The Feminist Pub - come on in, chat, ask a quick question, ramble ... whatever you like!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Hello and welcome! Pull up a chair!

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Old thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1875250-The-Feminist-Pub-is-Open-Chat-Rant-or-pull-up-a-chair-here. But don't feel you need to read or catch up - just jump in.

I'm having a nice cup of earl grey but there is wine mulling as requested.

What can I get anyone?

Not just on here. I didn't phrase that thread well.

But in any discussion, some women focuss on their individual feelings. For example porn - well I enjoy watching it. Lap dancing - well I don't care if my DP goes to a lap dancing club.

Becoming a feminist requires you to go beyond that. And it seems difficult for many women to make the jump.

Oh, gingerbread coffee - yes, please

I think there is an honesty box for all the self-served drinks we're taking until LRD is back.

feminism requires looking beyond your own immediate feelings, to look at deeper truths.
Lots of things do, not just feminism, and I find it v frustration how few people can/are prepared to do that. Of course everything we think and do is informed by our own experience, but that does not mean that one needs to be immune to the wider implications.

Did you see the 'rich' thread? It went a bit as well....

No I didn't

Well, if you have not lived in abject poverty yourself, you cannot understand anything about it. Otoh, if you have lived in poverty at any point in your life, you are an expert on the subject.

I may be generalising every so slightly....

I accept that not being black, I'll never experience racism in this culture. This does not mean that I have not experienced it elsewhere. And even if I hand't, I can still be aware of it, learn about it, do my damndest to avoid it.

Wrt to feminism: I well aware of all my privileges and hate when that is used to shut debate down, and, for instance, I am happy to be married (like any honest person: most of the time ), but that does not mean that I cannot see the partriarchal construct behind it and how ti still disadvantages women. In general. Gah.

Oh, it's too early for this

If we could only talk about things we had personally experienced, our views would be incredibly limited and parochial. So I couldn't say the Government's policies on disability benefits are wrong, as I am not on those benefits for example.

Interesting article today in the Evening Standard...

"I’ll treat attacks on women as a hate crime, says new DPP Alison Saunders"

I have started a thread in 'In the News' with links to the 2 articles...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/1901483-I-ll-treat-attacks-on-women-as-a-hate-crime-says-new-DPP-Alison-Saunders

Oh that's great news Yoni. I've posted on your thread.

Mine's a Lemsip. Do you think they would be allowed to serve Lemsips in pubs? I suppose this is our pub. We can serve what the hell we want!

I think that feminism is one area of academia where the personal experience is given more agency than in others. Lots of feminists texts do look at the experience of the individual, as well as then broadening it out to look at general patterns etc.

after all, it doesn't matter if you're part of a group or the only person to experience something, if you feel oppressed and unhappy, then you need to be able to express that.

I'll have a look in a mo', thanks, Yoni.

scallop, of course you can have a Lemsip - or how about a Hot Toddy? . Hope you are not feeling too miserable.

kissassangel, I agree with you, but also thing that even if you do NOT feel too affected by sexism you can join debate about feminism. I do believe that some men are good feminists. By my definition of feminism which is probably not the most radical one out there... .

Well, today has been super shit for me. Off to do kids' tea and bath, but I'll be back at about 8 when I shall be pouring myself the largest virtual glass of wine the bar provides.

I need something to sooth the throat after:

DS1: we are going to be late.
Me: not if you put your shoes on now. We have plenty of time.
DS1: there isn't enough time we are going to be late < repeat ad nauseum
Me: YES WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE IF YOU JUST SIT THERE DOING NOTHING BUT MOAN ABOUT HOW WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE

Deep breath.

ARRRGGGHHH

Sorry about all the shouting. It's not even a feminist rage.

I hope none of you is my neighbour... EVERYONE within 5 miles must have heard me.

Oh, I had that all week, LordCopper:

DS4 I wanna go to toddler group
Me Toddler group is not on today

Repeat several times every sodding day in the last week, met with increasing and increasingly noisy expressions of disappointment and disgust.

Today me: Huzzah, it's time to go to the toddler group
DS4 I don't wanna go, no, I don't wanna go, I DON"T wanna go, I never wanna go again, waiiiiiiiiiil!!!

Toddler - who'd have them?!

I've had a super shit day too Penguins - well only a super shit back to school Monday morning really but has left me feeling a bit crap for rest of the day too. Better now everyone home and in better moods than when they left. Also I now have a LIDL Baileys

I was told, though, that it's boys who do this. Girls don't.

This is an interesting thread in Dadsnet. It includes the quote " Why does a man become a woman basher? It can start out as friendly physical play between the two. But then it gets out of hand. What starts out friendly finishes up violent." (corrected spelling). I think the gentleman(Who describes themselves as a feminist) has a lot to learn. I don't think he's an intentional troll. I think he likes to give his opinion but has never actually listened to anybody in return. I now have a flat nose from all the facepalming I've been doing.

Hot Toddy sounds wonderful. Yes please! I'm am mainly ratty and have a low tolerance for bullshit at the moment so evo-psyche bull on one thread the whole you are being unreasonable about male violence on another thread is doing my head in. I am probably not the best person to go to Dadsnet at the moment

I agree kickass about feminism listening to personal experience more. Do you think it has something to do with the fact that women don't have much of a platform and their voices aren't listened to normally? Also feminists recognise that the personal is political.

Yes I saw the thread earlier and thought it was best I stay away, TBH!

On a lighter note, there was a rather excellent news story today about a group of French teenagers who liberated a Llama from a circus and took him for a ride on the tram, at which point the ticket inspector pointed out that the llama didn't have a ticket, removed it from the tram and tied it to a lamppost.

(It's not feminist, but this is a pub!)

I need a fortifying drink.
Today, not only is it Monday, and I feel like I'm getting a bad cold/fluey virus thing.

But also - need to get a new tyre as had a flat yesterday.

AND (this is where I REALLY need a drink) - I'm taking the cat to the vets to have his anal glands drained.

I did suggest to dh we could watch the youtube clips that show us how to do this at home, thereby saving around $100, but he wasn't keen. Instead I shall take the cat, and probably have to hold him down and breath in the smell while the vet does the dirty.

I will probably need a drink after that as well as before.

Still, I have an entire evening of marking projects to keep me happy. Sigh.

Watched the 50th anniversary celebrations of the National theatre on Saturday night. The youngest actress considered worthy enough to be given a speaking role was Fiona Shaw. And yet Benedict Cumberbatch had a part. And at the end, when the actors all came out, 90% were male (apparently 30% of theatre roles are for women). Spoilt the night for me (it felt like more watching it because Judi Dench featured so prominantly.

Right. I am back. Since this is virtual, one enormous fuck off bucket of wine please.

My head is about to explode - I am on some silly threads, some downright weird ones and some where some semi-sensible debate/conversation is to be had

to anal glands: TMI Rather you than me!!

I stay away from dads net unless I stumble across stuff in Active convos I just often don't have the energy to engage those who Know They Are Right.

I hope everybody's cold/lurgies will be warded off by the therapeutic effects of The Jolly Greer - I take it this is the name we have settled on?

I was told, though, that it's boys who do this

LordCopper, in that case, my boys are ALL doing it right