If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

[kickassangel]

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

[Isthisoneleft]

You will never make everyone else happy so ensure that what you do makes you happy.

[solveproblem]

Always be nice to people, but don't take shit.

[chickydoo]

Love yourself! You have one life, take it by the horns and live it to the full. Do what you want to do, be who you want to be.
When you are old and look back on your life you can think " Wow! I did that, and loved it!"

[TheYoniWayIsUp]

Take a chance on a good guy.

[PearlyWhites]

There is great value in being a mother and running a home.

[colditz]

If something makes you happy, do it, even if some men think it makes you unattractive.

[RippingYarns]

I'm baffled why so many responses are about relationships, personal appearance and their own children.

Would you say those things to your sons?

[scallopsrgreat]

I don't think it is strange at all that the responses are about women's relationships to men. Men oppress us. Seems sensible to give advice with regards trying to live or overcome that oppression.

[RippingYarns]

But on the advice front, bit difficult as DD has SN in an area that where women/girls are not easily recognised/supported. Not sure if she's going to able to live independently but my advice is if you smell bullshit, check it out.

[colditz]

I do say those things to my sons.

[RippingYarns]

Cold :) I bet lots of other people don't

[OneStepCloser]

Be financially independent, get a good education and career so that you can carry youself and your own children/animals/home whatever independently. (wishes own mother had told me this when I was young)

[Caster8]

That all people have to earn your trust.

[Ulysses]

Sort out your finances. Would say the same for a son too.

[post]

Nothing is more important than your happiness.

[blueshoes]

"Never rely on one man financially", closely linked to "don't put yourself in a position where you and your children have to take shit from a man just because you have no options".

[post]

And that's EXACTLY what I say to my sons, my sisters, my husband, myself :)

[blueshoes]

I would only say mine to my daughter. My advice is gender-specific.

[Pagwatch]

Find the thing you love. Then try and find a way to make it pay you a salary.
Getting up each day to do something you love is the secret of happiness.

But that's for all my dc.

[Pagwatch]

(pedantic note - 'if anyone ever touches you in a way you don't like, scream etc etc' massively misunderstands grooming)

[MumnGran]

Darliing DD's .... if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck ....its always going to be a duck. Whatever you do.

[Pagwatch]

God yes to duck quackiness.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Never be a martyr to anyone. Compromise, sure, but don't ever be the one making all the sacrifices in any relationship - with friends, partner or children. Believe absolutely in your self-worth and your right to be just as happy and fulfilled as your partner/children.

I would say similar to my sons - about belief in their self-worth, but men are rarely called upon to be martyrs to their families, so I would probably leave that out. I would instead tell my sons to not believe that they have to live up to any artificial masculine ideal - that they are men no matter how they act/dress or if they respond emotionally and any true friend or partner would love them more, not less for being their own version of a man.

In short, in both cases it's about not letting societal ideals/pressures of what women/men should be or do dictate their lives and relationships.

[runningonwillpower]

When I saw the thread, I was thinking along the lines of 'never wear two tarty garments at the same time'.

I shall go away and think more deeply.

[GetStuffezd]

Make the most of every educational opportunity that comes your way.