So many evil men...can't stand it

[SplitHeadGirl]

First of all, I know fully well that men will get upset at what I think and am about to say, so I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority, but who seem to be few (is it their deafening silence?)

But any fool can see that the sheer amount of men, who are prepared to do unspeakable things to women and girls (and boys as well as other men, not to mention the vulnerable and the elderly...wow, the list goes on) is just overwhelming. I read today about Anene Booysen, and I was absolutely heartbroken, but yet not shocked. For men to be so diabolical to women is not shocking anymore, and that is men's greatest tragedy.

I have two little daughters, and a little son, and I fear for them at the hands of men. Not women...just men.

I feel like I am thinking out loud with this post, so no worries if no one feels they can respond. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless at the tsunami of male violence.

If the OP has only just come to realise the level of evil that men are capable of, I'd suggest she doesn't know her history. Khan, Stalin, Hitler, Mao. The behaviour of empires throughout history shows how people can be conquered, slaughtered, enslaved, as does the slave trade out of Africa. Should we really be surprised about the actions of individuals, when whole countries are capable of atrocities?

The collective guilt thing though - I suspect that that is where a lot of people struggle.

< slight divertissement, can anyone link to the thread on Vicki Pryce and the criminalisation of women being contributed to by the men in their lives please? I read it, and this week want to use some of evidence/notions in something I am doing about women in prison. I've looked through the list but it's vanished. Was it deleted, or have I done a man-search? Or it could be a phone issue..Assistance appreciated.>

'If women are to be at the receiving end of violence, it is most likely to come from a man.'

Hmmm. I don't know Kim. I just cannot take a sweeping statement like that and say that it's true. Like the one in four, 1000 women questioned, rape/sexual abuse classed as anything from violent attack to unwanted kiss/hand on leg. Plus the ambiguous wording used in the survey.

Women hit other women, mothers hit daughters, men hit women. Is it most likely to come from a man? Who knows, but we live in a society that says 'boys don't hit girls', and there is shame in this act. Now I'm not saying it doesn't happen, of course not, that would be ridiculous.

I'm waffling now, but what I'm trying to say is, I don't know, and nor do you, not really.

'If a man is at the receiving end of violence, it is most likely to come from a man.'

Probably, yes. I'm thinking gang fights/muggings/football fights etc...but then again, it's another generalisation, who knows.

What I will say is that if a man lashes out, he's more likely to do more damage than if a woman lashed out with a similar force. Which, I suppose, is why it's considered worse.

'Sig, do you think that a man in a heterosexual relationship is just as likely to be in physical danger from his partner than vice versa?'

I think he's probably as likely to be physically attacked. I wouldn't think he'd be in the same physical danger. Although men who experience serious DV are usually hit with implements, rather than fists.

'Where is the compassion for women from MRAs Sigmund?'

I have compassion for women.

'What feminists are trying to do will ultimately benefit men.'

What feminists are trying to do will ultimately benefit feminists. Lets not be dishonest with the feminist goals here. Turning men into a feminised fuck toy, handy for holding the screws whilst his wife puts up the shelves isn't beneficial to anybody but feminists.

'A world with less violence would be good for everyone.'

Agreed.

< found the thread after doing a Vicky Pryce search. It was one of yours kim>

'But of course you would have to realize some people will not admit what really happened because they are too scared or embarrassed.'

And this is the eternal problem when I comes to apportioning accountability, you can never get to the truth. We can all speculate.

I'm sure, maybe a couple of years ago, when Dittany was around (pre NYAC namechange anyway), there was some discussion or link or something to A & E stats, so maybe some are available.

Turning men into a feminised fuck toy, handy for holding the screws whilst his wife puts up the shelves isn't beneficial to anybody but feminists.

That is a bizarre statement.

Sounds like you believe women should be fuck toys who hold screws while men put up shelves Sig, or otherwise it will be the end of civilisation as we know it.

Are you seriously suggesting that men are emasculated by a holding a screw or not holding a hammer?

How about neither sex being a fuck toy for starters, either sex being dextrous enough to hold a screw and handy enough to put up a shelf. In other words let individuals do what they are good at as individuals. Last time I looked it didn't require a penis or vagina to hold a screw or use a hammer.

