Just about everyone went cap in hand to Cromwell at some point as far as I can see.
Has anyone else had a delve through all the official correspondence of this time on British-history.ac.uk? Honestly, you should. There are some gems in there. My favourites are the 'dear Cromwell, would you like to marry my daughter? Here's a picture of her. It was done a couple of years ago but if she takes your fancy I can get a more up to date one if you like' one, and Norfolk grumbling that Cromwell has sent him the wrong licence of the execution of Aske (ie 'this is the licence for Lincolnshire not Yorkshire! And make sure you get it right next time and send the one for the country of Yorkshire not the city of York because the castle is outside the city walls'). (I have paraphrased rather than quoted, obv.) (Sorry, I tend to bang on about that one rather a lot.)
LRD, re views of adultery, I think they did have an idea of it being hurtful. The Duchess of Norfolk's letters complaining about the Duke's mistress are full of 'but I'm twenty years younger than him!' 'He married me for love!' 'I've been a good wife, I've given him five children!' She was unusual in that she complained quite so publicly, but I do think there was a feeling that if you did your bit to be a good wife (and were attractive enough for any reaosnable man) you were entitled to expect faithfulness.
I think some of his wives probably did love Henry. Even Katherine Howard saw something in him, I think. I agree with Louise - powerful men....
Wasn't it Hilary Mantel who compared the reality of the money Katharine of Aragon was spending with her 'You've left me penniless!' letters. That sort of letter always seem to be hilariously overstated, when they're compared with the reality of inventories and household accounts etc. I think it's just a standard trope to say 'I haven't got a thing to wear! I've had to sell all my clothes!' when you're asking for money. Mary Howard does something similar when she's trying to get her jointure out of Henry after Fitzroy's death. She did have to sell loads of jewels, but jewels are stored wealth anyway.