Feminist Pub VII - Chat, questions, random thoughts too small for a thread ...

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Just setting this up while we finish off the last few posts on the old thread. Come in and pull up a bar stool!

But I've always put that down to not having gender dysphoria (which seems to me would be better named sex dysphoria or body dysphoria or sexual characteristics dysphoria). It must be awful to have a feeling of detachment or loathing for one's body. I don't like the weight I am at now and that is uncomfortable but I have the power to change it, so that is something different. Which is why I used to think dysphoria and the desire to transition were highly linked, but now that's not the full picture.

But I've always put that down to not having gender dysphoria (which seems to me would be better named sex dysphoria or body dysphoria or sexual characteristics dysphoria). It must be awful to have a feeling of detachment or loathing for one's body. I don't like the weight I am at now and that is uncomfortable but I have the power to change it, so that is something different. Which is why I used to think dysphoria and the desire to transition were highly linked, but now that's not the full picture.

Perhaps, Bill.

Just seen that Hilary Clinton is doing a web-interview. We have to post questions and vote on them. Anyone got a really good one?

I find the Trans stuff too hard, I really do. As a very young child, say four or five, I was convinced I should be a boy. This was mainly because I wanted the things that my older brother had, and wanted to be allowed to do the things he was allowed and thought if I was a boy then it'd be problem solved. Thank god no one took me too seriously, though I rather wish they had given me a.proper 'boys'' haircut and not a naff short but feminine disaster, 80s style. That's as seriously as I needed taking.

I've posted a fairly rambling ramble on the Hillary Clinton thread, about the First Lady role, which looks like a lot of sexist bollox from my POV, though I say that without knowing very much about American politics apart the fact it fails poor people in a way that can only be described as fucking disgraceful.

A little boy I know was saying for ages that he was going to be a woman when he grew up. Eventually when his mum asked him why, he said it was because he was going to stay home and not go to work every day.

My view of gender identity is that it is the acceptance in your thought processes of your biological sex. Lots of little boys think their penis will fall off and they might become a woman, little girls think they might grow a penis. Eventually children learn the difference between male and female and accept that they are male or female and will stay that way. That's presumably why GID is a disorder. The thought processes are not accepting the observable facts. This is complicated (and may be caused or contributed to) by all the social constructs around what boys like or what girls like. If your parents (who love you and who, as a young child, you need and want to please) tell you X is for girls and Y is for boys, and you don't fit, that must be very difficult to process psychologically.

I spent most of my childhood wearing my brother's clothes with short cropped hair, playing with Lego and toy cars. People would compliment my mother on her lovely sons, and when she pointed out that one of them was a girl, they usually assumed it was my brother rather than me. I lived up trees and on my bike. I really did want to be a boy, not because I had any inherant issues with the body I was born with, but just because I preferred to wear the clothes and play with the things society told me were "for boys".

And then a grew up and now perform femininity like the rest of us.

This may be why I get so angry at people who even consider their children might be transgender just because they don't fit our completely artificially constructed gender stereotypes!

I need a mini rant. Or a cry. The transgender thing came up at a conference at work this week and so many people thought that pre-puberty blocking drugs were a good idea that I was shocked! I feel like an ancient dinosaur. Also, a male 'friend' who I "upset" about a year ago by pointing out that he was spouting rape myths and who, as a result, no longer speaks to me - much to the annoyance of other friends who feel it "broke up" our friendship group, has posted this really aggravating thing on Face book (I know, I know, spawn of the devil). Someone posted a link saying how headlines about women are sexist for focussing on their appearance and, in reply, he has posted a link to an atricle saying that advertising against men is sexist because it portrays men as hopeless at housework. I wanted to answer this by pointing out that it is not remotely the same thing and that those ads are not sexist against men but sexist agaisnt women because of the power imbalance but I've just spoken to another really supportive male friend who thinks that I am taking it all too far - he didn't say that exactly but that was his tone.

