So many evil men...can't stand it

[SplitHeadGirl]

First of all, I know fully well that men will get upset at what I think and am about to say, so I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority, but who seem to be few (is it their deafening silence?)

But any fool can see that the sheer amount of men, who are prepared to do unspeakable things to women and girls (and boys as well as other men, not to mention the vulnerable and the elderly...wow, the list goes on) is just overwhelming. I read today about Anene Booysen, and I was absolutely heartbroken, but yet not shocked. For men to be so diabolical to women is not shocking anymore, and that is men's greatest tragedy.

I have two little daughters, and a little son, and I fear for them at the hands of men. Not women...just men.

I feel like I am thinking out loud with this post, so no worries if no one feels they can respond. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless at the tsunami of male violence.

Ha - ok will check it out.

Kirsty Allsopp (of whom I am not fond but I agreed with her on this point) was talking about FGM on Twitter and trying to explain it was er, not quite the same as male circumcision to some tweeters.

It isn't the same, of course it isn't, but let's not pretend that it isn't risky or cruel or can cause long term health problems and lets not pretend that it is always done in a clean hospital environment with the correct level of anaesthetic either.

FGM really is a whole different thing - far more invasive and carried out at an older age, usually the onset of puberty and usually without anaesthetic. It is also by it's very definition a tool of oppression by men over women - since it damages/diminishes the woman's sexual feeling/pleasure.

Not that you'll find feminists endorsing male circumcision though - the roots of which are in patriarchal religion.

How about the online abuse by 20,000 men throughout the world of someone they thought was a 10 year old girl? Not very many women among that number (none).

Women are fighting back. A good thing, SF, or pointless? Should we be saying "But what about the men?"

It's a good thing, of course, it's unacceptable. It's interesting though, in these 'enlightened' times, with it's resurgence in feminism, that the more there is (feminism), the more this kind of crap goes on. I don't recall that kind of stuff going on when I was going to clubs (80's/early 90's), not to this extent. Why are young men losing respect for women, in spite of many campaigns.

'But I'll bear what you say how I come across to you in mind, as I hope you'll reciprocate.'

Of course. Apols for yesterday. Was irate.

'Sig, I really don't know why you choose to spend so much time in a forum full of people whose ideology you despise. It seems somehow masochistic.'

Firstly, I don't spend 'so much time' here, not really. Secondly, whilst it's true that I find feminism wrong on a lot of levels, I don't believe it's masochistic. I disagree a lot, and isn't it a good job that throughout history people who disagreed with stuff/religion/ideologies etc spoken out. Otherwise, we'd probably still be throwing people to the lions or spending Sundays quaking in fear at the thought of Hell and Damnation. Society needs people to disagree. People who think they're right need people to disagree with them. You might not question your beliefs, but someone else might, and that's a good thing, in case you're wrong.

'There really is no point discussing these subjects with you, when, as pan and others have said, you obstinately ignore widely accepted figures from ONS, Home Office etc, in favour of those thrown around by Men's Rights Websites.'

Er...where do you think Mens Rights Websites get their stats from? Google, just like people on FWR. MRA's haven't yet resorted to using their own 'surveys' and peddling the results as facts.

'Seeing as how you're so in with the men, why don't you ask them?'

Well I couldn't answer as to why they grope women, why those particular individuals chose to do that. What I do know is that some men are very pissed off with being demonised, they don't feel that they deserve it. Hence yet another MRA is born, and the movement will keep growing in response to more demonisation.

In the end there will be a small disparate group of men and women enjoying their peaceful utopia and each other, whilst the rest of us snarl at each other until the west (as it was dies out). I'm sure one bed flats are cosy, for the millions of lonely bitter singles.

'Has feminism helped women?'

Yes, historically. Now it hinders and represses them.

Well, women are unhappier now than in the 50's (online articles, will find if requested). I recall reading articles written by middle aged singletons moaning that feminism sold them a lie (ya think?), told them that careers were more important than babies, that they should wait for Mr perfect, rather than Mr good enough. And then it was all too late.

