to the patriarchy. So the only view is that a name change is to do something that is not feminist.

You see I disagree with that fundamentally and totally. I don't think that anyone should or shouldn't necessarily change their name, but there are many and varied reasons for doing so, and they are not bowing to the patriarchy at all. They are about having the choice.

If feminism is about setting women free, then to say that they should not change their name is as restrictive as to say that they should.

"i have one rule of thumb that allows me to judge...whether some sexist bullshit is afoot...are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men's time?" Caitlin Moran.

Namechanging upon marriage is primarily something which, if done at all, is done by women. It's not something men typically have to worry about or take up their time with (new documentation etc - yes, it's straightforward but does require some time invested)

So name changing on marriage is a feminist issue in my book. Of course you can be a feminist whether you change your name or not but this is something women but not men worry about.

I find the FWR boards fascinating. I'm not a radical feminist, but some of the posts have been really thought provoking. I am particularly fascinated with the TERF thing. It's raised some really interesting questions I think. I remember getting into a spat with dittany about definitions of male and female, as her definition of female excluded women with Turners syndrome, which I find difficult. I had no idea at the time about the trans/TERF hoohah, and that has cast a different light on that episode, but also made me think really hard about the whole sex vs gender thing. I've even discussed it with my children (in somewhat more general terms).

As far as YOU are concerned, women should not change their name

I did not say this.