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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Join me, if you will, in envisaging the feminist pub

307 replies

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 17/09/2013 14:35

Inspired by the obvious thread, I feel we need a fictional pub that's as the same sort of mecca for feminists. The antidote to the classic sexist bloke pub, where the floor is sticky and you can't get to the bar without pushing past three Important Regulars peering at your boobs and making blonde jokes, while the barman asks 'are you sure' when you order real ale and the beer for ladies comes in comedy funny-shaped pint glasses for our wee delicate hands.

In the feminist pub, I want to outlaw stupid jokes, obviously. But I also think the bar needs to be at a height that doesn't put my boobs on pint-level for every bloke there. And I would like it if there were etiquette that, when you've got your pint, you don't sit chatting to the barman and taking up space, you move away (I have never seen a woman sit on the edge of a bar, alone).

And I fancy copies of classics like 'Letters from a fainthearted feminist' standing about dog-earned on the bookcases, in place of old back issues of Spectator or random leather-bound books by dead white men.

Shall I apply for a pub lease then? And what else do we want in the feminist pub?

OP posts:
therumoursaretrue · 18/09/2013 20:34

I want to live in this pub! Sounds fantastic.

garlicbaguette · 18/09/2013 20:34

... which will be amusing, as Garlic is currently wearing fake Uggs Blush

garlicbaguette · 18/09/2013 20:36

I agree, rumours! As it's morphing into a better kind of Women's Club, there will doubtless be a residential floor for us committed members.

With a spare room, as I've just been barred on grounds of ugly footwear Grin

stubbornstains · 18/09/2013 20:42

you know, how women talk amongst themselves when they've had a few beers and the men are in the minority. What, like Mumsnet then? Grin

As a bust, can I suggest Andrea Dworkin? Near the entrance, maybe with animated googly eyes? Ain't going to get no undesirables through that door!

Well, as my contribution to this fictional heavenly pub, I want to paint all the signs, as I'm a traditional signwriter! I'm thinking a nice vagina dentata, or sheela-na-gig? Don't get many requests for those IRL Grin

Sheshelob · 18/09/2013 20:43

No ban, dear. I wouldn't fucking dare.

MrsGeologist · 18/09/2013 20:52

There has to be a Mary Wollstonecraft bust.

Sheshelob · 18/09/2013 20:53

And Grace Jones.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 18/09/2013 21:21

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Sheshelob · 18/09/2013 21:37

Traitor!

You could make the bottle cap name badges, Buff. For our members and shit.

I'm still working on my client interface and shit.

kim147 · 18/09/2013 21:57

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ouryve · 18/09/2013 21:59

Clean toilets. With seats you can sit on. And a floor that won't automatically revolt you when your clothes land on it because you're not a man and have to sit down.

dementedma · 18/09/2013 22:08

I know its lighthearted but sounds like the pub from hell. I just go to ordinary pubs and don't get offended.

therumoursaretrue · 18/09/2013 22:13

Massive yes to residential floor garlic...see I would have just moved in as a permanent resident and found myself a corner regardless, but your idea is much better!

tethersend · 18/09/2013 22:13

I could be sick on the pool table if it helps?

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 18/09/2013 22:37

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 18/09/2013 22:38

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 18/09/2013 22:38

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ModeratelyObvious · 18/09/2013 23:14

Congrats on the hot water Buffy

I like the idea of being able to cry in the pub.

garlicbaguette · 19/09/2013 02:18

Ducking iPad Grin

I've cried in loads of pubs, MO. Hasn't everybody? Confused

I'm now wearing my Deceptively Hard flip-flops, thank you, Shesh, and am padding up the richly (cleanly) carpeted stairs to my private suite at the Fclub. Everybody's welcome for a nightcap, except demented, who wasn't there anyway, and Tethers isn't invited until she's stopped puking and had a wash.
Night!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 19/09/2013 08:33

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yegodsandlittlefishes · 19/09/2013 08:59

Right. Could we put this pub within walking distance to my house? Could really do with a place like this, but sick of having to drive (and not drink in) pubs.

kim147 · 19/09/2013 09:12

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LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti · 19/09/2013 09:17

I am loving this thread. You lot are wonderful.

I am definitely going with the smell of woodsmoke and the inventions of women. And the right-on cocktail names. And the feminist coat of arms.

demented - yeah, it is just meant to be a bit of fun. I don't get offended in most pubs as there are lots of nice ones round near me, I'm just thinking about the fun stuff. Nice clean loos and so on. I actually like stuff like feminist books and films, too.

For me, can we please have some decent non-alcoholic drinks? I realize this isn't remotely a feminist thing. But it makes me sad that there are no pubs where you can get both real ale, and also nice non-alc drinks. Not lemonade that I can feel stripping the enamel off my teeth!

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 19/09/2013 10:41

No dress code.

And. We. Are. Not. Having. Any. Cowboys.
Nothing against cowboys, but I'd like to use this pub to get away from the pornification of everything and sexual objectifying, not bring it in with us.

Can we have linenfold panelling and very good soft furnishings please?

MooncupGoddess · 19/09/2013 10:43

That is a good point. There are actually loads of nice non-alcoholic drinks around these days but pubs tend to stick to chemical lemonade and nasty Britvic.

Can I also put in a plea for sloe gin (the proper stuff), elderberry wine and other warming homemade liquors.