Also, today at work, I saw so many examples of young boys dominating/ taking over in the classroom and on the PE field and young girls submitting without even thinking.

I feel like I am losing all sense of perspective and losing my sense of humour. Depressed. Sorry, but needed to get it out.

Rosa - hugs.

womeninjournalism.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Seen_but_not_heard.pdf

Yes, those ads are shit. They are of course patriarchal (men are shit at housework because it's women's work) but they are still shit. Still, I'd rather that my sex was being mocked in the odd ad (and ads that sexually objectify women far outweigh those that stupidify men) than that my sex was the one never making the front page for something other than appearance or victim hood. (See link)

rosbud, I feel all that. especially "so many examples of young boys dominating/ taking over in the classroom and on the PE field and young girls submitting without even thinking."

So does she:

medium.com/matter/the-ping-pong-theory-of-tech-world-sexism-c2053c10c06c

I can play ping pong.

Why do people think crying is a sign of weakness? Do they not understand that if I wasn't crying my tears of fucking rage I might do something seriously nasty to them?

Oh loupto - this sounds awful. What's going on?

And yes, people are utter wankers about crying.

I've just started this, in case anyone's interested: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/meetups/2123233-Would-anyone-like-a-feminist-meet-up?msgid=48057665#48057665

I've also just noticed the odd typo in my previous post. Sorry about that, upto.

LRD not refering to any current occurrences, just in general. Not in a rage at the moment, for a change.

In my lunchtime internet wanderings, I came across this

Women in the Judiciary

It's a speech given by Lady Hale, some of which resonates with me both professionally and as a woman. She also uses a quote from Madeline Albright which I may be tempted to use in future.

Anyway, the point was, at the same time I was reading this (and cheering that her Ladyship is a feminist) an email popped up from my professional body about research into the role of women in my profession and why the discrepancy at senior level in terms of men/women.

What brightened my day was the quotes from the research done which clearly demonstrated a much greater awareness of the difficulties faced by women in the workplace and at home. And a stated desire to take positive steps to change this and practical suggestions as to how this could be done.

Nothing that anyone on here hasn't read before but it's so reaffirming to see that people in the mainstream are aware of the issues and that women at the top are not all blind to how their achievements came about or their responsibility to the women coming behind them.

Anyway, it was just nice to see given the constant anti woman barrage that we face daily.

Hello everyone, VERY regular poster here. I won't do the naiceham pom bear list as really that sounds quite trolly. However I will give a list of my names which I regularly use on FWR via PM if anyone has any questions (and can potentially be some help to me). I'd rather not out myself.

Basically I have a friend who is in prison. I don't believe she belongs there and I think it is rampant misogyny along with a HUGE dose of classism that got her there. Along with a tiny bit of it being somewhat high profile case due to the added ingredient of a zlister . From what she has told me a lot of evidence didn't add up and from what I have seen I believe all this. And I think that lawyer who defended her wasn't really doing their job. I know everyone says their friend didn't do it but to be honest I'm not like that. I understand my friend well and the situation was really strange.

Does anyone know think they or someone they know might be able to help? I'd like to say money is no issue. But it is.

I can give an overview of some of the things she told me about about and maybe it's somethign they could check out and see if they would be interested in taking on before I passed them on to my friend?

Thanks

Thanks buffy

Sorry, this sounds awful. Can I ask what sort of help you were looking for - a legal person? I'm afraid I am no use at all for that.
z lister - do you mean a minor celeb is part of it all?
Sorry, no help, just not wanting to leave this unanswered

Yes, allhail, I was hoping someone might Know (or be) a legal type who could look at the evidence and fix it all Perry Mason stylee and for free or cheap. Can't go in to details about the case but "celeb-ish" and it made quite a few headline (thought most people wouldn't recognize it) so might be interesting for someone to take on anyway?

Not much to ask right?

I can't help because, although I was a lawyer, that was never my area. But has she tried the Bar pro bono unit? A google should bring it up?

I'm not sure Penguin, I'll check though. Thank you