Why would you be proud to be married?

[Grennie]

I am just trying to understand this from a feminist perspective. Why would a woman under patriarchy be proud to be married?

"This is a very good way of ensuring that you get to keep the domestic, sexual and emotional services of someone you're not treating properly, who can't afford to withdraw those services and leave you."

The best way to ensure this, in my view, is for a man to have all of those services without any of the legal requirements of marriage (in which a man is held responsible for his side of the bargain when it breaks down). I think women have been sold a great big lie, that being a 'partner' is just as good as being a 'wife'. It's not. The law does not adequately protect a partner for the services she provides the household unit in the childbearing years, whereas it does (generally speaking) provide for the services of a wife.

The best way to provide for more people to stay married because they want to would be to ensure that any man who becomes a father is held legally, morally and socially responsible for half the cost of raising his children (including looking after their mother) during the period when the children are legally dependent. And vice versa. Holding women morally and legally responsible for half the costs also.

Children remain in poverty generally because one of their parents is not holding up their side of the maintenance bargain.

Yes I agree but you also need to look at the structural issues which mean poverty is gendered. You can't separate poverty from sexism.

Also the best way to ensure people remain married because they want to, is to ensure that people are nicer to each other. That means getting rid of the sense of entitlement and ownership attached to marriage.

I'm married (18 years) we just married because we loved each other, not foe practical or legal reasons although I know marriage does have its advantages and I'm very glad we are married. I didn't take his name, children are double barrelled.

I'm very proud of my husband, and children, even though it's not an achievement of mine, anything they have done is all down to them (well, maybe I can take a tiny bit of the credit). I still feel proud of things they've done though.

As for being proud of being married, well, I don't know, maybe I'm a bit thick, but I just don't get that. I don't really understand what I'm supposed to be proud off.... I'll go back and try to read the whole thread to find out.

I'm not proud to be married, although I am proud DH and I have maintained a 16 year relationship. That I think is an achievement as it takes work.

I am also proud of DH and proud to be with him.

But the fact we are married bit is almost an irrelevance in that I would feel exactly the same regardless of whether we were married or not

This sounds weird.

I'm proud to be married to a wonderful man now... but not proud to be married in a general sense!!
Being married to the wrong person or just for 'custom' is a lot worse than being single!!

Always been quite proud to be single until I was in my 40ies, honestly ;)

Im proud of being married as its quite rare nowadas to have a happy long marriage.

The fact that DH and I have a good relationship has lots of positive emotions attached to it, for me, but pride isn't the right word for it. I don't consider it something I've achieved, particularly.

Likewise, I know we made a good decision to marry, but that certainly isn't an achievement.