Things you were told weren't ladylike

[thinkofablinkingnamewoman]

A friend mentioned yesterday that her DH hates her smoking while walking - he says it makes her look like a tart. It reminded me of things my DM (mainly, DF occasionally) told me weren't ladylike when I was growing up. They were:
Smoking outside (clearly some things don't change)
Eating in the street (though for some reason chip shop chips were ok)
Sitting with my legs apart more than about an inch. This seemed to be quite a precise measurement
Talking about football to people I didn't know, even though my DF used to take me. Bizarrely cricket talk was ok.
Did you all have similar?

Going into pubs (my parents ran a pub!)
Drinking in pubs
Drinking pints in pubs
Drinking anything other than wine in pubs

Wearing short skirts
Wearing trousers
Wearing flouncy skirts
Heavy makeup (I would regularly be told to go upstairs and "take some of that slap off!" I'd touch up my eye-liner instead)
Not enough makeup
'Loud' jewellery
Boots
Black clothes

Getting a Science degree
Getting another science degree
Science in general
Being clever (and not even being a clever dick! That, I could live with. I was told my dad that no man would ever want me if they thought I might be cleverer than them. He had left school at 15 and had some ishoos with education in general)
Disagreeing

Giving fewer fucks about housework than them
Reading the Wrong Books
My particular style of needlework (to be fair, I was embroidering Conan quotes)
Rock music

Swearing
Sweating
Exercise in general

I never got 'eating in public' as an unladylike thing, but it was terribly, terribly common. Eating Greggs in public could reliably bring my mum out in a fit of the middle-class northerner vapors.

kerosene, I love ya ... embroidery of Conan quotes!

My dh thinks ladies who smoke look common and those pushing prams and smoking are the worst apparently!!

brushing your hair in public. i still judge people who do this.

and, apparently, only prostitutes wear ankle bracelets. thanks, nan.

Time

pushing a pram and smoking is just wrong for a different reason though.
I hate the sight of that whether a man or a woman doing it.

(and there's the Vicky Pollard image too I guess! )

Definately drinking pints, but also chewing gum, swearing and sitting with legs too far apart.

The odd thing is that I'm a crossdresser, so as a guy I can do them all!!!

Being unapologetically clever in front of men. Arguing a point without deferring to male opinion with a little deferential giggle.

Our nuns used to say that every time a girl crossed her legs Our Lady blushed. Or possibly cried, I can't quite remember. Our Lady didn't care for trousers either. Or wolf whistling back at builders.

(And - while I think of it, because it still makes me inwardly rage - this same set of nuns who ran my convent secondary, employed a friend of a friend as a student teacher during her PGCE year. This woman had had a baby while she was an undergraduate, and was a single mother. What the nuns finally cracked about was the fact that, while obviously unmarried and known as 'Miss' O'Dwyer, this woman had the temerity to have a - gasp - baby seat in her car. It was a Bad Example to the girls, apparently, and deeply unladylike.)

Lots of things, but what I remember most clearly was eating a sandwich the wrong way. My grandmother insisted that I eat cut sandwiches a particular way.

Now that I am older, I appreciate that some things are polite or impolite, but the term "ladylike" really irritates me. It's not a term I ever plan to use with my DDs.

YY to brushing your hair in public. Eating in the street. Wearing trousers to work. Swearing.

I'm very unladylike.

My grandad said being untidy was unladylike - which I guess makes me a man.....

All this makes me want to cheer my feminist DM who insisted on drinking pints in 1960s Manchester with my DDads full support. They did an article about her in the paper! I suppose they'd think the P.hd she's got now is unladylike too........

I'm not a lady - I know because my MIL told her sister in front of me, "look at Hatie she wears trousers and she doesn't shave her legs"

My fave put down is from Mona Ramsey of "Tales of the City"

"Don't call me a lady, I wouldn't dream of calling you a gentleman"

putting on make-up in public - not that i ever did it!

even now i cringe when i see someone making that horrible lipstick face and slapping it on on the tube!