We're told that our bodies are perfect, as they are, but keep it covered because a man might look at you, but it's OK, wear fuck all because it's 'empowering'.

Analyse everything that you do, EVERYTHING. Remember, you're a woman, so there's a big conspiracy to hold you down and oppress you, be on your guard. Your words are not your own if you disagree.

Do you think I'm not repressed on here? How many women, do you think, want to say 'fuck off, I love men, they're ok'? What happens if they do? What happens if they say they want to have men look at them? You know what happens, isn't that repression? What about women who's ambitions are to be a mother? Does everyone say 'wonderful'? No.

I could quite literally go on for a very long time about this kim. No-one has ever repressed me more than women, and feminists (most, not all), are the very worst offenders.

Don't compare the people on here with the suffragettes kim. They don't even begin to come close. Dividing the sexes isn't what they fought for, and this is exactly what's happening.

Those articles about "moaning singletons" (delightful expression, I'm sure), SF, were they in the Daily Fail?

Maybe, just maybe, women in the 50s appeared happier because they had lower expectations?

'Maybe, just maybe, women in the 50s appeared happier because they had lower expectations?'

Maybe women today expect too much? Or should we demand perfection 'because we're worth it'. Maybe some women priced themselves out of the market, because the upkeep of the ivory tower cost too much in terms of emotional energy.

Gosh, what do you mean by "expecting too much"?

Mra sites use accepted home office stats? Really?

Is that why aVFM has a link to some dodgy bloke who claims that 41% of rape claims are false? When Keir Starmer and the CPS study found that they account for less than 3%.

Perhaps you should tell Paul Elam about the error on his site?

'A man has a lot less expectations on him than a woman'

You are, of course, joking.

'Gosh, what do you mean by "expecting too much"?'

You expect superhuman restraint. I envisage a passive aggressive hellhole. Put it this way, if I was expected to 'check my privilege' every time I unthinkingly mentioned a 'wrong' word, and have my every utterance picked over and commented upon. If I was expected to behave like some Stepford drone, then I might think 'fuck that'. And rightly so.

Christ I have flaws. Shitloads. If DH pulled me up on every time I cocked up, or pissed him off, or shouted or bloody ANYTHING really, we would have had a very short relationship indeed.

Buddhism tells us that all the evidence shows us that life is suffering. It teaches us that when you stop striving for perfection, then you arrive at contentedness. Spot on I say.

'but men used to only be expected to get a job to support the family.'

Is that all? Only that? No pressure at all then. Speaking as a current SAHM (although not for too much longer), I can tell you that DH finds it very stressful being the sole earner to support the family. I certainly wouldn't want that level of stress, nor would most women, judging from a recent business survey that stated 7 out of 10 women prioritize family life over work.

'Is that why aVFM has a link to some dodgy bloke who claims that 41% of rape claims are false? When Keir Starmer and the CPS study found that they account for less than 3%.'

Are you aware just how much 'info' and stats are out there regarding this subject?

'Perhaps you should tell Paul Elam about the error on his site?'

Perhaps you should. He'd love to hear from you, I'm sure.

'What expectations has a man got?'

I don't know. You initially asked 'A man has a lot less expectations on him than a woman', expectations by society, did you mean?

Then you asked 'what expectations has a man got?' Does that mean on himself?

sig, I really think you have the wrong idea about what feminism sets out to achieve - but this has all been said to you before.

If you think that I lead my life determined that my dh and sons end up as - how did you put it? - "disempowered fuck toys, who hold the screws while women put up the shelves" -then you're clearly not reading what people are writing.

This thread is about male violence against women. What I would like to see is an end to rape culture, domestic violence, victim blaming, workplace discrimination, the pay gap, FGM, femicide, sex trafficking - all of which are well documented to disproportionately affect women - but are denied by MRa's. Which I'm sure you're about to do.