Feminist Pub VII - Chat, questions, random thoughts too small for a thread ...

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Just setting this up while we finish off the last few posts on the old thread. Come in and pull up a bar stool!

I got all the way up to the page in his book about how women can't raise boys because they don't have willies and said bollocks to that and nearly flushed it down the toilet. Honestly. I have never read a book that made me say bollocks so many times.

Ironic, that.

Why do you need a willy, then?

Dunno. It's probably too hard to understand for someone who hasn't got a willy.

Ah, of course.

I often notice DH sighing and tapping his head gently with his todger to prompt deep thought ... or carefully propping it into a Rodin-esque pose of contemplation.

I threw my copy away. I NEVER throw books away, I always give them away. Not this one.

Well I should say I've never read it. Nor am I going to, th man needs to lie down in a quiet room when he feels people are.questioning him. Literally that's what he did on that web chat, for any of you that haven read it, he starts the web chat off, late, describing how he had to go an lie down somewhere quiet having read the 50 or so questions MNers had posted.

I was a bit caught up with teeny babies at the time, so missed it - did we cover the sexist bullshit from Gareth Malone, who really should stick to singing (or at least being in the room while others sing)? What a twat.

I don't have GCSEs or O levels. Or A levels either. I have a Matriculation Certificate. So there.

I'm glad I haven't read that Biddulph book, sounds like it would give me The Rage. But let me share this gem with you, because I know you will love it. DD2 was given a book called Princess Poppy in a party bag last week, and it actually contains this paragraph:

"Wow! You look lovely, Mum!" she said admiringly. Poppy hadn't liked to mention it, but since the twins were born Mum had been looking a bit scruffy. But today she was wearing a pretty yellow dress with a wide belt and matching kitten-heel shoes. Plus she had put on pearl earrings and make-up!

DD2 is 6.

My anti-feminist mum read it to the DDs before I saw it, and even she was shocked at that! So Princess Poppy, too, is going in the bin.

What a pile of shit.

Plus, Mum has clearly been dressed by Gok Wanker in his Sloane Ranger days. Who the fuck wears a dress with a yellow belt and matching kitten-heel shoes? Bleugh.

Well, Mum obviously needed Gok's help. Can you imagine the shame of not being impeccably dressed within nanoseconds of birthing twins? She's Letting The Side Down.

I can barely contemplate the horrors.

Who publishes this shite?

Wow, that's a rubbish paragraph, I'm glad it's gone in the bin.

Random House, sadly.

Oh my (fucking) God, my kids are supposed to be monitoring my dress (I assume for signs of PND)? Die, patriarchy, die!

How is 6 year old supposed to even process that?

"Poppy hadn't liked to mention it, but since the twins were born Mum had been looking a bit scruffy"

What 6 year old "doesn't like to" mention anything, supposing they're growing up in a reasonably functional family?

And what 6 year old notices what their mum is wearing?

This is pernicious isn't it, it's actually pointing children towards something they would otherwise never even consider as part of their range of concerns.

Which poltroon wrote this shit?

Just popping in. I am finding it frustrating how often women say they prefer and choose to do jobs at home that just happens to fit with stereotypical wifely behaviour, while their DP just naturally prefers to do jobs that are stereotypically husbandly.

Astounding, isn't it Basil? To be (slightly) fair, I think the book is directed at slightly older children (maybe 8?) as the reading level is a little advanced for my 6 yo but my 8 yo would find it easy. Not that a year or two older would make the message any less revolting. I imagine it was chosen because the child whose party it was is called Poppy, and I hope to all the powers that be that the parents (hmmm, how nearly I wrote "mother" instead there - it's all so ingrained, isn't it?) chose the book purely based on the title and didn't actually read it before handing that shite out to a mob of 6 yo girls.

And yes, calmet, it is sadly usually the case. But then, perhaps some of that comes down to "training" in childhood or at work. My DH does the DIY because while I am capable of wielding a screwdriver, he grew up on a farm and has far more experience of fixing stuff than I do so is better at it (though I do all the bike fixing, so at least my DDs see me doing Stuff With Tools and know you don't need a penis to operate them. And DH does more than his share of housework.

I know my DH is unusual because he came fully housework-trained, but it still takes some effort to get him to understand how to deal with laundry because he didn't have to wash clothes before we moved to the UK (communal laundry).

So, as with so much else, we need to raise this generation, boys and girls, to be as comfortable with a drill as a washing machine as an oven as a lawnmower. And then hopefully these stereotypes will gradually erase themselves.

I totally understand how it happens Annie. My father wouldn't tell me anything about what he was doing when he was fixing the car, in spite of me being really interested. He just thought I didn't need to know.

It is just how so many women see it as their choice, when in actual fact it is how society is set up i.e. patriarchy, that had led to that choice.

The book sounds revolting.

I don't do drills. Not because I'm female per se, but because I have weird self esteem issues and assume I'll Do It Wrong. Fear of Doing It Wrong rules my life rather more than I'd like. So I get my brother to do anything involving tools. Feels like I'm letting the side down, but... Not all men are amazing with tools (DP runs a mile from them) so why should all women?

Fat Is A Feminist Issue arrived two days ago, but I have no time to read it!

I don't do drills either, not because I think I can't, but because I already do every fucking thing. I like screwdrivers though. Was admiring a pretty little set in Muji the other day. But we already have screwdrivers of all shapes and sizes...

Is there a Not all men use tools meme yet? storm?

I love power tools, used to make all kinds of crap with my granddad while he and I hid from my grandmother. Kind of let dh get on with it for years though as it was "his thing". But been thinking lately I quite miss it.

Copper - Yes if you do everything else, I understand you not taking on this other job. Not a great situation to be in though.

Stormy - Without patriarchy, household and DIY tasks would be done by whoever preferred doing certain jobs, or was good at them. So I would expect drilling to be done by half of women and half of men across the country, and the same with other tasks. So it is not thatt everyone needs to do all tasks, it is just that who does what is so influenced by patriarchy. And your self esteem issues around drilling will be influenced by patriarchy as well.

I don't do bins or lawn mower or drilling, or fix the computer or the bikes. V. stereotypical. But I do maths and science and chess.