If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

[kickassangel]

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

[GibberTheMonkey]

Threebee
That poster sounds interesting. Is it home made or can you tell me where I might get one please

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

It was homemade: we sat down together and we all came up with ideas, then grouped them under different headings:

Respect ourselves.
Respect others.
Respect our community.
Respect the planet.
Respect our home.
Respect God (I realise that this last one wouldn't be relevant to all families!).

Then I made it into a sort of mindmap in different colours using a well-known home publishing software application.

[williaminajetfighter]

Mine would honestly be: try to enjoy yourself!! And work wise, follow your bliss.

I come from a long line of miseryguts and people who could turn a sunny day into a rain cloud. I hope to god my lovely DD doesn't end up cynical and joyless like them. Enjoying yourself sometimes needs to be a conscious effort!

[Icedink]

My advice would be the same to my ds - do what makes you happy and know that you deserve it.

[Patosshades]

Do what you want, life is too short.

[AlpacaLunchYoubringyourbooster]

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself

[LeBFG]

Stand up and be counted.

The world is full of shits that you have to learn to manage.

Learn to listen to your own inner voice and trust what it says.

Other stuff too, I can't think of at the moment

[lainiekazan]

Don't leave it too late to have children. If a man says he's not ready, you can be quite certain that he'll be ready the minute he dumps you for someone with ovaries ten years younger. (Not me, but this has happened to numerous women I know.)

[blueshoes]

Agree, Lainie.

If you are in your thirties and want children, don't waste time on men who are not ready. Just leave and find a new (better, more committed) one. Plenty of fish in the sea.

[Coffeenowplease]

Your body is yours. No one can touch it without your permission. Not a doctor, not a priest, not your boyfriend, not a police officer no one.Ever.

[Tabby1963]

don't diet, it will make you fat and food obsessed.

[Loopytiles]

At this moment (dd small), mine would definitely be around relationships, as I and many of the women I know have struggled, staying with boys/men who were not treating them well for far too long.

Wanting dd to treat others well is a given, so wouldn't need to say it. I'd want to say something to counteract the pressure to put men first, work at it rather than leave.

Some kind of combination of annielobesder's - don't be the one making much more effort and sacrifices - in any relationship. if you're unhappy or the way someone is treating you in a way you (or close friends or family) think is bad, leaving is probably best, and the oklahoma and walks like a duck ones!

Also agree with the one about being responsible for yourself (and not others, DC excepted!)

[BasilBabyEater]

It's OK to be single. In fact, it's probably better.

[Blistory]

Don't engage with trolls, either in real life or online.

How I wish my mother had taught me that one.

[Lesley1980]

'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard'

Women can talk over & down to other women too. Surely it should be never let anyone talk over/down to you.

[Remotecontrolduck]

Do what truly makes you happy, and don't worry what other people think. Most likely they're not thinking anything at all, and the few that are, aren't worth your time!

[CaptChaos]

I don't have a DD, but I would tell my DS's and my DN's to remember that love is not a finite resource and that it should be classed as a verb as well as a noun. Love for your fellow person, love for the planet and love for yourself should be bottomless and active.

I believe that from such love comes respect, and following on from respect comes everything else.

I am a bit sappy like that

[Dervel]

If you want to know wether a man is right for you just do this: Ignore utterly what he says, but pay every attention to what he does. A man's true nature is shown in his actions more than his words.

[soundevenfruity]

Marry and have children early.

[Kiwiinkits]

Was just about to write exactly what Dervel just wrote. Pay attention to people's actions, their words mean diddly squat. And, my dad's advice, "Don't do anything you wouldn't be happy to have splashed across the front page of the paper" (basically, keep your dignity and your integrity).

[Kiwiinkits]

Would give the same advice to my sons, if I had them.
Advice that would be particular to my DD's would include telling them that their body is a fantastic piece of marvellous machinery that allows them to do all of the things they ever dream of doing. Respect your body but your body doesn't define your worth - it is a tool for you to use to define your worth doing COOL STUFF.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

coffeenow are you my DM?

I was going to give the advice of my DM, "your body is the only thing that really belongs to you. You get to make all the decisions about it."

And my DF's, "so, if any man touches you without permission or bullies you physically, kick him really hard in the bollocks."

[exoticfruits]

Mine would be don't marry and have children early!