The Feminist Pub - come on in, chat, ask a quick question, ramble ... whatever you like!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Hello and welcome! Pull up a chair!

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1875250-The-Feminist-Pub-is-Open-Chat-Rant-or-pull-up-a-chair-here. But don't feel you need to read or catch up - just jump in.

I'm having a nice cup of earl grey but there is wine mulling as requested.

What can I get anyone?

It can also mean sleazy or slapper.

It's a derogatory way of judging a woman based on her perceived sexual practices. There isn't the same approbation for men.

Does that help?

Yes. Thanks.
Mn is an education; always is .

'Tis the usual double standard, she's 'mucky' , he's a 'lad'

I've given up teaching me dad anything along those lines - I pull him up on his usual sexist remarks, but I don't expect him to change at 80.

That's what I was trying to say to him kickassangel, but he didn't seem to get it. I said that it was derogatory and there was no equivalent term for a man, and he just kept saying that it was complimentary. I can kind of see what he was saying, ie that it's great that a woman looks like she's up for sex, and why shouldn't she be? but he couldn't seem to grasp my point of it being a derogatory term.

Maybe he was trying to 'reclaim' it for women in the same way as cunt and bitch are be reclaimed?!

*being

Good morning!

I've been out Friday night, and Saturday night, and am going out again this afternoon.

Am going to spend the next working week feeling like a zombie.

Did anyone watch Borgen last night? Shall have to catch up, somehow.

What?! Borgen is back on??
How have I missed this?
Where? When?

My social life only happens all in a row and when there is something good on telly.

Borgen on BBC4, Saturday night. Journalist has a child now!

Oh, thank you

Must be on catch-up or iPlayer, surely?

We don't have much of a social life, never have had, but having DCs and no family nearby did not exactly help. Lovely nanny will babysit for us, but it makes every evening out rather £££, so we don't bother v often.

Work night-out at Christmas is the social highlight of my year .

I really am not as miserable a git as that makes me sound, but I do like MN for random chat and larking about.

DH is planning on going to his mum's house today to pack some of her clothes in bags and give to charity shop. She is not dead, but increasingly demented and has been living with SiL for 6 months now or so. And she has lost so much weight that she will never wear what she still has in her house again . It is really sad.
I don't know whether to offer to go with him or to stay away. If I go with him then DCs need to go too of course. Which could be a good distraction or a disaster.... He's not said anything either way. But then he wouldn't...

Functional communication would really be a great help sometimes

Borgen was fantastic, and it was well signposted on both BBC4 and telly addicts here (iplayer link). It is so refreshing to watch a series where there are so many well developed female characters so you get to see them as people rather than 'the female'. And I have such a girl crush on Birgitte, she is fab!

Oh, 2 hrs of Borgen back to back .
Thanks for reminding me.
Now SKY+ing the next ones.

Yy to great female roles - even Katrine being a 'pretty blonde' is not type-cast a 'dumb blonde'. None of them are too idealised either: they make mistakes, they struggles with different loyalties/roles in their lives. To be fair, the male roles are v good as well IMO.
It is just a rather good program altogether.

Been out (again) but will start on Borgen later!

Been busy this weekend. But just watching some TV this evening. You wouldn't know that women made up slightly more than half of the population.

Good grief.

Are people really that incapable of looking beyond their own experience?? Ack.

I'll have large house white please.
I feel discriminated against because there is no [white wine] emoticon.

Just watched the first episode of Borgen.

Wow. Is all I can say.

It's good, isn't it?
Gawn, watch the 2nd one, you know you want to...

watched Gravity yesterday.

Film's focus on Sandra bullock - good.
Sandra bullock wearing a vest and hot pants (instead of the actual, realistic long john type outfit) under her space suit -NO NEED, THANKS!

A quick question before I get myself a pint (and apologies if this has been covered anywhere before):

Are there any introductory talks on feminism specifically for 10-11 year olds in school? I would love my dd's school to have something, if only to open the discussion.

Oh dear god I am sick. This is my third illness in three weeks and I feel so crap. Just needing to moan and may not be back for a while as even mn is beyond me!

I've just commented on you other thread.

Hope you feel better soon x.

WhatwouldFreddiedo I don't know of any. Sorry. All I have heard of is to have women scientists/mathematicians or other experts talk to school children. Which in itself is a Good Thing.

kickass hope you feel better soon.

So with Borgen. The journalist takes the job, but feels torn between a fulfilling job and being important to her child (is that what it is? Not sure... It's not that she hasn't got childcare and it's not that the child is not cared for by a devoted carer. What is it?) But it looks like she still feels torn. Why? What is to be done??? (Taking things far too personally... )

Does "mucky" mean "kinky" then? I have to admit I haven't come across it in that way although I have seen "filthy" used in a sort of positive/sort of derogatory, sexual way to basically mean "kinky", but for both sexes.

Aaaargh, I am trying so hard to stay away from the "Oh, my DH is so ditzy" thread, in fact have not posted on it for hours, but aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I thought Katrine was torn by the usual Working Mother's Impossible Choices aggravated by the fact that her mother was her main childcare provider - always fraught with emotional pressure IMO. Her whole attitude to her boy seems a bit... ?detached or something Why is she always shown totally frazzled when left alone with him?? I also don't understand her financial problems: her parents "always helped her out"? Did her fancy TV1 anchorwoman job not pay well? And what about Whatshisface - her son's father? Is she keen on him, but he has childhood ishoos which the Love of a Good Woman and the birth of his son have not cured?

Oh, I love a bit of escapism, particularly when it's this good .

Katrine is frazzled because she only gets the bad bits (changing nappies and interacting with your child only after a long day when you are tired and child is tired) but not much of the good bits. (Can't remember what they are. ) And she's frazzled because child is forever asking for grandma.

So is this unavoidable if you want a fulfilling job? Do men not feel that way, or is it just we don't get that portrayal?

I think Borgen has a lovely surface sheen of feminism (go, woman PM!) but is depressingly, sneakily conservative.

Birgitte lost her husband because she was too busy running the country to make him feel like a Man in the bedroom.

She didn't get a nanny / au pair / other help at home for ages because, erm, some belief that you have to Do it All Yourself to be a Real Parent. (Admittedly her husband was supposed to be involved too, so it was not as bad as Mother Must Do it All, but it still attaches a stigma to getting outside help which is really unhelpful in the project of getting mothers lives of their own, at least in this country where fathers generally do fuck all, maybe Denmark is different, oh good I'm glad you know some very hands on fathers, you know what I mean)

Katrine's life is a mess because she is an Unmarried Mother and Career Woman. They keep hinting that everything would be better if she settled down with Kespar.

I don't know either why her ace job is so poorly paid. Perhaps the script writers as just as squeamish about giving women real money and proper independence as the rest of the goddamned world.

Yes! Let's talk about how feminist or unfeminist Borgen is. But after I've had a swim with the kids.