So many evil men...can't stand it

[SplitHeadGirl]

First of all, I know fully well that men will get upset at what I think and am about to say, so I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority, but who seem to be few (is it their deafening silence?)

But any fool can see that the sheer amount of men, who are prepared to do unspeakable things to women and girls (and boys as well as other men, not to mention the vulnerable and the elderly...wow, the list goes on) is just overwhelming. I read today about Anene Booysen, and I was absolutely heartbroken, but yet not shocked. For men to be so diabolical to women is not shocking anymore, and that is men's greatest tragedy.

I have two little daughters, and a little son, and I fear for them at the hands of men. Not women...just men.

I feel like I am thinking out loud with this post, so no worries if no one feels they can respond. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless at the tsunami of male violence.

You know why women inflict FGM on their daughters Norudeshit?

Because if they don't, men won't marry those daughters. In societies where literally the only option for survival for females is marriage, to condemn your daughter to not being able to marry, is to condemn her to being outside of her society, to be a pariah, an oddity, a joke, in permanent danger of attack, poverty and social stigma. What mother who loves her daughter would condemn her to that?

That's also why the aunt and mother broke the feet of the little girls in China who had to go to their husbands with perfect lotus blossom shaped feet - because otherwise those innocent bystanding men would not marry them.

Having constructed a society where women cannot function unless they marry, men refuse to marry women who haven't been mutilated, but don't dirty their hands with the mutilation themselves - they get women to do it for them, just like the white slavemaster didn't do the whipping himself, he got the black overseer to do it for him. He got to stand by and look innocent, like it was nothing to do with him, while the slave being whipped blamed the slave doing the whipping.

See where I'm going with this?

I read Wild Swans years ago - the daughters of China would stand on a table on their wedding day and their dress would be lifted by their MIL to reveal their feet. If they were not the broken, bound, painful tiny "three inch" lotus-blossoms they would be humiliated on their wedding day -and treated as lessers, and objects of scorn, forever, with their normal big giant feet. This would be enough in the then Chinese society for the bride to despise their own mother - for not being strong enough to inflict this pain and suffering on their beloved daughters.

It took only one generation (and a revolution) for this horrendous practice to die out.

It's like women's bodies are not good enough for the patriarchy. It's not FGM and footbinding in Western society, but are we going down a similar road with boob jobs and labiaplasty? Only it's more voluntary.

It's all about women being sensual, yet helpless and delicate, even childlike too?

Spot on BBE and sabrina

I'm not sure you would put boob jobs and cosmetic surgery on the same road as mutilation!

God of course not! But it's all in aid of "beauty" in view of the patriarchy isn't it?

There is no inherent advantage to women to have big plastic boobs or neat little labia is there? Except that it is what is seen as desirable.

...and it is mutilation in a way - albeit surgically anaesthetised and clean in Western private hospitals. My sister had a boob job - and her recovery was really quite traumatic.

It maybe down to what is desirable. It maybe that these surgeries are advancing and becoming cheaper. Some cosmetic surgery is used to restore a persons body to what it was, say prior to an accident.
I wonder what 'beauty ' and attractiveness is in natural terms.
Maybe big breasts are naturally desirable.

I think if you call that mutilation then it waters down the word.

Or is what's desirable for women down the patriarchy?

I'm sure it's no coincidence that labiaplasty has sprung up as a 'cosmetic surgery' option since online (graphic) porn has become so prolific.

No, I agree with you that mutilation shouldn't be a word used for cosmetic surgery. Under the knife? But it's still not a nice procedure - it is surgery in pursuit of something that could be described as an idealised body that is unrealistic, and ultimately undesirable for women.

But I don't really want to derail this and make it about cosmetic surgery either - my own derail.

It's hard to say where 'beauty' stems from. I think more exposure to other people's bodies will result in comparisons.

I think the thread has already gone on about 5 different topic tangents

Tangents are fine - when relevant.

The tangent isn't 'evil' enough

Yes, I read about a tricep implant leaking. It was gross

Whenthered - I agree. Reconstructive surgery is very different from surgery where women try to gain some sort of 'beauty' ideal. Especially when you're talking something so intimate as female genitals.

Labiaplasty and penis enlargements are very odd.

Labiaplasty and penis enlargements are very odd.

Say what? This thread drifted to that? I bailed out of reading it when the idea that 'the violence of some men benefits men as a gender' was raised. Much like 'The Mafia benefits Italians'.

Thank god you're back, Dad.

Dad, it went from violence to rape, to violence, to domestic violence, to feminism, to MRAs, to individuals arguing, to what do certain groups represent, to FGM, foreskin removal, to cosmetic surgery being mutilation, to cosmetic surgery not being mutilation.

What a thread

I think that's a bit over simplistic actually, sprinkled.

It's a nuanced subject. The subject of FGM, foot-binding etc does have a relevance to Western intimate cosmetic surgery to make female body parts stand up to an ideal of what women's bodies should be - even if they are not as brutal as FGM and foot-binding.

However, the what-about-the-menz postings are derailing - especially when a false equivalence is introduced - along the line of MC and FGM.

It was supposed to be simplistic. I wasn't weighting the topics discussed or judging their relevance. Simply, trying to summarise how the topics linked together for dadwashere.

I'm not sure what ideals a woman's body part should stand up to. What are your ideals?

I suppose I could be convinced there is an overall link between dental braces, cheek implants, cock enlargements, and FGM/foot binding.

I was talking about the ideals (largely endorsed by porn int he last 20-30yrs) on women's boobs and vaginas - which has had such an effect that some teenage boys don't realise women have pubic hair.