I'm not very good at putting up shelves that are level so DH does tend to do it, but that's because I am pretty useless at practical stuff, not because I am female. I am, it has to be said, also totally useless at sewing and knitting. DH however sews a mean button (learned courtesy of the RAF).

You have to be a pretty wimpy guy to be emasculated by your wife putting up a shelf.

Really Sig, you are doing your cause no favours.

You're overthinking a glib statement Grimble, and also taking it way too literally.

'Last time I looked it didn't require a penis or vagina to hold a screw or use a hammer'

No, but you haven't seen my DH handle a hammer! I do all the DIY here.

'You have to be a pretty wimpy guy to be emasculated by your wife putting up a shelf.'

Depends on how much of your identity is wrapped up in being good at DIY really.

Quite a revelatory glib statement though. How does men being suddenly assigned "women's" roles supposedly make them lesser men but the same roles are deemed not to denigrate women? In my world, we both do the bits we're good at and share the jobs we both hate. We don't get assigned roles based on gender.

I don't think I want to live in your world, SF.

Even more of a bizarre statement Sig if you are the one doing the DIY. You are actually doing what you would criticise feminists for doing, but perhaps it's OK as long as he doesn't hold the screws for you

Depends on how much of your identity is wrapped up in being good at DIY really

Well, anyone whose identity is wrapped up in being good at DIY clearly has got much of a grip on RL.

Women hit other women, mothers hit daughters, men hit women. Is it most likely to come from a man? Who knows, but we live in a society that says 'boys don't hit girls', and there is shame in this act. Now I'm not saying it doesn't happen, of course not, that would be ridiculous.

We do know that SF. From every measure, survey, study, research piece, experience, interventions,anecdote, criminal convictions, and anything else you could reasonably point to. Perhaps ( and I can understand this a bit) you don't wish to concur with feminists who point this out, as it could mean having to agree with other less-convincing stuff that feminists suggest is 'true' and it's projected implications. But that doesn't make the male violence profile any less true at all.

What feminists are trying to achieve WILL help men. most men do best in an equal fair relationship. Feminists also lobby to ensure fairness for men, for equality of childcare/contact after divorce, for fair divorce settlements. They are not sitting there wanting women to have everything. They want things for men which men find it hard to get at present. They want it as easy for men to say to their wife they will give up work as vice versa. Feminists arguably have a very pro men agenda, at least I do.

Also no one here surely is suggesting that women are as violent as men? That would never stack up.

(I do lots of DIY - cannot understand a relationship really where there are sexist roles).

LOL. Feminists want men to give up their unearned privilege and the violence they utilise to keep hold of it and to share the power and resources in the world with the other half of humanity so that we can build a world which works better for all of us. And that gets interpreted as wanting to turn men into screw-holding fuck-toys.

Oh... kay.

I know more of evil women than I do of evil men and I have been a victim of rape too.

www.ons.gov.uk/ons/dcp171778_298904.pdf

Those who wish to maintain male intimate partner violence against women is no more serious than women attacking men may have alternative statistics from different sources. If so, please show that research.

That graph shows over 50% of 172 women killed by ex/current partner as compared to 5% of 367 men

the ONS isn't run by feminists, by the way. They just collect facts. Remember them?

'I don't think I want to live in your world, SF.'

Oh Christ, don't even get me started! My DH is as feminist as it gets. He copes with my world quite admirably.

'Well, anyone whose identity is wrapped up in being good at DIY clearly has got much of a grip on RL.'

Ditto anyone whose identity is wrapped up in anything really.

'We do know that SF. From every measure, survey, study, research piece, experience, interventions,anecdote, criminal convictions, and anything else you could reasonably point to.'

Yes. Because every man and woman in the UK has been clearly,individually, carefully and anonymously questioned. And everybody who has ever experienced DV has reported it or answered yes on a questionnaire.

' And that gets interpreted as wanting to turn men into screw-holding fuck-toys.'

I'm becoming quite proud of that quote. I might use it more.

I'd see that as utter denial, in the face of overwhelming evidence, so for me, not much worth arguing with.

What would poster's methods of tackling male violence be?

Would poster's still love their son if they were violent and killed?

Same here, pan.