Stranger "hits" DD - am I over-reacting?

[rosabud]

My DD is 17. Today she was on the bus on the way home from school (6th form so not in uniform). It was crowded and old people were tutting at her and making it obvious she should give up her seat for them (there were free seats towards the back of the bus - not sure that is relevant). Nomally she would have given up her seat but she was tired, had been in an AS exam which had gone horribly wrong and her back was hurting. Personally, I think she should still have given up her seat.......but don't think that's an excuse for what happened next.

A seat behind her became vacant and, as an old man (in his 70s, she thinks) sat down in it, he hit/slapped her across the shoulder ('quite' hard - but not hard enough to cause injury) and told her that she should give up her seat for an old man next time. DD apologised and tried to explain about the exam and her back - but he did not answer her. Old people continued to tut at her and she sat there and cried!

She should have given up her seat, I think. But I am really angry that a man thinks he had the right to hit/slap her! Would he have done that to an older person like myself? Would he have done that to a teenage boy - I don't think so, surely he would have been too wary of being punched back?!

I am so cross! How dare he?! Am I over-reacting?

Understandable that due to bad back and exam, your daughter wasn't on top form OP. Otherwise she would've retorted, "I see you're a stickler for manners. Do you normally hit girls? Was hitting girls considered good etiquette when you were growing up?"
To those who immediately assumed that the OP's daughter was probably exaggerating and thought that the girl was rude so the man was "understandably" annoyed - god help your female children if they ever come home and tell you that they've been groped, for example - would you tell them that it's just their imagination or that it's their fault in that situation too?
vintage...poor you. And all your colleagues. That wasn't really all that long ago...hideous.

Hi I really don't want to derail here, but thank you for all your support and general niceness.

To answer a few questions

I didn't post to say look how bad it can be, I wanted to highlight that it's very easy to think of little old men as sweet and harmless or think that because it's your Dad, Granddad, Uncle to think they're too sweet they'd never behave like that.

Except they do when you're not one of theirs/not there to he protected. And when you're not you are free to be abused.
As in if you don't have an obvious 'owner'…

And they don't really see it as wrong, just their 'rights'

I hope I've explained this ok.

For me it made me determined to do my training and be the nurse in charge so that as far as my power went (a) all staff knew they didn't/should never tolerate this treatment (b) 'patients' be held accountable. Being a patient never ever gives you the rights to assault someone else.

I'm very glad to say that when I was on the wad I was known as a bad ass in relation to both staff and patient care and rights.

There's lots more, but again derail…

And thanks

He may have been in his 70s but he had white male privilege! Why should she give up her seat for a white-male-privileged oppressor??

Yes she was rude. That's not the issue. He assaulted her-please report it . I am shocked that no one pulled him up on it.