Painting your toe nails - incredibly common apparently :)

Also eating/ drinking whilst walking

Not wearing a petticoat. I was always made to wear a petticoat underneath my dress as a child.

I got refused as drink in a pub once because "ladies drink out of small glasses in the lounge bar". We were left quite puzzled by that.

So glad I didn't have a fussy mum.

Oh, I forgot about being clever. I was told no man would ever want me if I kept showing off how clever I was and kept having opinions.

other unladylike things

coloured shoes
shoes with too high a heel
white shoes/boots were for ladies of ill repute! So were ankle bracelets.
showing of almost any flesh, especially of the cleavage variety
answering back
clearing your plate at meal times
drinking from a mug

the list just goes on and on. How anyone was ever supposed to live up to it all is beyond me.

Ooh we're on the front page of the website. Very proud. Another thing I was told off for - modest was good, showing off was bad. I was told once by a teacher that if I knew an answer in a quiz I should whisper it to one of the boys on the team so that they could take the credit. Apparently noone loves a clever girl.....

YY to ankle bracelets. Also having your ears pierced. Wearing rings on any finger other than the outer 2 on each hand. Having seconds of anything (must be skinny to be a laydee), smoking roll ups (all other fags totally fine! ), being able to see any bit of your underwear (eg bra strap through a t shirt....put on a vest or long length slip).

Where I grew up it was only ankle chains on the left ankle that was used to identify a prostitute. If you wore one on the right you were OK.

Short hair was unladylike

It was common to eat in the street (thanks headmistress)

Having more than one ear piercing in each ear

Going outside in public without your face on/without your lips on (make up must be worn at all times)

Pearls must be worn to formal events as they give you a glow & stop a double chin looking like a double chin

Your slip showing was unladylike

Not wearing a slip was unladylike

Wearing a skirt style slip instead of a dress style slip was unladylike. You had to wear the skirt one with a skirt & the dress one with a dress.

Hanging out your underwear was unladylike

Wearing trainers unless doing a sport
Admitting you exercise
Drinking alcohol
Not marrying your first boyfriend- the shame of it
Not being married after 21
Not wearing tights and going bare legged
Sitting like a bloke
Earning more money than a man
Spending money on yourself
Wearing anything tight and / or revealing
Too high heels
Too much make up
Not enough make up
Too much perfume
Gaudy clothes
Jeans or any trousers, ladies wear skirts.
Going into pub with anyone
Going to a pub
Knowing where a pub is
Any kind of show of affection or emotion is Not Allowed
Wild rock band, liking and listening to
Popular fiction
Having a life without a dh
Being divorced
Not caring what the neighbours think.

My dad (70) tried telling my 4yo DD that not wearing a party dress to a party was unladylike the other day.

Water off a duck's back to her- she was off to soft play and no stupid dress was going to stop her!

OMG it's like stepping back to stifling Surrey in the 1960s! Never eat in public, males walk on the outside (to get the splashes), never drink from a tall glass in the UK, stand up when adults enter a room, never, ever, fart (except in the bath); not allowed in golf clubs; don't work (unless you really have to and then only in a woman's job such as typist, or domestic cleaning). Oh, and smile gamely if Jimmy Savile beams at you.

The past isn't always better, but it was certain in ways today is not. Are my kids allowed to fart? Why can't they eat in public when the rest of the carriage is slurping coffee and leaving empty cups on the floor? Why can't they wear school uniforms properly? Why doesn't anyone wear hats? Why is the central heating set at 20 so the kids don't wear jumpers? What is central heating? Why Hollyoaks? Why?! (Crumples, sobbing)

Just read the alphabetised list, in my tired state misread 'Hair, public brushing of' as 'hair pubic bush'...

Not really anything to do with anything, but made me laugh!

Changing a car tyre or even knowing how to.